#1
Ok so my girlfriend has been gone for over a month, visiting family. I haven't done much at all but I told her I wrote a song. I DID write the lyrics and chords for it, but the lyrics don't work out so right and I need to fix it up! She returns in 8 days and I want to surprise her with it!


The chords are 4 simple chords:


Cm (8-10-10-8-8-8)

G#/Ab (4-6-6-5-4-4)

D#/Eb (6-6-8-8-8-6)

A#/Bb (6-8-8-7-6-6)


Strum pattern is a simple: v-v-V-x


The lyrics are quite nice:

NONE OF THIS USES DISTORTION, DELAY OR REVERB EFFECTS


LOVE STREET by Never Knows Best.


Somewhere along the street of Love,
You were walking on through the center,
and I was walking on the sidewalk.
But we looked at each other..

Verse 2

Something we could only see.
Inside, our eyes. No lies.
I was afraid to talk. So I walked, to you.
You said you were a creep.
and I said, "Everything's unique."

Verse 3

We walked to the park,
Past broken stones,
That were of a broken heart.
And we sung a little song..
We didn't care how bad our voices were.

Verse 4 (There needs to be a new chord change here for Verse 4!)

I'll be the nail,
You'll be the wood.
We'll build a house,
as big as our hearts.
And if that wolf
blows down our house,
The wreckage will fall on him.
and not us.

Verse 5 (Slower paced.)

So we put our scars,
In a little jar.
Don't tear us apart.
You're in my arms.
And if we' ever become broken apart,
We'll still be close in our hearts.

Verse 6

Baby, you're a piece of art.
A beautiful heart,
You're so damn far.
So let's sing a song..
About how close we are.

Verse 7

We're on Love street.
Let's walk down the creek.
With our little feet.
To a little peak.
Called harmony.

Verse 8

Baby, you're a piece of art.
A beautiful heart.
You're so damn far.
So let's sing this song..
About how close we are.


I'm thinking of putting a small short solo here that ends with Cm chord.

Somewhere I feel like I should push this verse somewhere in there:

"We climb our hearts like mountains,
We drive our skin like crazies,
We love eachother til we run away
From this coma in our heads.
But baby, there's nothing in this world,
That could change how much I feel." - Never Knows Best.
Last edited by Never KnowsBest at Jul 18, 2011,
#2
Quote by Never KnowsBest
Ok so my girlfriend has been gone for over a month, visiting family. I haven't done much at all but I told her I wrote a song. I DID write the lyrics and chords for it, but the lyrics don't work out so right and I need to fix it up! She returns in 8 days and I want to surprise her with it!


The chords are 4 simple chords:


Cm (8-10-10-8-8-8)

G#/Ab (4-6-6-5-4-4)

D#/Eb (6-6-8-8-8-6)

A#/Bb (6-8-8-7-6-6)


Strum pattern is a simple: v-v-V-x


The lyrics are quite nice:

NONE OF THIS USES DISTORTION, DELAY OR REVERB EFFECTS


LOVE STREET by Never Knows Best.


Somewhere along the street of Love,
You were walking on through the center,
and I was walking on the sidewalk.
But we looked at each other..

Verse 2

Something we could only see.
Inside, our eyes. No lies.
I was afraid to talk. So I walked, to you.
You said you were a creep.
and I said, "Everything's unique."

Verse 3

We walked to the park,
Past broken stones,
That were of a broken heart.
And we sung a little song..
We didn't care how bad our voices were.

Verse 4 (There needs to be a new chord change here for Verse 4!)

I'll be the nail,
You'll be the wood.
We'll build a house,
as big as our hearts.
And if that wolf
blows down our house,
The wreckage will fall on him.
and not us.

Verse 5 (Slower paced.)

So we put our scars,
In a little jar.
Don't tear us apart.
You're in my arms.
And if we' ever become broken apart,
We'll still be close in our hearts.

Verse 6

Baby, you're a piece of art.
A beautiful heart,
You're so damn far.
So let's sing a song..
About how close we are.

Verse 7

We're on Love street.
Let's walk down the creek.
With our little feet.
To a little peak.
Called harmony.

Verse 8

Baby, you're a piece of art.
A beautiful heart.
You're so damn far.
So let's sing this song..
About how close we are.


I'm thinking of putting a small short solo here that ends with Cm chord.

Somewhere I feel like I should push this verse somewhere in there:

"We climb our hearts like mountains,
We drive our skin like crazies,
We love eachother til we run away
From this coma in our heads.
But baby, there's nothing in this world,
That could change how much I feel." - Never Knows Best.



You should make a breakdown out of the bit about mountains, chuck some synths in too. N like have a quote before the breakdown like: "****ING BITCH" or "THIS IS WHERE YOU DIEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!"
#3
Quote by arcticmiller
You should make a breakdown out of the bit about mountains, chuck some synths in too. N like have a quote before the breakdown like: "****ING BITCH" or "THIS IS WHERE YOU DIEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!"


