#1
This is my newest piece. It's interesting because it's simultaneously very old to me, as half the riffs are old riffs re-used in a new way, or, just finally finding a place.

It's another more black metal based piece. Sounds like... My usual I guess, Kvist and some Burzum or whatever. I think it flows way better than most of my songs do for whatever reason, but still, try to tear it to bits y'all. I want good critique and comment on it. The more you write the more I write.

and Note: It is titled Sturm und Drang but this does not mean that it is in any way shape or form based on or trying to be a Sturm und Drang classical piece. However, that style of classical songs has always inspired me and some riffs in this reminded me of that, so I figured why not? I like what the title means as well. Part II should hopefully be rolling around sometime next week.


Enjoy!

EDIT: Had to tack on the outro idea. Just realized I forgot to add it. Finished!
Attachments:
Sturm und Drang, Part I.zip
Quote by MoogleRancha
It's like Fenriz and J. Read

"I'm so happy to love metal and stuff"

"I AM metal"
Last edited by Burning_Angel at Jul 22, 2011,
#2
Drum intro is good, although the second crash in bar two is a bit off putting to me. Opening riffing is good, and the fade-out/Diminishing dynamics is a great effect. The chord choice is also great.

B is good, nice arpeggio choices and accentation phrasing, so good section. B-1 reminds me of something from JazzDeath's Comps, it must be in the feel at this section. I feel like theres some way that you could make this alot more intense/heavy, but I'm not sure. What do you think of adding a high Db to the diminished chord at 42 and removing the bass Bb?

And the drum change at 47 seems to speed up the tempo a shit load.

A-1 is a great variation of the original, and you do the drum thing again at 67. For some reason it seems really crazy/awesome to me.

C is a good section, and works well as a transition back into B. The first bar of A-2 seems off with the triplet 16ths, although it does create a cool effect. Same applies for bar 101, and the phrasing seems to be affecting the transitions between measures in a negative way.

B-2 is an interesting take on the original version, and I really like the use of altered themes in this piece. I'm not sure how much I appreciate the off beat snare at this section. 124 seems to fix it, although I dislike the constant cymbals.

Break was amazing, and same applies for D. Great feel in these sections, and a recording of it could be really epic.

But of it, great chord choice and the tremolo/alternate picking melody is also really great. The variations of it towards the end of the section are also good. The only qualm I might have is that it goes on for a very long time.

The outro seems to have some 8th to triplet 8th transition problems, and the chordal choice under bars 197-198 could be too bright sounding, even though they have a dark atmosphere. Its hard to describe.

Bars 200 and 201 give more of the expected feel than 197-198. But, the outro has an interesting feel overall and should work well.

Great song in general, and is definitely good material.
#3
Thanks for the swift return, man! I just cut out the first part of the outro, as I agree the triplet 8th was a bit off-putting/unnatural. Now it's only a few repeats of the straight 8ths. Segue's nicely into Part II thusfar as well. Although on A-2 I left it as is because I find when the drums are also taken into account it transitions/sounds fine. That section I kind of wanted to be a bit jarring/crazy anyway, and it seems to succeed at that.

And I agree D does go on for a long time but it's the atmospheric music fan in me. I want something just droning on like that with variations for a long time as basically the finale after a bit of a windy, cant-sit-still-style of a song. I feel it provides a bit of contrast with the almost constant changes of the first half.
Quote by MoogleRancha
It's like Fenriz and J. Read

"I'm so happy to love metal and stuff"

"I AM metal"
#4
No one?
Quote by MoogleRancha
It's like Fenriz and J. Read

"I'm so happy to love metal and stuff"

"I AM metal"
#5
Critiquing as I go:

Drum Intro: very cool.

Intro: I really am enjoying this riff. It has a sort of Opeth-vibe (as cliche and contrived as that sounds). In that, I mean it has a sort of progressive rock; yet very dark sound.

B: This part works. This is definitely not my favorite sort of riffing style, but as a transition to the next part it works. It feels empty if I can say anything wrong about it. I'd like to see some rhythmic chords behind this, or at least on the second half of it let the other guitar play a harmonic variation of it; perhaps ending dissonantly so it is more brooding.

B-1: I love this. The rhythm is very cool, and the chord progression is unique sounding to my ear.

A-1: This is a great reprise of A with some extra stuff.

C (Bridge): This is very good as well. With vocals I would imagine it being a lot better too. The dissonance is greatly applied.

A-2: This is an interesting variation of this riff. You really have mastered your variations. It makes things so much more fresh instead of just revisiting the same riff over and over.

B-2: This is good, albeit typical of your writing style. It never seems to get old though, so congratulations on being able to strip down chords and make interesting melodies.

Break: Awsome.

D: This riff is fantastic. The Break- This part is just greatly done.

I am surprised at this point the riff moves into the outro. It is sort of abrupt, but it works for what it is. I enjoyed the acoustic outro very much as well.

All in all, I think this is great. You're good with the dynamics overall. The drums are top notch as usual. I can't find much to complain about on the whole!
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#6
Thanks much for the kind words my friend. I do very much like your idea to vary/give B a bit more depth. It is somewhat stark, I suppose, and that idea sounds like it could work. I'll see what I can do.
Quote by MoogleRancha
It's like Fenriz and J. Read

"I'm so happy to love metal and stuff"

"I AM metal"
#8
Slow? It's ****ing dead.
Quote by MoogleRancha
It's like Fenriz and J. Read

"I'm so happy to love metal and stuff"

"I AM metal"
#9
Forgive me for being lazy with this crit (I think it's fair enough, hahaha).

Overall I really enjoyed the entirety of it. B was a really solid riff, loved how both tracks worked together. A and D were great as well. Only issue I had was feeling like D went on, as others said, but I understand that that's common for the intended genre and is just a taste thing for me.
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