#1
This is just a new track I've been working on for my band, Live Another Day.
It's still rough in parts (some of the transitions to the clean riffs and the outro) but it's a pretty good track I think.

Feel free to take a look and let me know what you think, and C4C of course.
Attachments:
LADbreakdownsong.gp5
#2
It's like Meshuggah mixed with the most KSE songs - amazing for me, no critics, but if you intend to play it with your band, you have to be incredibly tight, which you probably are Grats on a great song! Record it and post a demo.
#3
7/8 and 9/8... sounds an awful lot like two bars of 4/4.
My songs are all located here .
Feel free to drop by and crit a song.
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Colossus
Last edited by frankibo at Jul 21, 2011,
#4
Quote by frankibo
sounds awful.


Fix'd

no offence OP but this was as generic as it gets. the breakdowns were uninteresting, and the guitar work in general was poop. it started to get better at bar 70 but everything pervious to that was poop. this part at bar 70 got repetitive to listen to after a while. bar 118 had a nice riff. but it got ruined by the intro breakdown coming in again.
#5
Quote by frankibo
7/8 and 9/8... sounds an awful lot like two bars of 4/4.


It does, doesn't it?
Other than that though, the intro is super boring, can't stand it, sorry. The melody at bar 34 should come in a whole lot sooner to make it less boring (plus, you do want a nice intro to catch the listener's interest), the breakdown that comes after that is just.. boring, I have no words..

Bar 70 and on however, love it. Then the boring breakdown stuff comes in again and ruins the song again <3
#6
just like the other guys said the begining and the breakdown aren't very good (also I don't enjoy very much that kind of music) but after bar 70 it's much more melodic.
I think maybe you can split this song. The parts are way different styles. If you work on each part by separate you'll get two better songs instead of one strange one.

______________
C4C. check my song out. different style but I think you'll like it
https://www.ultimate-guitar.com/forum/showthread.php?t=1464499
#7
Quote by frankibo
7/8 and 9/8... sounds an awful lot like two bars of 4/4.


yeah it does but they have very different rhythmic make ups dont they? 7/8 is 1 2 3 4 1 2 3 where has 9/8 is 1 2 3 1 2 3 1 2 3
#8
Quote by dylann
yeah it does but they have very different rhythmic make ups dont they? 7/8 is 1 2 3 4 1 2 3 where has 9/8 is 1 2 3 1 2 3 1 2 3


Yeah you're right, Sequoia Throne has a riff that genuinely uses 7/8 and 9/8 next to each other without it actually being 4/4.
In this song however, the 1/8 note rest in the 9/8 bar just after 7/8 bar makes it obvious it's just two bars of 4/4.
My songs are all located here .
Feel free to drop by and crit a song.
Leave a link and I'll return a crit



Colossus