Page 5 of 8
#161
пятница

Is plain soviet alarm clock, I wake up 7 am. Ready to work for Glory of Motherland. Must remove tiredness like KGB remove capitalist swine. Must descend to communal eating chamber. Must to eat porridge, keep eyes open for American spies. We are secure; Everybody's Russian. Now time leave. At soviet tramway, I see my comrades. All of them are in back seat of Soviet Jeep, be taken to Gulag because Capitalist influence spread like cancer in Mother Russia.
Work all day for good of Soviet union, even though today is Friday, I work tomorrow regardless.

Such is Life in Mother Russia.
Last edited by psyks at Jul 26, 2011,
#162
Probably not all that good, but I've begun a baby's first nursery rhyme book for our young comrades. Includes perfected versions of classics such as little bo peep, and some of the most common tounge twisters!


One day young girl have sheep. It follow her to school one day while she learn how to produce for Motherland. She was taken by KGB and the sheep burned for warmth.

Such is life in Moscow.


Piper is once picking large amounts of peppers pickled in capitalist fashion. He was sent to Siberia to count tree for taking his comrade's share. The peppers were distribut to each according to need.

Such is life in Abazkan.


Young girl sell shells taken from aquatic comrades on shore of sea. She was arrested for injuring comrades tounges and profiting instead of producing for Glorious Motherland. KGB arresting officers drink vodka in salute to well done job.

Such is life in Mordovia.



..I was later taken by gulag for writing instead of working Motherland fields.
Vodka was not spared for capitalist swine.
Such is life in Mother Russia
Last edited by sglover34479 at Jul 26, 2011,
#164
Decided to try my hand at one of my favorite creepypastas.

I grow up in small village outside Moscow. Simple life, but good. Work hard in factory for good of glorious Motherland, lines for bread not long, many times have vodka to help face cold Russian winter.

One day, Comrade Boris comes to me. Says strange man has set up large tent in village. We decide to investigate, fear strange man could be capitalist, come to tempt hardworking Comrades with gifts and lies. When we get there, large crowd already gathered around tent. Strange man is tall and skinny, not strong like real Soviet man. He has fiddle, and says he will play music, so we can all sing and dance. Does not ask for any rubles, and provides service for the good of all, so Boris and I do not think he is capitalist pig.

After a few songs, man is arrested by KGB. All in audience are sent to do hard labor in Gulag. We hear later strange man is executed for sedition. Man who dances does not produce for the good of the Motherland.

Such is life in Soviet Russia.
There will probably be a signature here at some point.
Last edited by Adam...? at Jul 26, 2011,
#165
Quote by littlephil
Not creepypasta, but whatever

In Khrushchyovka born and raised
In the factory is where I spent most of days
Working hard
For good of Motherland
When couple of capitalist pigs up to no good
Started spreading propaganda in neighborhood
I got in one little fight and KGB send to Siberia for not work


Couldn't think of a line to fit in the middle






OH LAWD!
I sprawled all over the floor at the last line.
#166
Quote by psyks
пятница

Is plain soviet alarm clock, I wake up 7 am. Ready to work for Glory of Motherland. Must remove tiredness like KGB remove capitalist swine. Must descend to communal eating chamber. Must to eat porridge, keep eyes open for American spies. We are secure; Everybody's Russian. Now time leave. At soviet tramway, I see my comrades. All of them are in back seat of Soviet Jeep, be taken to Gulag because Capitalist influence spread like cancer in Mother Russia.
Work all day for good of Soviet union, even though today is Friday, I work tomorrow regardless.

Such is Life in Mother Russia.



I love you more than I've ever loved before.
OBEY THE MIGHTY SHITKICKER
#167
Man makes joke about capitalist pig. Not all comrades laugh. Man killed for not speading laughter equally.

Such is life in Soviet Russia.


Meh.
Quote by UntilISleep
You have excellent taste in literature, dear sir

Quote by Primus2112
You have excellent taste in video games, good sir.

