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#1
What are some of the dumbest questions you have been asked, heard asked, or asked someone else? Did you (or the person you asked) have a smartass comeback?

I might as well start this off with the inspiration for this thread: My sister (who will be going into her second year of High School) was watching a World War 2 documentary earlier, and asked me "Who's this Churchill guy? Was he the President?"

She has also asked me "Who's Hitler?" when she was studying WW2 in school a few months ago. Why she didn't know by then and why she couldn't just look it up in her book I have no idea, but asking that made me a bit worried about her...
#2
This one time, this person didn't know as much as me.


So I belittled the shit out of them.


That's the last time they'll ever be unknowledgeable.
#3
Told someone I listen rock music.

She: "What is rock?"
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#4
Apparently, your sister was too busy being distracted to actually learn basic things like who Churchill and Hitler were. However, that aside...the current public education system really doesn't do shit to facilitate true learning.
Last edited by crazysam23_Atax at Jul 21, 2011,
#5
I have this friend. He's pretty stupid. But on occasion it turns out the does know something that the other person doesn't (or so he thinks). And he just turns into such a dickwad. His tones changes and he's like all "For your information, bla bla bla something, stupid!!"

I don't make snide remarks at dumb questions from friends. Well sometimes, but just funny ones, not the smartass ones.

With people I don't like however, not so much a smartass comment, but I just discretely let them now that I think he's an idiot and I don't like him.
Last edited by Shinami at Jul 21, 2011,
#6
I was heading into a grocery store and heard a delightful exchange between a lady and her husband as they got out of their car. She points towards the east and says "honey, if that's the horizon over there...", turns and points towards the west and says "then what do they call that over there?"

One of the funniest things I've ever heard.
#7
Happened to my friends wife.... Guy in bar, "How about you just sit on my face?" ....Friends wife, "Why, is your nose bigger than your dick?" My friends had overheard it as he was coming out of the toilet and was going to kick the guy's ass until his wife sent him away, tail tucked, with that remark.
#8
"are french people fond of their children?"

apprentice fans, anyone? one of the most bizzare things i've ever heard, that.

anyway... no, where i live, in west london, you get used to questions like that, smartass remarks get you nowhere.

although, i would add, smartass remarks probably get you nowhere in any part of the world. it just makes you a dick, and usually means you have an inferiority complex
#10
Customer: Excuse me, but why is the door to your theater locked? How can anyone get in to watch the movie?
Me: Mam, that's the supply closet...
Sail upon the open skies
Last edited by angusfan16 at Jul 21, 2011,
#12
I told my friends that all the Borders are closing down. He replied "Why would they do that? Now all the Mexicans are going to invade."
1.) I can kind of understand how he thought national borders instead of Borders books and music
2.)Mexicans invade? We clearly have military superiority over them.
#13
Watching District 9 with my mother. About 10 minutes in she asks 'Is this based on a true story?'
#14
In 10th grade European History we were watching some kind of History Channel documentary on the black plague, and there were little snippets of scenes of peasants being sick and what not. This girl asks; "Is this real footage?" The teacher, who was usually a smartass, just looked at her with a combination of shock and disappoint.

The same teacher was one of the football coaches, had a little drawing from his daughter by his desk that said "Coach". The same girl as above once asked him why he had a picture that said "Co-aché", and he told her it was Spanish for dad. And she believed it.
#15
I don't have any examples, I just like to be a smartass even when somebody asks a legitimate question.
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#17
Quote by phlip999
What are some of the dumbest questions you have been asked, heard asked, or asked someone else? Did you (or the person you asked) have a smartass comeback?

I might as well start this off with the inspiration for this thread: My sister (who will be going into her second year of High School) was watching a World War 2 documentary earlier, and asked me "Who's this Churchill guy? Was he the President?"

She has also asked me "Who's Hitler?" when she was studying WW2 in school a few months ago. Why she didn't know by then and why she couldn't just look it up in her book I have no idea, but asking that made me a bit worried about her...


I'm related to Winston Churchill, give her a smack on the back of the head for me.