I despise Screamo, Metal, and Hiphop/Rap.
I also do not use words like that in a song.
I've been playing guitar for 8 years,
I'm not like Bruno Mars, I'm not like Crap Veiled Transvestites or Fags on the dance floor. -.-

I'm also not a homophobic.

Also I can not yell or raise my voice too loudly.

I'd really love to finish this song greatly for my girlfriend. I been with her for 12 years. :}
#4
Quote by Never KnowsBest

I'm not like Bruno Mars, I'm not like Crap Veiled Transvestites or Fags on the dance floor. -.-

I'm also not a homophobic.


Mmkay
#5
Well the lyrics are really nice and so are the chords. When playing that D# be sure to hit that high A# on the 1st string. I use the higher strings alot when playing such as a Am chord. I would finger the power chord but with my 2nd finger on the G string playing a C note with the 2nd and 1st ringing out. Sounds nice, but you cant do it here.

Also for that chord chang you needed. Do the D# to Cm to a A# on the 13th fret (Basic 5string major chording) to an F chord on the 13th fret. Or to the G on the 5th string.

Or also, go a very traditional way. Try the D# to A# to Cm to a G#. Or D# to Cm to A# to G#.

Hope I could help.
#6
Quote by Deathro
Well the lyrics are really nice and so are the chords. When playing that D# be sure to hit that high A# on the 1st string. I use the higher strings alot when playing such as a Am chord. I would finger the power chord but with my 2nd finger on the G string playing a C note with the 2nd and 1st ringing out. Sounds nice, but you cant do it here.

Also for that chord chang you needed. Do the D# to Cm to a A# on the 13th fret (Basic 5string major chording) to an F chord on the 13th fret. Or to the G on the 5th string.

Or also, go a very traditional way. Try the D# to A# to Cm to a G#. Or D# to Cm to A# to G#.

Hope I could help.



Thank you, it helps quite a lot. :}
#7
Your very welcome Thats basically the only thing I know how to do well hahah. And im surprised at the 12 years. Im only 3 years older than that and thats a very long time.
Now go impress your wonderful woman and hope you two can go on for how many verses this has multiplied by the years youve been together.

Nothing is more precious than a song acknowledging your love and relationship to another. Money and jewelry can only buy happiness for a day but a song can for a lifetime if it is remembered by those it has included
#8
Quote by Deathro
go a very traditional way. Try the D# to A# to Cm to a G#. Or D# to Cm to A# to G#.

Hope I could help.

This works well, do this.
#9
u should sing this song to ur g/f an purpose to her w/ a ring at the end of the song
#10
Quote by jod23
u should sing this song to ur g/f an purpose to her w/ a ring at the end of the song


Oooh yeah.. Not yet. Too expensive lol. ^^"
#11
Quote by Deathro
Your very welcome Thats basically the only thing I know how to do well hahah. And im surprised at the 12 years. Im only 3 years older than that and thats a very long time.
Now go impress your wonderful woman and hope you two can go on for how many verses this has multiplied by the years youve been together.

Nothing is more precious than a song acknowledging your love and relationship to another. Money and jewelry can only buy happiness for a day but a song can for a lifetime if it is remembered by those it has included


Oh, 1 more problem sorry to bother you, uhhh... The intro... The first 2 verses. I can't seem to fit those verses in a musical sense. I was thinking of piano but I suck at piano. Maybe give me a little simple slow pace scale or something to play with those words before it actually kicks in with the 3rd verse and the chords. Lol..
#12
Oy...

V1:
"Street of Love" comes across as hackneyed. If it were surrounded by vibrant writing otherwise, it could work (The Pogues' "Rain Street" is an example of an obvious name forgivable because of strong writing). "But" implies that people in the street can't make eye contact with people on the sidewalk. Change it to "Then" or "And." The syllable count still works, and it's less awkward that way. Also, is there any reason she's in the middle and you're on the sidelines? Flesh that out.

V2:
The rhyming sloppily stitches this together. Lose the comma after "walked" because its presence doesn't do anything. Also, "Something we could only see" is too vague and means that the perception was solely sight-based, and it appears as though that's not what you're after here.

V3:
"Sang." OK... You mentioned Love Street, so it's fine that you reference the broken stones/hearts thing. Remember: that keeps things vague. Don't make the street too personal. What song? What kind of song? Cannibal Corpse? Misfits? Ween? Weezer? nevershoutnever?

V4:
You're mixing metaphors to your detriment. Where does the wolf fit in aside from an obvious reference? I can suffer the house since you built this up around streets. But adding the Three Little Pigs? That's a stretch that strains. And the nail/wood idea is oddly asexually sexual. Hm.

V5:
More forced rhyming. That's all this part says. You abandon the street metaphor again to another ill-conceived venture.

V6:
More rhyming for the sake of rhyming while expressing vague feelings. This can be cut completely.

V7:
Ibid, but kudos for returning to the general theme of roads.

V8:
See V6.

At this point, stick with a theme or reference it passingly. Either go balls-out with Love Street (and its accompanying imagery which is up to you to provide) or tread around it. Don't stop writing. Write more. Write better.

Fun fact: The note A in America isn't the same pitch as the note A in Germany.
I am a fake mountain.