Quote by GbAdimDb5m7
You have terrible taste in signatures, idiotic sir.

kkoo
#168
this is story about how,
i become worker in gulag,
so i take moment, just sit down,
and i tell how i was sent to Siberia.

i was born, raised in Saint Petersberg,
most of my days spent out in potato field,
tilling, digging, toiling, working hard,
growing potatoes outside in field.

when couple of comrades refuse to work,
they start to make trouble in field,
i get in little argument and KGB gets mad,
and they say "We Move you out to gulag in Siberia."

i wait for train, and it comes near,
i see nothing to make it stand out from other train,
i can say train was very ordinary,
and then the conductor say "Off to Siberia!"

i pull up to station about 3 or 4,
and i say nothing to anyone,
i look at gulag, i am finally there,
to count trees for rest of life.

such is life in Soviet Russia.
There's no such thing; there never was. Where I am going you cannot follow me now.
Last edited by theogonia777 at Jul 26, 2011,
#169
Many time ago, my russian wife and I were travelling down long road from Moscow to Stalingrad. We make good time in glorious soviet car, but soon wondrous oil from glorious wells in siberia begin to run out. We make stop at comrade petrol station in middle of Russia. I get out of car, and go inside comrade's shop. There no one there. I look in basement and I find little girl and family murdered by KGB for not manning shop.

Then KGB come out of nowhere and hunt my wife and I down. We drive down long road, but they soon catch up and take my wife for not being productive Russian wife and staying at home making many workers for glorious soviet cause. Her vagine hang like wizard sleeve for many years. I am not happy.

They make me learn lesson by taking me to Siberia. I have not seen anyone for many year now.

If you learn lesson from me, do not stop on productive drive to Stalingrad. Keep driving and using glorious Soviet gas.
<--- This is Wally. Not Waldo.

Gear List:
Ibanez RG570
Fender MIA Strat (in black, HSS)
Godawful Marshall MG practice amp

My Youtube
My godawful blog
#170
Quote by theogonia777
this is story about how,
i become worker in gulag,
so i take moment, just sit down,
and i tell how i was sent to Siberia.

i was born, raised in Saint Petersberg,
most of my days spent out in potato field,
tilling, digging, toiling, working hard,
growing potatoes outside in field.

when couple of comrades refuse to work,
they start to make trouble in field,
i get in little argument and KGB gets mad,
and they say "We Move you out to gulag in Siberia."

i wait for train, and it comes near,
i see nothing to make it stand out from other train,
i can say train was very ordinary,
and then the conductor say "Off to Siberia!"

i pull up to station about 3 or 4,
and i say nothing to anyone,
i look at gulag, i am finally there,
to count trees for rest of life.

such is life in Soviet Russia.


This was done on the first page. E for effort though.
#171
Quote by blake1221
This was done on the first page. E for effort though.


i really don't have a clue what any of them are about.
There's no such thing; there never was. Where I am going you cannot follow me now.
#172
Story of Capitalist Pig-Jew and Three Hardworking Soviet Comrades

Many time ago, was Capitalist Pig-Jew of name Goldstein. Capitalist Pig-Jew lazy and no work, so go for walk through Moscow to spread filthy capitalism and try much to destroy Glorious Soviet Union. After some time, Pig-Jew see Soviet Worker Apartment Complex and decide to spread evil Capitalism there. Pig-Jew find door locked, so, being Evil Capitalist, break lock and tresspass on Glorious Soviet Building.

Pig-Jew sneak into Soviet Communal Kitchen and find three bowls porrige on table. Pig-Jew fat and eat many expensive foods all time during day, but make to eat food anyway. Pig-Jew taste first of three bowl.

"This porrige is too hot!" Say Whiney Baby Pig-Jew. Pig-Jew taste porrige of second bowl.

"This porrige is too cold!" Say Pig-Jew, despite fact is Nourishing Soviet Food. Capitalist Pig-Jew lazy and waste much food, unlike Good Soviet People. Pig-Jew taste of last bowl.

"This porrige is just right!" Say Capitalist Pig, and ate it all.

Capitalist Pig evil and lazy, so feel tired after eating. Pig-Jew look for chair for sitting but Good Soviet workers not lazy and have no use for chair, because always working. So Capitalist Pig go up stairs to Glorious Soviet Dormitory and find room with three bunks.

