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#2
I hate writing poems.
I rather chug a bottle of jeroboam.
I think the guy above me is bored,
so I'm going to break his spinal cord.

I suck at this.
#3
Scrub a dub dub
3 men in a tub
cherryketie takes showers with dead men in her tub
She is too exhausted to cut them up
So she stores them in the bathtub with disinfectant
Quote by RU Experienced?
Now with 20 percent more Allah!!!

Quote by Borsworth
^^^


Quote by GoldenRose94

that'd be slightly creepy if i didn't find it so amusing.
#4
abdulalhazred
I don't know what the **** that
means. what the **** man.
Quote by Ur all $h1t
I furiously masturbate on public transportation.
#7
weorge is a UGer
his name is not Peter
George is his name
He feels no pain
He fought a kangaroo
and made a dog go "moo"
cat
#8
Weorge was both sad and alone,
He had plenty of friends - on his phone,

None really talked to him,
Some say he appeared dim -
Even his kin.

But, one day,
Without gods say,

Weorge rose from the swamps of his existence -
And in one single instance,

He posted some shit in the pit.

You Dont Know Me

I have 10 Anarchy Points - I also have 8 Mythology points!

Peavey Generation EXP Custom White
Yamaha 120S Black
Korg AX5G
Digitech Whammy
Zvex Fuzz Factory
Boss OS2

Quote by mrfinkle213
This man has brains.

Quote by CoreysMonster
Banned for indirect reference.
#9
Anthony 1991, had an immense purple bum
It pulsated at night, smelt of marmite
And had an illicit affair with his mum
My Gear:
BC Rich Gunslinger Retro Blade
Vintage V100 Paradise + SD Alnico Pro Slash APH-2's
1963 Burns Short Scale Jazz Guitar
Dean Performer Florentine
Bugera 6260
Orange Micro Terror + cab
Digitech Bad Monkey
Zoom G2G
#11
Here's a very avant-garde poem for you:

Snap!
Juxtaposition.
The flowers are blue,
yet they are not.
I'm just like the Jonas Brothers,

I'm no longer relevant and write mediocre music.


#12
RetroGunslinger, is also a bumslinger
Likes smelling bums

I'm gonna go hide now..in shame.
To be vulnerable is needed most of all, if you intend to truly fall apart.


Quote by due 07
You have no idea how much I don't want to tell stories about my mother's vaginal slime on the internet.


I make music sometimes.
#13
RetroGunslinger had a big holster.

He also had lots of ammunition,
And he was a man with a mission.

His bandolier was slung across his chest,
This man tried to sleep - but got no rest.

His dreams tormented him,
His mission was clear,
It was all that he held dear.

His day finally came,
He drew his Navy Colt,
And dropped his bolt,

In the end, it just goes to show Retro Gunslinger's,
Are nothing but giant mingers.

You Dont Know Me

I have 10 Anarchy Points - I also have 8 Mythology points!

Peavey Generation EXP Custom White
Yamaha 120S Black
Korg AX5G
Digitech Whammy
Zvex Fuzz Factory
Boss OS2

Quote by mrfinkle213
This man has brains.

Quote by CoreysMonster
Banned for indirect reference.
#14
Gorelord666 had a box made of sticks,
He also had a house made of bricks.

His brain was held together by a toothpick,
It's what made his poem so shit.

I jokes!
You Dont Know Me

I have 10 Anarchy Points - I also have 8 Mythology points!

Peavey Generation EXP Custom White
Yamaha 120S Black
Korg AX5G
Digitech Whammy
Zvex Fuzz Factory
Boss OS2

Quote by mrfinkle213
This man has brains.

Quote by CoreysMonster
Banned for indirect reference.
#15
Anthony '91
His father wanted a boy
So when Anythony came there was joy
But he caught anthony with a joint
So his father looked down
and with a big f-king frown muttered
"Son, I am disappoint."
Quote by RU Experienced?
Now with 20 percent more Allah!!!

