#1
I wrote this at 2 in the morning. Needs some work but the basic idea is here.

[chorus]
my mind is shattered
bits and shards widely scattered
I'll never find all the pieces
I can already hear the voice of god

[verse 1]
Descending into eternal sleep
Watching the faces that mourn and weep
hoping the end is drawing near
But always I cower and shake with fear

[chorus]
my mind is shattered
bits and shards widely scattered
I'll never find all the pieces
I can already hear the voice of god

[verse 2]
But in the darkness there is hope
I lose my grip on the burning rope
falling in that eternal sleep
watching the faces that mourn and weep

[instrumental bridge]

[Fade to end]
Descending into eternal sleep
Watching the faces that mourn and weep
Last edited by phayzze at Jul 18, 2011,
#2
Reads very metal, with all the references to suffering and god...

just my 2 cents worth.
Yamaha ERG 121
Yamaha F370TBS
Yamaha GA-10

NOOB KIT FTW

-------------------------

Lyrical Insanity:

Chasing Shadows
#3
Wow, you can arrange your words well. Have you tried to record it roughly?
Any mp3 post?
#4
Quote by prudence12
Wow, you can arrange your words well. Have you tried to record it roughly?
Any mp3 post?

Thanks! Haven't finished working on the melody yet, so no recording yet.
Last edited by phayzze at Jul 18, 2011,
#5
It would work excellently as a metal song! The lyrics look pretty solid to me.
#6
the lyrics u presented remind me of a thunder storm deep in the sky. the chaotic weather, ur mind, and god interferring with each other.