Pig lay in first bunk, but whine and complain that is too hard, so go to second bunk. Lay down in second bunk, but cry that it is too soft. So Jew-Pig go to third bunk and finally fall asleep.

Because Capitalist Pig-Dog sleeping and not keeping watch as Good Soviet would have done, three Soviet Workers come to complex after a satisfying day of producing goods at Soviet Factory for Benefit of Glorious Motherland.

The three Comrades come to Communal Eating-Room to eat porrige before back to work go. Comrades see that someone was eating their porrige, and immediately suspect work of Evil Capitalist Dog, as no good Soviet would eat another Comrade's porrige.

Comrades pass around bottle of Vodka, run up stair, and begin searching rooms for Pig-Dog. After short time Comrades find Fat Lazy Pig-Jew sleeping in Soviet-Made bunk. Comrades alert KGB. KGB drag Capitalist Jew-Pig onto street and execute publicly. Comrades sent to Siberia to count trees for not working. Porrige and bunks burned for warmth.

Such is life in Moscow.



My attempt.
I forgot how to play guitar. Q_Q
#173
Something tells me that the KGB actually sent people to Siberia to count trees...
Gear

Guitars: '02 Ibanez Jem 7vwh
ESP LTD Alexi 600 Yellow
Ibanez RG560CA w/ SD Invader
Carvin DC747 Vintage Yellow
Ibanez RGA 8 QM w/ Dimarzio D-Active and PAF 8
Washburn KC-70v
Bass: 1980 Aria Pro II SB Elite II
Amps: Vox VT20+
#174



I absolutely love how I know that all of these will end up just having people sent to siberia and everything else being burnt for warmth, yet they still crack me up
#175
^Then I think you may like mine, although the ending is a little different

Summer in mother Russia. Beautiful scenery and nature. Friend suggest visit beach, drink vodka drinks and have merry time. You are skeptical at first, think this bad idea KGB arrest you for not work but play and ocean will be very cold. Friend convince you it be warm, you decide to visit ocean with many friend anyway. You all arrive at beach and begin to swim and have joyful time. Friends and you take many vodka shots and play many games on beach.

You've had couple of drinks when you and two friends go back into ocean. You have race to swim to rock sticking out of water out very far. Friends accept challenge and you frantically swim until big wave come. Not wanting to be crushed by wave, dive underwater. Come back up seconds later, friends not visible. You look in all directions but cannot see land nor rock. Ocean become very rough now and you think you see something sticking out of water. Maybe friend. Hope it is, you swimb closer yelling out for comrade, no response.

You feel something nudge back of leg. Turn around and see nothing there. You panic and swim towards what you think is land. Then you see a fin stick out of water swimming towards you. It is shark and swimming fast, you try swim faster. The shark is gaining on you. Shark comes closer and closer but you make final effort to escape. Then, you see large jaws open wide.

Shark capture your foolish Soviet Hide, for he is good Soviet. Russian waters always cold and unforgiving like good Soviet soul is, dammit! Cause you drink vodka drink don't mean ocean ever warm. Shark eats imbocele carcass and distributes skin amongst other Soviet shark to burn for warmth, for he is loyal comrade.

Such is ocean in Mother Russia


This post is in honor of Shark week
Quote by ErikLensherr
Don't belittle it like that, your mom produces top quality stuff.



C4C
[thread="1339859"]Hammerhead[/thread]
[thread="1341152"]Anglerfish[/thread]

VOTE
Thrustor: 2012
#176
one day, good hardworking comrade decides to not be good hardworking comrade, take day off of working in potato field. comrade say "i think i go to Ural mountains go see bear in mountains." so comrade sneak away in middle of night to go to Ural mountains. formerly hardworking but now lazy comrade get ride from lazy gypsies into mountains. there also Ukrainian riding along, he is eating salo. Ukrainians always eating salo.

so gypies, salo-eating Ukrainian, and now lazy comrade get to Urals, they go up mountain. comrade look for bear, Ukrainian look for more salo, and lazy gypsies look for soft spot to sleep. then, Siberian tiger comes along and eats all of Ukrainians salo. scared gypsies run off, leaving comrade all alone with tiger. even though comrade now much lazy, used to be strong and hardworking, take out AK-47 and shoot Siberian tiger.

