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How long should I stay, should I wait
To soak into your skin
To melt, to lace
Into your soul within
'Cause it's such a warm place to be
But there's no space
Just a smile on your face

Oh you seem to be the brightest thing that's on my mind
But everytime I try to taste the shine
I remember you can't hold light
It kills me inside

This empty hole, this void
Is wrapped up in your air
The glow of times that aren't even there
And I'm such a fool for you, I swear
Oh I'm hung up on your bittersweet prose

Oh you seem to be the brightest thing that's on my mind
But everytime I try to taste the shine
I remember you can't hold light
It kills me inside

I'll wait, I'll wait
For you, oh babe
I'll stall the stars
I'll stall my heart
And I'll dive into that smile of your's, a feeling that I can't afford
With anything other than my soul



I went to church. This is what I heard.

It happened in a small town in New York. A boy brought a gun to school and killed 7 children.
Shit. Spit.
dragged across the floor
paints more than
red black and blue,
not quite an IOU
but nothing short of beautiful.

All of the mothers rushed to find out if it was their child. It was somebody's child. It's always somebody's child. The mom went home and stared at her son's unmade bed, at his muddy shoes, at his dirty clothes. She washed the clothes and made the bed. Put the sneakers in the garage on the shelf. It wasn't real. It was a dream. Then the hospital called and asked if they had permission to transplant his organs. She said yes, and his kidneys went to a dentist. His heart went to a minister. Two years later, she found that minister and talked, laughed, and cried with him for hours. And as she was about to leave she cocked her head, stared into his eyes, thought for a second and asked if she could listen to it- if she could hear her son's heart beat one last time. So she pressed her ear up against his chest for hours and heard the most beautiful sound in the world.
And she left
a changed woman.

There was a monk in northern Greece that had a dream of making a pilgrimage to the great city of Jerusalem. There he would walk around the basilica three times and kneel on the earth and the dirt and find God peeking down on him. He saved his money until he was old enough to say he was getting old. Then, he grabbed his cloak and his staff and his bag of coins that would carry him to Israel, but he didn't get very far. He made it half a mile before he saw a tattered beggar with tattered excuses for clothes and a tattered heart. The man asked for help. He had a family. The monk stared into his eyes and thought for a second. Then he gave the man his bag of coins and walked around him three times then knelt. Kissed the earth like a haymarket square but with nothing there.
And he left
a changed man.

I wrote a letter once. It was to somebody who knew me better than she realized, but she didn't realize what she knew. I wrote a letter about a little boy and a little girl who made a tire swing up on a hill somewhere back in the fifties. I wrote a letter about a teenage boy listening to lo-fi tapes in his bedroom for hours. I wrote a letter about a little boy, mid-twenties with his back up against a column that was holding up a hospital in upper New York City. A boy who fell asleep on the subway on the way home. And as the wheels rattled through the veins of the city born to me eighty years ago, my dream went like this.

I would see you like a hand reeled movie
sleeping on a park bench
in a town too small to go unnoticed in.
Waking up from a small hill in Tennessee with our bodies imprinted on it's crest.
A man would ask you if you had ever cried
and you would say yes
but it was red and soon drenched
in whiskey to help the pain
and save some face.
Save some for me, you'd say to your slipping hand
but it was already gone to your veins and the floor and a little in your jeans.
You hadn't hesitated, you just hadn't thought of stopping
And you would think of whether or not
you should have told him all of this.
And whether it was right to lie about such important things
But it wouldn't be important enough to think about until later.
When you would have time
and a place to sleep
that wasn't so quiet
and so lonely. A place with more people,
where nobody cared that you were there,
on their park benches,
on their minds.
A place in Andalucía with other people like you.

I crawled out of the steam into the lower east-side
opened my eyes
walked around the block three times
and fell to my knees at the mercy of a dark alleyway
Whatever comes out can have me
I thought
And I kissed the pavement
let an insult bounce by
And I thought about dreams
of us taking a steam ship to Spain
and worrying about not taking in the sunset
for as long as it was
but it would only get better until it disappears
and dreams of sleeping in Seville
and leaving everyone else behind
but now your bound here. You’re
buried here
you’re etched in stone here
Embossed in the city here.
Lady Liberty once said she welcomed me
But I don't know if that means
I'm allowed to leave
it wouldn't be the first time
but this time
I just wouldn't tell her that I wouldn't be coming back.

Maybe it's better that she never knows.
Off to Andalucía And I Lose You



A tale of a love forsaken
That still remains
Although cold and naked
Let's cure this disease
Suffocate it before it even breathes
Here on a bed of roses I lay
Wounded, scarred, and betrayed

Help me bring this to life
Why did it have to die

Walk with me in Eden
Let this not be our fate
You hold the keys
Now open the gate
In Hell we lie
When Heaven's always been
In front of our eyes

All we have left are ashes
Thrown in the wind
And it's over before it begins
I warmed myself on the flames of desire
I enjoy nothing more
Than burning on your lust
Let's unearth what once was

Help me bring this to life
Why did it have to die

Walk with me in Eden
Let this not be our fate
You hold the keys
Now open the gate
In Hell we lie
When Heaven's always been
In front of our eyes



VERSE 1:
It’s time to start again, there has to be an end
Stuck in this place so deaf to everything
You try to make me hear, the words that make me sear
But inside I have grown cold and numb
This other part of me has a mind of its own
It’s alright one day I’ll learn to fly

CHORUS:
These thoughts that terrify
They control our lives
Can’t seem to change our minds
There is a reason why
It’s just hard to find
To overcome you have to try

VERSE 2:
So strong when in the light, but dark when out of sight
I can’t stop thinking about the way it is
Oh no it’s not enough, the thought is way too much
For me right now I’ve never seen you fail
The gift that you have given to me
This fear fades fast but we are never free

CHORUS:
These thoughts that terrify
They control our lives
Can’t seem to change our minds
There is a reason why
It’s just hard to find
To overcome you have to try

BRIDGE:
Lay in bed, no sleep you’re trapped in your head
When it’s gone the time slips so slowly
Plead and beg, till the words are stale and dead
You might start to believe that it won’t change

CHORUS:
These thoughts that terrify
They control our lives
Can’t seem to change our minds
There is a reason why
It’s just hard to find
To overcome you have to try



Melting In The Jackpot

Slipping on cracks, you’ve found in yourself,
falling back on words you never knew were true.
But florescent is different from incandescent,
incandescent is just half an incantation away from descent.

Maybe even decent,
is this new light to behold the bee hive.
Play your cards wrong and you might learn to bee-have
in a world where it only matters to be and have,
through the eyes of dainty deities.

A looking glass of transparent gold
that tells me where your heart is.
Somewhere between the Cardiac
and arctic arrest,
where it bleeds,
where the home is.

Sweet as apples
keeping the doctor away.
Please don’t say
that I have one more day to live;
I’d rather die
not doing what I’ve always wanted,
instead I’ll haunt it.

Ghosts of your past like Ebenezer,
tell me,
“that you’ll end up like Timmy.”
Belittled, in one negative integer
below sea level,
can you see me leveled?
Adding one line for each one of mine you’ve chewed.

Luckily I can only count to 7 (7 7), staying one step ahead of you.
Today I feel electric grey
I hope tomorrow, neon black
Last edited by Ganoosh at Jul 17, 2011,