#1
Welcome to UG Pit Central Hospital, I'm the chief of medicine, Dr. Myfirstpubes. The Pit has never been a suitable replacement for a doctor, but now we can misdiagnose and malpractice on the Pit's ailments as much as we want!


These fine doctors are in charge of our main departments,

Chief of teenangstology ("depression"): ErikLensherr
Chief of stupidiology: PaulyVengeance
Chief of trollology: mcjosh
Chief of sexual frustration: ryan_nadon


So Pit, what ails you?
Last edited by Myfirstpubes at Jul 13, 2011,
#6
Dude I have this nearly fatal condition where I talk to stupid people, and they end up being punched in the face, it's so weird! how do we fix it?

Oh yeah and also have this thing where my penis is sad and when people hug him he just ends up crying! D:
#9
The Reverend Mr. Dr. Professor muffinduck01 PhD reporting in.
Quote by MakinLattes
I'd kill you and wear your skin.
Quote by Siv During Livh
To attempt to have intercourse with a hornet's nest is a very bad idea,

Voted UG's worst cross dresser.
Also voted #95 on UG's Top 100 2013. Like it means anything....
#10
I'm best qualified to handle angst. I'm more angsty than an angsty teen who's just been appointed Professor of Angst at Oxford University.
#11
I can do trollology and sexual frustration. Maybe stupidology if you need a second person.
Quote by SomeoneYouKnew
Your post was the only bright spot in this disgusting piece of thread.

Quote by lexanirider78
You have balls. I like balls....(awkward silence)

Quote by SeveralSpecies
I waited for the rape.

...


...but the rape never came
#12
Quote by ErikLensherr
I'm best qualified to handle angst. I'm more angsty than an angsty teen who's just been appointed Professor of Angst at Oxford University.


You mean Angstford?

Pretty swanky, that place.
#13
I'll be a specialist. I deal with those 'special' patients
e-married to the most fabulous Fashionista ever, Rarity
e-mom to Scootaloo, somehow
Quote by dawgeth321
Let's warm our wings, fly through the clouds, and dance in the sky, mon capitaine.

Quote by T00DEEPBLUE
Spit is a milf

UG 8-BIT ALBUM
SoundCloud
#15
Quote by Weaponized
I've got a bad case of lovin' you


I prescribe several hefty blows to the head, twice a day.
#16
Quote by ryan_nadon
I can do trollology and sexual frustration. Maybe stupidology if you need a second person.

I'll just give you trollology for now
#17
I am a sodomologist.
Quote by RU Experienced?
Now with 20 percent more Allah!!!

Quote by Borsworth
^^^


Quote by GoldenRose94

that'd be slightly creepy if i didn't find it so amusing.
#18
Quote by Myfirstpubes
I'll just give you trollology for now

Well in that case can I have sexual frustration instead please?
Quote by SomeoneYouKnew
Your post was the only bright spot in this disgusting piece of thread.

Quote by lexanirider78
You have balls. I like balls....(awkward silence)

Quote by SeveralSpecies
I waited for the rape.

...


...but the rape never came
#19
I can be a poop doctor.
Quote by tattyreagh
He's the hero The Pit deserves but not the one it needs right now. So, we'll hunt him, because he can take it. Because he's not our hero. He's a silent guardian. A watchful protector. GbAdimDb5m7.


Free Jani92jani

Free Will Swanson
#20
I've got suprisingly big balls...

Not worried, just wanted to tell you
dirtbag ballet by the bins down the alley
as i walk through the chalet of the shadow of death
everything that you've come to expect


#21
i'm high
Whenever the Will to Power, in no matter what form, begins to decline, a physiological retrogression, decadence always supervenes.
-Friedrich Nietzsche
#22
Quote by ryan_nadon
Well in that case can I have sexual frustration instead please?

sure
#23
i seem to have a raccoon in my anal cavity. i put him in there after he made me mad. well its three years later and he's dead. i need to get him out but he's fused into my rectum. please help
ಠ_ಠ
#24
Quote by stefanomire
i seem to have a raccoon in my anal cavity. i put him in there after he made me mad. well its three years later and he's dead. i need to get him out but he's fused into my rectum. please help


D: So THAT'S where my raccoon went!?