but lazy no good gypsies gone, leaving only comrade and Ukrainian, but Ukrainian have no more salo. Ukrainian without salo, only thing more useless than Ukrainian with salo. comrade not know way back, so comrade and Ukrainian stuck in Urals. but has knowledge of outdoors and working hard, comrade will be fine. Ukrainian only have knowledge of salo. so comrade leave behind Ukrainian, trick Ukrainian into thinking there is salo on other side of mountain. comrade ditch Ukrainian, goes off by self.

comrade goes on three days, finds old gulag in woods. comrade finds balalaika, starts to play. then elk (moose) comes out of woods and elk screams at comrade. comrade hit elk with balalaika, knock elk out. but now comrade have no balalaika to play. so comrade finds gulag's vodka. but vodka is all gone. no more vodka left for comrade. no vodka, no balalaika, not even Ukrainian with salo. comrade alone with nothing, so comrade decide to go back to working hard in potato field.

but then comrade wakes up and realize trip to Urals just dream. comrade not really skip work to go to Urals with gypsies and salo-eating Ukrainian. but then KGB come and tell comrade that comrade can't even dream of skipping work in potato field, send comrade work in factory, making salo for Ukrainians.

such is life in Soviet Russia.
There's no such thing; there never was. Where I am going you cannot follow me now.
#177
^
I laughed hard at that one.
I forgot how to play guitar. Q_Q
Last edited by BringMeTheDerp at Jul 28, 2011,
#178
Quote by izbbass
Man makes joke about capitalist pig. Not all comrades laugh. Man killed for not speading laughter equally.

Such is life in Soviet Russia.


Meh.


Man makes joke about capitalist pig. Not all comrades laugh. Ones who not laugh are capitalist, sent to count trees in Siberia.

Such is life in Soviet Russia.
#179
they say comrade flee from this very gulag once. take bottle of vodka, run to forest. they say when found him, could identify him only by label on stolen vodka bottle.

such is life in Soviet Russia.
There's no such thing; there never was. Where I am going you cannot follow me now.
#180
I hate man name Bob. Bob piece of shit and treat my woman as such. One day me tell KGB Bob is drinking more vodka then his ration card allow. KGB bring Bob to Moscow and torture horribly for week before executing. Nearest relative billed for ammunition used. Ammunition is expensive. Woman and I live happily ever after for three year before sent to Siberia to count trees. But at least we count trees together.

Such is life in Soviet Russia.
I forgot how to play guitar. Q_Q
#181
Quote by BringMeTheDerp
I hate man name Bob. Bob piece of shit and treat my woman as such. One day me tell KGB Bob is drinking more vodka then his ration card allow. KGB bring Bob to Moscow and torture horribly for week before executing. Nearest relative billed for ammunition used. Ammunition is expensive. Woman and I live happily ever after for three year before sent to Siberia to count trees. But at least we count trees together.

Such is life in Soviet Russia.



That's not creepypasta at all but I'm still cracking up


Stalin bless this thread
#182
Quote by vicarious46
Such is ocean in Mother Russia


how was this overlooked?
~don't finkdinkle when ur supposed to be dimpdickin~
#183
Quote by Primus2112
how was this overlooked?




Haha I love that this thread was revived.
May just contribute another 'creepy' story if I can think of one
Quote by ErikLensherr
Don't belittle it like that, your mom produces top quality stuff.



C4C
[thread="1339859"]Hammerhead[/thread]
[thread="1341152"]Anglerfish[/thread]

VOTE
Thrustor: 2012
#185
Little girl is raised in glourious Moscow. She procreates with dirty capitalist pig that no works. For that crime against Motherland doctors attach penis to her, and burn her baby for warmth.

For over years, she becomes lazy soviet, not working soviet. She enters bar to receive daily dose of vodka, and tells story to bartender. He tell her to join "time traveler corps" to change her past.
They go to time machine, but KGB come from inside. She is sent to Gulag to peel potatoes for not working for Motherland.

Such is life in Mother Russia
Last edited by gonzaw at Jul 31, 2011,
#186
Don't halt reading this and assume this is work of raving capitalist lunatic. Tho story I am about to tell has sense to it if you will listen.