OT: I cant really remember, though a lot of the time I speak before thinking so I'm sometimes the one to ask a dumb question that I didnt need to.
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#18
Q: Is throwing wrenches at us really necessary?
A: No
SA: Necessary? Necessary?! Is it necessary to drink my own urine?!!!
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#19
Quote by Sewn Up
Q: Is throwing wrenches at us really necessary?
A: No
SA: Necessary? Necessary?! Is it necessary to drink my own urine?!!!

Dodgeball: An Underdog Story.
Another one I have is when my friend and I were playing Don't Stop Believing (him on piano, me on guitar and vocal) and I said "I love Journey." Another friend replied "Yeah, Don't Stop Believing is a great band." After going back and forth with him about which was the band and which was the song, I was forced to bring him to three different google results to prove him wrong (as he is very oblivious about anything that he doesn't agree with.)
#20
Just the other day my mom asked me and my brother:

"What's the name of that song that goes 'I'm walking on sunshine'?"


...the worst part is that I remember her telling me that it was one of her favorite songs of all time.
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#21
In high school:
A: 'Are human's the smartest animals on Earth?'
Me: 'Well some of us are'
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#23
I was talking to my dad on the phone a couple years ago around Christmas and he decides to ask me at 10:30 at night, "So, is it cold where you're at?"


I live in Alaska.............
Some people just wanna watch the world burn. Wanna join me when I take my turn to pour the gas, light the match, see your world flip upside down and drop until it's inside out?
#24
Quote by blake1221
This one time, this person didn't know as much as me.


So I belittled the shit out of them.


That's the last time they'll ever be unknowledgeable.


I don't know why this thread continued after this post.
i don't know why i feel so dry
#25
My serior year English class was pretty much for people who just wanted the bare minimum of the workload, and we sure had some functioning retards in there.

Our teacher was trying to inform us on all of the Darfur rioting and civil unrest, and explaining how there's all that gang rape of women and such. One white girl (that you wouldn't know was unless you watched her speak) decided to just blurt out "Why they RAPIN' people? That's ignant".

On another occasion, before watching "The Boy in the Striped Pajamas", the same teacher was showing us footage of death camps during the holocaust, and an inbred muttered "Man, these spy cameras be shitty. They need to step they game up." (He thought the footage was recent)

But the real facepalm moment in that class came immediately after we finished reading Oedipus. Not ten seconds had passed before the token Asian girl that works in a nail salon said "Ooooh they should make a movie for Oedipus on Lifetime". It really is television for idiots.


I'm really angry that these people walked with me at graduation.
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#26
My previous girlfriend and I had an intense debate whether a tomato was a fruit or vegetable. Since she didn't believe me when I said it was a fruit, I pulled my best weapon against her (she is incredibly naive or just not very intelligent). I brought up a wikipedia page on tomatoes. I may have proved her wrong but I still felt worried. I didn't know what was worse, her not knowing about tomatoes, or her believing wikipedia over me.
One time she saw me flipping through a book about Led Zeppelin and asked me who they were.
Sometimes I felt like an idiot for dating her.
#28
Quote by Extra Ordinary
My previous girlfriend and I had an intense debate whether a tomato was a fruit or vegetable. Since she didn't believe me when I said it was a fruit, I pulled my best weapon against her (she is incredibly naive or just not very intelligent). I brought up a wikipedia page on tomatoes. I may have proved her wrong but I still felt worried. I didn't know what was worse, her not knowing about tomatoes, or her believing wikipedia over me.
One time she saw me flipping through a book about Led Zeppelin and asked me who they were.
Sometimes I felt like an idiot for dating her.

Tis a fruit, it has seeds. That's all that needs to be said. And lulz about Wikipedia being the voice of reason.
#29
Overheard in breakroom where I work(a custom food manufacturing plant) between a truckdriver(doh!) and an operator:

Op: yea, we're making tea(you know, tea, hot, boiled tea ok) right now
Td: Oh yea? What's in that?

I just kept walking thinking "derpa derp"
#30
I asked the supervising teacher on a camp, "So is it up or down hill to the creek?"
He looked at me.
I looked back.
"What?"

To be fair we'd spent three long days trekking through the scrub-covered hills miles from anywhere carrying everything in big backpacks. I was maybe a little tired.

