soft skin, she's always cold
died her hair red now it's a dark purple glow
she likes harry potter but only since the hype
says we will move to alaska but i know we won't
she can never tell when i'm joking and i think i know
when she's very quiet exactly what is wrong
and she always says 'i wish you were here'
and i tell her what i think she wants to hear
maybe she is just something to do when i'm bored
if so i feel sorry for anyone i ever do truly love.
I loved it, especially the first line. It was a very direct way of saying you're in a relationship that you don't like, but you elaborated on it quite well. I also liked the third line a lot.
No real crit here, besides it being pretty short. Also,
"she can never tell when i'm joking and i think i know
when she's very quiet exactly what is wrong"
Could be changed to something more poetic. I'd like to see a continuation of this
If you ever need something to do, you can crit Are There Accidents in Heaven in my sig
Quote by turd_ferguson
[0:17] If my parents knew I was part of a group who celebrated christmas by drinking cough syrup they would probably cry

WEATHERER, the greatest band ever.
Last edited by benx3000 at Jul 20, 2011,
this actually had great flow to it; a nice, smooth read. the subtle rhymes here and there were also very refreshing, especially the "cold", "glow", and "know" rhymes. As for the content, I loved the first line as well as the play on died/dyed. A little unsure about the harry potter line because i'm not sure it adds a whole lot to the piece. The dyed hair and alaska add more to the character of this girl than that line does, in my opinion, so I'd suggest taking a look at that if you were to edit this.

This touched on a slightly newer topic for you I feel, and that was refreshing to see. Well done.
here, My Dear, here it is
This was a pretty brave piece to write. I feel like i've been here and didn't write about it for fear of it sounding patronising towards the girl in question. You did well.