I have to give you an A for effort. Nice try. You need a little more control of your voice. You were also a little pitchy at times. I think if you keep practicing, that you'll improve. Not trying to be mean, just honest.

Best of luck!!!
Absolutely fantabulous, you should try out for American Idol!
Treble>Epiphone Prophecy EX - MXR micro Amp - MXR Blue Box - MXR Fullbore - MXR Noise Clamp - Vox AD30VT
Bass>Ibanez BTB505 - MXR Blowtorch - MXR D.I. - Peavey MaxBass 700 - Peavey TVX410
Thank you for the feedback. It is really appreciated. I will definitely keep practicing and keep all of you updated!