#1
I wrote this short poem not too long ago and im having trouble finding the right chords and rhythm for it. in my head it sounds like Rainin' (4am) by The Bicycle Thief.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=428cshJaPGE

tell me what you think. thanks!


time
its what i need
this could have turned out
better for me

if i had
used it well
i wouldnt be stuck here
in this hell

in my life
it seemed to be
just irrelivent
irrelivent to me

now it comes
passes and passes
its a little bit more
than ashes to ashes

______________________
time
it comes so slow
and somehow leaves so fast
thats how it always seemed in my past
in my past
_______________________

now that its gone
gone for good
i whish i were standing
where you stood

where
you
stood
#3
The chord progression for Rainin' 4am is G Em C D, and I had a little play along with your lyrics and I think it sounds pretty cool on the verses. As in:

Time,
G

It's what I need,
Em

This could've turned out,
C

Better for me.
D

I don't know if you wanted to do the same thing with the chorus, it's up to you. Work out the chord progression first, then the strumming pattern, which is far less important. Perhaps on the first verse you could single strum each chord, and from then on use a simple pattern like DDUUDU.

I think the song certainly lends itself to being played fairly slowly, for the reasons facemelt touched upon. I hear it kinda like Johnny Cash's version of 'Hurt', although obviously with different chords.

I'm no expert on songwriting, just thought I'd chuck in a few ideas that you can use if you like.
#4
Thanks for the thoughts guys.
I decided to us D, Fm7, C and Em in the verse. I'm still not too sure about the Em though. Any ideas on another chord i could put there? I've been looking at chord charts and can't seem to find one that i like.

For the chorus i thought it would go like this:

G
time

Em
it comes so slow

C...................D
and somehow leaves so fast

G..........................Em.......D
thats how it always seemed in my past

C
in my past


And for the last three words it goes

D
Where

Fm7
You

C(slow strum)
Stood


Play with it and tell me what you guys think. Thanks again!
Last edited by fluffymuffins at Jul 26, 2011,