Quote by Borsworth
^^^


Quote by GoldenRose94

that'd be slightly creepy if i didn't find it so amusing.
#16
abdulalhazred is a tool
who is uneducated
and needs to go to school

his sig may be dull
i dont think he trolls
and his poems can insue lulz


.....i tried
Quote by kaptkegan
Don't think I've ever been sigged.


I pretty much never leave the drug thread anymore.
#17
hmm a poetry thread... the poem i wrote yesterday in the "Banned!" thread seems appropriate for this thread, though a couple of the parts about changing the topic of the thread don't apply here, but the rest works fine.

Quote by theogonia777
it should seem that this thread has changed subject,
from a discussion on our bans to prose,
crappy, half-assed, uncreative at that,
pretty bad as far as poetry goes.

this thread was great, a lot of fun, for real,
but now you guys had to go and ruin,
the thread with your silly, poorly done rhymes,
you all have no idea what your doin'.

you guys have no sense of meter,
rhyme schemes as fresh as month old bread,
you guys need some new tricks for sure,
your poems are better unread.

learn some rhythm,
learn good rhyme schemes,
your skills is seems,

are quite lacking,
you're all slacking,
that is for sure.

it's pathetic,
i'm quite concerned,
you all should learn,

to write for real,
with soul and feel,
words clean and pure.

if you're going to turn,
the direction of a thread,
get it through your silly head,
that you've all got to learn,

how to write like a boss,
and not like some sissy,
girly little prissy,
if not than it's your loss.


i feel kind of bad about skipping Metallicuh (maybe...), so the next person can skip me and write a poem about him.
There's no such thing; there never was. Where I am going you cannot follow me now.
#18
Quote by Metallicuh
abdulalhazred is a tool
who is uneducated
and needs to go to school

his sig may be dull
i dont think he trolls
and his poems can insue lulz


.....i tried

That's Metallicuh.
He probably likes Metallica.
He can't spell for shit and has 2 sigs.

He says "..... i tried", I say he lied.
Although, for liking rock, he may get my pardon.
I'm sick of all
Your hypocrites
Holding me at bay
And I don't need
Your sympathy
To get me through the day


LONG LIVE DREAM
#19
EriX29
Look behind
I'm watching you
Yes it's true
I am still
At your sill.
RIP Adam
#20
SexyLikeAPig
or at least that's what he claims;
he could be Dick Cheney
and his text would look the same.

But I'll guess I'll take your word,
about your aesthetic gift from god
but just now at this point
I find it rather odd

That I assumed sexy like a pig
is a good thing to be;
are pigs actually sexy?
What does this say about me?

I think I've said too much,
I think I'll take my bow
Because at this point I'm really rambling
and I've said more than I should allow.
#21
Herby 90 slaps basses
But he also slaps asses
I'm not sure if what I'm writing is true
But I really wanted to write something for you
Last edited by Guilher at Jul 17, 2011,
#22
Your name suggests
You are well seasoned
Has anyone tried to eat you?
With them, I hope, you reasoned

Did you talk to them?
Did you write them a poem?
For your prose
Would certainly show 'em

That cannibalism
Is a crime
You would show them
With your impressive rhyme

EDIT:

You ninja'd me
Making me look like a fool
Oh! world
Why are you so cruel?
RIP Adam
Last edited by SexyLikeAPig at Jul 17, 2011,
#23
With the sex-appeal of a creature with twisted tail
Over evil this person will prevail
Resembling a pink creature with a socket-nose
A pink tail sticking out of his hose
Now I wonder where the plugholes in his face are for,
Perhaps a place for the tail of his fellow boar
The strange ways of making love when pink
Will make tails in nose sink.
Quote by PsiGuy60
Banned because f*ck you Hebriqui.
I'd been going for a month or so.