Look, you've probably already heard of top secret Soviet time travel operation, da? Remember Chernobyl incident? That was actually the first time the motherland was ever able to send cosmonaut soldier back to past and assassinate fascist Hitler and bring mother Russia to glorious victory in second great war.

Behind every great man was cosmonaut of great soviets. In fact, I am future version of you and I have come to bring you warning of disaster to come. However, rules that motherland has set me means I can not communicate with past self to alter space time continuum in individual's favor - must be in equal favor of all of motherland.

You should probably read first word of every paragraph now.


PS. Stock up on vodka. In soon time, government will declare vodka as alcoholic beverage. Such is life in future Russia.
#187
Something I came up with on the drive home...not really creepypasta, but it fits...

Fellow Comrades,

Argonaut is epitome of strong Soviet worker. He detach penis to make strong baby while busy working. All Soviet men required to evolve detachable penis, make strong Soviet babies while work hard for glory of Motherland.

If read this, be sent to Gulag for reading and not working. If not read this and not develop detachable Russian penis, also be sent to Gulag for not obey orders.

Such is life in Soviet Russia,
Ivan Aleksandrovich Serov
Church burning is good for the (social) environment

_██_
(ಠ_ృ--------


Quote by theknuckster
It's like you take vodka, and then dilute it down until it's pretty much water, but still call it vodka, and proceed to pretend to get heavily wasted off it.
#188
One day in glorious Motherland, man is taken to talking to his prospective wife Dominika. As they are being with the talking and drinking of glorious Vodka their telephone rings. Man on at end of phone say to man that he father of Dominika and he will not let them be doing the marry one another.

Man turns back to fiance Dominika, and explains to her the condemnation of her father. In shock, Dominika tells that her father died in Great War 10 years ago.

"But then who was phone?" asks the man.....

Next morning he is stuck with the counting trees in Siberia, arrested by KGB comrades for using capitalist phone instead of providing great work for postal service of glorious Russia.

Such is life in the Motherland
Last edited by willT08 at Jul 31, 2011,
#189
one day, deep in forest, there is young comrade in village. in village, all are children forever. but comrades still work very hard, have great work ethic. except one comrade, have no work ethic. other comrade in charge of village make much fun of lazy non working comrade.

but one day, young comrade have terrible dream of lazy capitalist pig take over village. when comrade wake up, suddenly get much work ethic, embrace spirit of communism. goes into heart of forest to stop gypsies in forest. great spirit of hard work send young comrade to save Motherland from capitalist pig, and give special treasure.

young comrade set off to capital, warn KGB of capitalist pig agenda. meet young daughter of president. daughter show young comrade capitalist pig, but capitalist pig pretend to be hard working comrade, fool president. so young daughter give young comrade balalaika, teach to play song of KGB, sends off to find special treasure, which comrade will use to trick capitalist pig into dropping cover, revealing capitalist pig agenda to all.

young comrade heads up to Ural Mountains to find first treasure. mountain comrades own treasure, but not let comrade have. mine where mine coal for glorious Homeland filled with gypsies, young comrade must rid of gypsies. young comrade journey deep in mine, kill all gypsies, gets treasure.

then comrade go to Ural River, find secret village of river comrades. but village chief daughter gone missing, eaten by village spirit that has been corrupted by capitalist pig. so young comrade go save daughter, get last treasure.

then young comrade head back to Moscow, find that capitalist pig try to kidnap president's daughter, daughter run away. young comrade go to St Basil's Cathedral, play balalaika song. comrade finds magic AK-47, but grabs, and fall into deep sleep.

when young comrade wakes up, no longer young comrade, all grown up. finds capitalist pig take over Motherland, let gypsies run around and destroy everything and be lazy. now-grownup comrade finds KGB officer, tells comrade that must free other KGB members that locked up my capitalist pig in gulags across Motherland. so comrade head out to find KGB members.

first, comrade return home to forest village, finds gulag hidden in woods. goes in, fights lazy gypsies in gulag, finds KGB agent, who used to be friend when children, now full fledged KGB officer.

