#1
This is a song I wrote at the beginning of the year. I have a much better recorded version of it which can be found in a link under the video. It has a little bit of nice lead and percussion in it.

I figured since it's my first song I've put up on UG that I should let people know who I am and what I look like.

So feel free to pick on my performance too, as well as my singing, and the content of the song. Keep in mind I have only just started my singing lessons, so crit, but don't be cruel. Overall I'd just like to know if the song is actually decent or if I'm wasting my time trying to write anything.

It's a very mellow and yet angry song about letting go.

All the info on how I recorded it is in the description of the video.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bZ6hDYDIV70
Last edited by Casuist at Jul 26, 2011,
#2
I like it actually, quite a bit. The guitar part is very mellow, but they lyrics really fit well for the style. I didn't really notice anything wrong with the song or playing of it. The chords were clear, no buzzing, you seemed to keep the rhythm. Your vocals were good. And the song, very nice. The finger picking part was good, nice transitioning to and from it.


c4c? https://www.ultimate-guitar.com/forum/showthread.php?t=1464543
#3
Thanks for the crit.

The vocal recording quality is really good. You've got a great bassy voice. The melody was a little odd in places, like you hadn't quite figured it out entirely (similar to my track) and it seemed a little pitchy in those moments.

You lost the rhythm a bit in the middle somewhere, but who cares. The guitar tone wasn't amazing, but still good for a youtube video.

Listening to the soundcloud version now. Love the rhythm stuff That scraping sound is so cool. Not a big fan of the guitar tone - possibly a slightly cleaner tone with a tremelo Doors style?. The odd melody is still there. Sounds like you're going for an off-kilter Nick Cave thing, but all those moments are where you go out of tune.

So that's my 2 cents.
#4
HERE WE GO!!!

hey cool lookin dude! OH YOURE GONNA PLAY A SONG FOR ME YAHOO! You have a nice voice, she gets a bit pitchy but that can be improved if you like that idea. You might get a nicer sound out of your voice with a tad REVERB and messing with EQ just a bit? It has a certain richness I think could come across more. Maybe you would consider switching up that STRUM PATTERN a bit? even just making it sparser and stuff. OH YOU HAVE DONE JUST THAT nearish to the end of the song, but it might have been nice to have that surprise a little earlier.

GOOD WORK you MUST KEEP GOING!!


return the luv, my bruv

https://www.ultimate-guitar.com/forum/showthread.php?t=1464675

sub on the YT and they will too
Don't tell me what can not be done

Don't tell me what can be done, either.



I love you all no matter what.
Last edited by nightwind at Jul 28, 2011,
#5
haha yeah, that rhythm bit in the middle was a stuff up, the flow of the lyrics changes there and it always catches me off guard with my strumming.
The song's meant to have a band backing me, because it really is just the same 3 chords throughout, I was planning that different vocal timing and melodies could add some variation along with strumming and a band backing it.
I've decided to take things on a solo path these days.

Still trying to work out my DI tone with that guitar, as it is still quite new. I gotta say thanks for listening to the other recorded version I had, that was done with a DVD case, ripping paper, and my old cheapie acoustic.

Nice of you to say too about Nick Cave, he's a pretty big influence of mine.

Thanks for the crits so far guys.