Quote by Peres.T.Peanut
oh **** you
#24
Quote by Hebriqui
With the sex-appeal of a creature with twisted tail
Over evil this person will prevail
Resembling a pink creature with a socket-nose
A pink tail sticking out of his hose
Now I wonder where the plugholes in his face are for,
Perhaps a place for the tail of his fellow boar
The strange ways of making love when pink
Will make tails in nose sink.



Here is a poem
For he who hits his head
Do you perhaps
Want to lie in my bed?

But wait!
For you are already there
How ever did you enter
My deep sexy lair?

Your income comes from
Being the fool
Are those who laugh
Being cruel?

But enough
With these queries
All this asking
Is making me weary


EDIT: I just realised I rhymed the same words for Guilher and Hebriqui.
RIP Adam
Last edited by SexyLikeAPig at Jul 17, 2011,
#25
sexylikeapig this one is for you!

I would like to eat your bannana hands
I don't know your favorite bands
your poems are long
they remind me of a song.
Quote by kaptkegan
Don't think I've ever been sigged.


I pretty much never leave the drug thread anymore.
#26
Quote by Metallicuh
sexylikeapig this one is for you!

I would like to eat your bannana hands
I don't know your favorite bands
your poems are long
they remind me of a song.



You like Metallica
While I do not
I like you avatar

But I respect your choices
For they are from your heart
After-all, music is just noises

I am touched
By your compliment
Oh so much

Do keep at
The learning of piano
Or sound like a strangled cat

You live in Funky Town
Tell me
What are the sights, scents, sounds?


I'm glad my poems are like songs
Just for you
I made this one long
RIP Adam
#27
In true teenage style, epitomising
Fans who blindly follow rising
Stars
We see "Metallicuh", alas, too late
To be forerunner in the peak and fate of
Metallica - the one and only
Metal and Kirk Hammett's alimony (lol)
To sleep at night I avoid this band
And wait until Enter Sandman

(On the spot poems are hard)
Music is an art form that celebrates potential. So long as you're looking for it, you'll always find it.
#28
Quote by Mr.Pink101
In true teenage style, epitomising
Fans who blindly follow rising
Stars
We see "Metallicuh", alas, too late
To be forerunner in the peak and fate of
Metallica - the one and only
Metal and Kirk Hammett's alimony (lol)
To sleep at night I avoid this band
And wait until Enter Sandman

(On the spot poems are hard)



Dear Mr.Pink says:
"Instant poems are hard"
But he must learn
To write from the heart

He hails from
From deep down-under
See those horizons?
We set forth into the yonder!

Pink in name
Pink in soul
101
Knows how to roll
RIP Adam
#29
There was a swine, so soft and fine
as Chinese silken robes.
He posted in the thread of poems,
and for him, this I wrote.
His hands in yellow, jaundiced not,
bananas, so I say!
He'll kill you if you miss the beat,
and falsely claim plantains.
I walk the line between fantasy and reality. One is more fun, the other is where the food is.
#30
There was a man from Tennessee
Who would try to poke every girl he would see
But alas due to fate.
He always was late
Sadly Cap'n Braid
Never got laid.
#31
400 pants stores remain in steady streams of business
Within a 1 mile radius of the gentleman above
Because a single glance lain on his manly figure
Will instantly cause you to fall in love
If you are unfortunate enough to hear
Him speak well then you'll do a funny dance
For the voice is far more awesome than Chuck Norris
and is guaranteed to make you cream your pants
Music is an art form that celebrates potential. So long as you're looking for it, you'll always find it.
Last edited by Mr.Pink101 at Jul 17, 2011,
#32
Quote by CodeMonk
There was a man from Tennessee
Who would try to poke every girl he would see
But alas due to fate.
He always was late
Sadly Cap'n Braid
Never got laid.