YOU SICK BASTARD!!


I prescribe a prehistoric tar enema.
#27
Quote by PaulyVengeance

I prescribe a prehistoric tar enema.

I was literally going to say this exact same thing.

But seriously apply searing hot tar to the affected area. It might be difficult to get it that far into your rectum so I would suggest cutting the affected area open which will also help to relieve the area of excess fluids. Call us in the morning if it worked. That is, if you haven't died.
Quote by SomeoneYouKnew
Your post was the only bright spot in this disgusting piece of thread.

Quote by lexanirider78
You have balls. I like balls....(awkward silence)

Quote by SeveralSpecies
I waited for the rape.

...


...but the rape never came
Last edited by ryan_nadon at Jul 13, 2011,
#28
Quote by ryan_nadon
I was literally going to say this exact same thing.

But seriously apply searing hot tar to the affected area. It might be difficult to get it that far into your rectum so I would suggest cutting the affected area open which will also help to relieve the area of excess fluids. Call us in the morning if it worked. That is, if you haven't died.



I've solved my problem, it was quite an ingenious solution too
ಠ_ಠ
#30
Quote by FireHawk
my right ball is about 1/4 bigger than left but i am not worried just want to know your remedies...

Maybe your left ball shouldn't be so small.
ಥ_ಥ ಠ_ಠ ಠ_ೃ ·ಏ· ಢ_ಢ


E-Married to the sexy DarkConcertine


and Jon777 .


#31
Quote by Twist of fate
I want to be assistant surgeon of Wumbology.



You've completed your study of Wumbology? I hear it's first grade.

I'm personally of the opinion that "He, she, me, wumbo." is the most contentious issue.
I want to read your essays and blogs of the artistic nature!


Art evokes the mystery without which the world would not exist.

- Rene Magritte
#32
Quote by FireHawk
my right ball is about 1/4 bigger than left but i am not worried just want to know your remedies...


Fap. Just make sure all of your ejaculate comes from the larger ball.
Quote by RU Experienced?
Now with 20 percent more Allah!!!

Quote by Borsworth
^^^


Quote by GoldenRose94

that'd be slightly creepy if i didn't find it so amusing.
#34
Quote by abdulalhazred
Fap. Just make sure all of your ejaculate comes from the larger ball.


This. You can acheive this result by squeezing the offending testicle as hard as you can, at the point of ejaculation.
#35
Well if we go that route we'll have to hire someone who specializes in burning wounds until they just stop being wounds.
Quote by RU Experienced?
Now with 20 percent more Allah!!!

Quote by Borsworth
^^^


Quote by GoldenRose94

that'd be slightly creepy if i didn't find it so amusing.
#36
may i be the doctor of prosthetic, robotic body parts, and genetic modification?
ಠ_ಠ
#37
Dr. Seymour "mtshark" Butts, Chief Proctologist reporting in
I pride myself on my humility.
#38
Quote by mike_anderson25
You've completed your study of Wumbology? I hear it's first grade.

I'm personally of the opinion that "He, she, me, wumbo." is the most contentious issue.

You learn the parts of the body in Pre-K, but people go off to study anatomy.

He/She/Me wumbo is actually a tough theory to master

He(she)/Y multiplied by (f) x=Me
______________________________
Me (x)/She+24(25)
Last edited by Twist of fate at Jul 13, 2011,
#39
Dr. House

yeye you all listen to me.
Sell and Promote your music TuneHub!



wy is yer mad at muy gramhar fer?


Quote by jimmyled
jimmybanks youre a genius.


aparently i ar smrt?
Quote by dyingLeper
jimmybanks youre a genius


GO SENS GO
#40
Quote by JimmyBanks6
Dr. House

yeye you all listen to me.


Pfff. Go cure a f*cking cottage. we are people doctors here.
Quote by RU Experienced?
Now with 20 percent more Allah!!!

Quote by Borsworth
^^^


Quote by GoldenRose94

that'd be slightly creepy if i didn't find it so amusing.