next comrade go to Urals, finds that capitalist pig take mountain comrades, put all in gulag. capitalist feed mountain comrades to gypsy in gulag. comrade go in, shoot gypsy, stop from eating mountain comrades, find village chief, who is KGB member.

now comrade go to Ural River to find river comrades, but village frozen. river comrade chief tell comrade to go to Lake Ladoga. comrade find that capitalist pig drain lake, build gulag on lake bed. comrade goes and fights gypsies in gulag, fills up lake, finds KGB member.

comrade goes back to Urals, finds old gulag. many lazy comrades sent to gulag in days before capitalist pig take over. comrade go in, must fight spirits of lazy comrades who die in gulag. then comrade find gypsy, kills and rescue KGB member.

then goes to last gulag, in desert. desert used to be home to good comrade women, but capitalist pig (who comes from desert) made them lazy. comrades frees desert comrade women, sent to gulag to free last KGB member from gulag. gulag guarded by many gypsies and old witch gypsies. but comrade strong and hard working, kill gypsies and save KGB agent.

comrade takes KGB and goes to Moscow. confronts capitalist pig, fights to death. comrade when, and saves former president's daughter, but capitalist pig's castle collapse. comrade escapes from castle, but capitalist pig survive, attack comrade. comrade and daughter fight hard, beat capitalist pig, locks in gulag forever. then comrade drinks much vodka.

such is life in Soviet Russia.
There's no such thing; there never was. Where I am going you cannot follow me now.
Last edited by theogonia777 at Jul 31, 2011,
#190
Man steps down from stoop and walk down street. Procedes to nearest convenient store. Outside store sits skinny beggar with hair full of mange, cup full of change and green dollar. Disgusted by beggar, walks by. Goes to back of store and grab vodka bottle. At front of register denied service, vodka drink not sold before 10 AM.

Man irate, go to work at bank. Many face are happy; Poles, Germans, English and Russians all working. Man become confused. Boss greets man with handshake and brings him to personal office, large office with window. Only few office have window, offices for valued employee. Work simple all day and man uneasy. End of day man recieve paycheck, large numbers inside. New inexperience employee recieve less

Man walking home now begin sweat. Police drive by without stop, wave friendly. People walking happily. Jewish man across street, Muslim church two blocks away. Group man and woman protest at town hall. Two men kiss openly!

Comrade wake up, breath heavy and sweat much. Nightmare is such of life in filth Capitilist America. Comrade relieve, just a dream...

Buys vodka. Drinks Hard. Sees gypsy beat. Works Hard. Small money recieve. Street people silent and to themselve. Returns to small apartment, proud comrade.

Such is life in Soviet Russia
Quote by ErikLensherr
Don't belittle it like that, your mom produces top quality stuff.



C4C
[thread="1339859"]Hammerhead[/thread]
[thread="1341152"]Anglerfish[/thread]

VOTE
Thrustor: 2012
#192
Quote by vicarious46
Man steps down from stoop and walk down street. Procedes to nearest convenient store. Outside store sits skinny beggar with hair full of mange, cup full of change and green dollar. Disgusted by beggar, walks by. Goes to back of store and grab vodka bottle. At front of register denied service, vodka drink not sold before 10 AM.

Man irate, go to work at bank. Many face are happy; Poles, Germans, English and Russians all working. Man become confused. Boss greets man with handshake and brings him to personal office, large office with window. Only few office have window, offices for valued employee. Work simple all day and man uneasy. End of day man recieve paycheck, large numbers inside. New inexperience employee recieve less

Man walking home now begin sweat. Police drive by without stop, wave friendly. People walking happily. Jewish man across street, Muslim church two blocks away. Group man and woman protest at town hall. Two men kiss openly!

Comrade wake up, breath heavy and sweat much. Nightmare is such of life in filth Capitilist America. Comrade relieve, just a dream...

Buys vodka. Drinks Hard. Sees gypsy beat. Works Hard. Small money recieve. Street people silent and to themselve. Returns to small apartment, proud comrade.