There was a monk who sought the rush
of spreading falsities.
He thought it witty, thought it grand,
to aim his tricks at me.
Alas, I say he missed the point
I feel should now be made,
Cap'n Braid's a poet, sir,
and poets always get laid.
I walk the line between fantasy and reality. One is more fun, the other is where the food is.
#33
I concur with Cap'n Braid, for in his wisdom
His booty contains many pearls of truth
This chest of golden dubloons makes me yearn
For games of Buccaneers from in my youth
A poet has a way to speak from pillows
And their dirty talk is second to none
So next time you've got a poet in your bedroom
Turn off the lights and then you'll have some fun
Music is an art form that celebrates potential. So long as you're looking for it, you'll always find it.
#34
Quote by Cap'n Braid
There was a monk who sought the rush
of spreading falsities.
He thought it witty, thought it grand,
to aim his tricks at me.
Alas, I say he missed the point
I feel should now be made,
Cap'n Braid's a poet, sir,
and poets always get laid.



Braid, you grand old wit!
Never out of your mouth
Spouts vile spit!

No! Instead
A poem
To conquer this thread!


Quote by Mr.Pink101
I concur with Cap'n Braid, for in his wisdom
His booty contains many pearls of truth
This chest of golden dubloons makes me yearn
For games of Buccaneers from in my youth
A poet has a way to speak from pillows
And their dirty talk is second to none
So next time you've got a poet in your bedroom
Turn off the lights and then you'll have some fun



Winking, in comes The Pink
A pirate, a poet
The many guises people can take
Really makes me think

Are we not just hats
Disguised as helmets?
RIP Adam
Last edited by SexyLikeAPig at Jul 17, 2011,
#35
Mr. Pink ten one
Are you referring to cunt?
I like cunt a lot.
May the Force be with You.
Carmel is hawt
#36
Quote by Mr.Pink101
I concur with Cap'n Braid, for in his wisdom
His booty contains many pearls of truth
This chest of golden dubloons makes me yearn
For games of Buccaneers from in my youth
A poet has a way to speak from pillows
And their dirty talk is second to none
So next time you've got a poet in your bedroom
Turn off the lights and then you'll have some fun


This royal asshat knows it well,
but there's one thing he got off.
When the poet tastes his muse,
the lights never go off.
Windows open, door ajar,
so all may see his skill,
and when he sobers up he'll cry,
like all good poets will.

Quote by Oblivion_Rps
Mr. Pink ten one
Are you referring to cunt?
I like cunt a lot.


A haiku for you,
Oblivion RPS
I hope you like it.
I walk the line between fantasy and reality. One is more fun, the other is where the food is.
Last edited by Cap'n Braid at Jul 17, 2011,
#37
Quote by Cap'n Braid


A haiku for you,
Oblivion RPS
I hope you like it.



Once again the Cap'n shines
A torch so bright
It's only seen by the divine

Oh! for his poems
With beauty they are full
Dear Braid
Makes me feel quite dull
RIP Adam
#38
Quote by SexyLikeAPig
Once again the Cap'n shines
A torch so bright
It's only seen by the divine

Oh! for his poems
With beauty they are full
Dear Braid
Makes me feel quite dull


Oh sexy pig, please do not fret,
you're talent's true, I bet.
The secret is to cast a net,
and let the words fall in.
And should you only catch a shoe,
don't let frustrations brew,
remember shoes are useful too,
and always rhyme with you.
I walk the line between fantasy and reality. One is more fun, the other is where the food is.
#39
hmm a poem about cap'n braid
a dude who just wants to get laid
i bet i'll get ninja'd
before he gets fingered
so i think i'll just sit in a cave

damn that fails :L
Soy un perdedor.


Sans.
#40
Cap'n Braid
I bring to thee a french maid
To help you get laid.



EDIT: FFFFFFFFFUUUUUUCCCCCKKKKIIIIIING NIIIIIIIIIIINJAAASS!! *shakes fist*
You are now using UG Black.
You are now using UG Classic.


Listening to: New York Voices, as well as the new Vulfpeck record (fuck it's so good)


You throw like a girl. A girl who is great at baseball and has a fiery passion for the sport.
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