I tend to respond with wilfully obstinate, stupid naivity to entirely legitimate questions. Or time-delay sarcasm. Not so much the snide "ur so stupid" overtones of the smartarse. I just enjoy frustrating my friends.
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#31
Quote by phlip999
What are some of the dumbest questions you have been asked, heard asked, or asked someone else? Did you (or the person you asked) have a smartass comeback?

I might as well start this off with the inspiration for this thread: My sister (who will be going into her second year of High School) was watching a World War 2 documentary earlier, and asked me "Who's this Churchill guy? Was he the President?"

She has also asked me "Who's Hitler?" when she was studying WW2 in school a few months ago. Why she didn't know by then and why she couldn't just look it up in her book I have no idea, but asking that made me a bit worried about her...


I quite simply refuse to believe it's possible to live in a first world country and not know this sort of shit.
#32
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I quite simply refuse to believe it's possible to live in a first world country and not know this sort of shit.

+3
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#33
Quote by the_hoodster
Watching District 9 with my mother. About 10 minutes in she asks 'Is this based on a true story?'


not sure if its been said already but....it kinda was based on events that happened during the apartheid era of South Africa, obviously not aliens but there was the segregation and discrimination etc
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#35
Once on a pub crawl around Burnley, this guy who was new in town asked "where's the best place to get a woman around here?" to which my mate answered "On the end of you knob mate!"
#36
Quote by blake1221
This one time, this person didn't know as much as me.


So I belittled the shit out of them.


That's the last time they'll ever be unknowledgeable.


Somebody asked me if I liked this guy. Stupidest question ever.
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My ex did the same. Cheated on me and then acted like I'd given her sister a facial. Women are retarded.
#37
Quote by voodoochild23
"are french people fond of their children?"

apprentice fans, anyone? one of the most bizzare things i've ever heard, that.

Although asked in a completely stupid way I think she was making some valid questions about French culture. She was ignorant of French culture so she asked. Yes "are the French fond of their children" sound stupid, but you do get very different attitudes to children and raising children around the globe.
Similarly "do the French drive?" sounded stupid, but she was just wondering if it would be an appropriate product for Paris.

She was ridiculous sometimes, but I think she was wiser than she was given credit for.


Quote by Extra Ordinary
My previous girlfriend and I had an intense debate whether a tomato was a fruit or vegetable. Since she didn't believe me when I said it was a fruit, I pulled my best weapon against her (she is incredibly naive or just not very intelligent). I brought up a wikipedia page on tomatoes. I may have proved her wrong but I still felt worried. I didn't know what was worse, her not knowing about tomatoes, or her believing wikipedia over me.
One time she saw me flipping through a book about Led Zeppelin and asked me who they were.
Sometimes I felt like an idiot for dating her.

To be honest is someone just started telling me something I didn't believe or didn't fit with what I already knew I'd believe it when I saw it on Wiki over them. You could very easily be lying or just wrong, Wiki would be much less likely to be.

(EDIT: Plus if you want to be really pedantic about it, barely any fruits are "fruits", or nuts actually "nuts", or vegetables etc etc. The tomato fact is one of those annoying "hey look at how wise I am about something that means **** all" when really they make the same mistake about so much more)

Quote by blake1221
This one time, this person didn't know as much as me.


So I belittled the shit out of them.


That's the last time they'll ever be unknowledgeable.

Pretty much.
Last edited by MadClownDisease at Jul 22, 2011,
#38
If someone asks me a dumb question I usually start lying to them.


"Is Greece a country?"
"Not anymore"
"What happened?"
"Same reason Czechoslovakia isn't a country"
"Oh, ok"
etc

I feel really bad after I do this though so I usually tell them the truth after a while.
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#40
Quote by guitarxo
If someone asks me a dumb question I usually start lying to them.


"Is Greece a country?"
"Not anymore"
"What happened?"
"Same reason Czechoslovakia isn't a country"
"Oh, ok"
etc

I feel really bad after I do this though so I usually tell them the truth after a while.

I do this, except I have no conscience, so I don't have to tell them the truth.

I do usually walk away laughing, though.
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