Such is life in Soviet Russia



AWESOME BAHAHA
#193
Quote by theogonia777
one day, deep in forest, there is young comrade in village. in village, all are children forever. but comrades still work very hard, have great work ethic. except one comrade, have no work ethic. other comrade in charge of village make much fun of lazy non working comrade.

but one day, young comrade have terrible dream of lazy capitalist pig take over village. when comrade wake up, suddenly get much work ethic, embrace spirit of communism. goes into heart of forest to stop gypsies in forest. great spirit of hard work send young comrade to save Motherland from capitalist pig, and give special treasure.

young comrade set off to capital, warn KGB of capitalist pig agenda. meet young daughter of president. daughter show young comrade capitalist pig, but capitalist pig pretend to be hard working comrade, fool president. so young daughter give young comrade balalaika, teach to play song of KGB, sends off to find special treasure, which comrade will use to trick capitalist pig into dropping cover, revealing capitalist pig agenda to all.

young comrade heads up to Ural Mountains to find first treasure. mountain comrades own treasure, but not let comrade have. mine where mine coal for glorious Homeland filled with gypsies, young comrade must rid of gypsies. young comrade journey deep in mine, kill all gypsies, gets treasure.

then comrade go to Ural River, find secret village of river comrades. but village chief daughter gone missing, eaten by village spirit that has been corrupted by capitalist pig. so young comrade go save daughter, get last treasure.

then young comrade head back to Moscow, find that capitalist pig try to kidnap president's daughter, daughter run away. young comrade go to St Basil's Cathedral, play balalaika song. comrade finds magic AK-47, but grabs, and fall into deep sleep.

when young comrade wakes up, no longer young comrade, all grown up. finds capitalist pig take over Motherland, let gypsies run around and destroy everything and be lazy. now-grownup comrade finds KGB officer, tells comrade that must free other KGB members that locked up my capitalist pig in gulags across Motherland. so comrade head out to find KGB members.

first, comrade return home to forest village, finds gulag hidden in woods. goes in, fights lazy gypsies in gulag, finds KGB agent, who used to be friend when children, now full fledged KGB officer.

next comrade go to Urals, finds that capitalist pig take mountain comrades, put all in gulag. capitalist feed mountain comrades to gypsy in gulag. comrade go in, shoot gypsy, stop from eating mountain comrades, find village chief, who is KGB member.

now comrade go to Ural River to find river comrades, but village frozen. river comrade chief tell comrade to go to Lake Ladoga. comrade find that capitalist pig drain lake, build gulag on lake bed. comrade goes and fights gypsies in gulag, fills up lake, finds KGB member.

comrade goes back to Urals, finds old gulag. many lazy comrades sent to gulag in days before capitalist pig take over. comrade go in, must fight spirits of lazy comrades who die in gulag. then comrade find gypsy, kills and rescue KGB member.

then goes to last gulag, in desert. desert used to be home to good comrade women, but capitalist pig (who comes from desert) made them lazy. comrades frees desert comrade women, sent to gulag to free last KGB member from gulag. gulag guarded by many gypsies and old witch gypsies. but comrade strong and hard working, kill gypsies and save KGB agent.

comrade takes KGB and goes to Moscow. confronts capitalist pig, fights to death. comrade when, and saves former president's daughter, but capitalist pig's castle collapse. comrade escapes from castle, but capitalist pig survive, attack comrade. comrade and daughter fight hard, beat capitalist pig, locks in gulag forever. then comrade drinks much vodka.

such is life in Soviet Russia.

It took me until the AK-47 to understand what this was, but this is fucking glorious
#197
That zelda one was ****ing AMAZING.
ಠ_ಠ
- Yes, My name is actually Terran -
- Not just a Starcraft fan -


Terran > Zerg and Protoss
#199
It lovely blizzard day in Soviet Union, Jet being comrade to fullest.
Jet betray proud Soviet wife for Capitalist pig mancrush.
Jet executed firing squad for Capitalist manwhoring.

Such is life in AT
Quote by whitenihilist
Asada is schooling Playmadness.

Quote by Victory2134
Asada confirmed for coolest guy in here.
#200
Is late. boris1221 checks talk-boards of Mother Russia Guitar Make Benefit. Notices comrades speaking of reviving thread for good of cause.

Makes mental note, takes sip of vodka and resolves to do something in the morning before passing out, probably not really going to do anything.

Such is life in Moscow.
Last edited by blake1221 at Aug 15, 2011,