Hi all. I just thought I'd put the question out there for some general advice. Me and 3 friends recently started a band. I am the Guitarist/ Bassist, same as my friend- we swap. Then we have a singer and a drummer.

I seem to be the only person who really has the confidence to make the decisions and stuff. Everyone is an equal but we decided on me being the "bandleader" due to my sort of personality traits.

All is sort of going well. Until about 3 weeks ago. I found a perfect song for us to play for a school music assessment. Everyone just turned against each other. Then the blaming started and someone said it was my fault for taking the band into my own hands and ruining everything.

Is this actually my fault or is everyone just looking for someone to blame?

Everyone in the band is a good friend and breaking it all up now seems dumb. But I have another friend who lead her band and their doing well now. So do I try to pull it all toether and stitch the whole thing back up now or drop it all and run?

Very confused.

Please Help Thx
Life Story.
Kicked ass at Guitar Hero.
Decided To learn Guitar coz I felt like a pro.
Kicked ass at guitar. Learnt Bass.
Now Guitar Hero looks so F***in Gay.
One thing needed for a band to function is a level of maturity. It seems as though you might be lacking that.

My bandmates and I argue a lot...but it is always with the best interests of the band in mind. Just like in life...you need to pick your battles. Maybe compromise here and there some more.

I, like you, have the leadership role in the band. Mostly because I am the most outspoken and organized. Sometimes it "sucks" having to make the call, but if someone doesn't step up you will end up having more issues in the long run.

If you all have a chemistry and are really friends you will find a way to make it work.
Wait. What exactly is the problem? Did you guys just disagree on what song to play? If that's the case I would just say just try and fix the situation.

EDIT: Also, somebody has to be making the decisions, and if nobody else is going to, then there's no reason for you not to. Nothing wrong with having a "leader" as long as everyone has a voice in the band. Definitely stick the band you have.
Last edited by thewalrus176 at Jul 26, 2011,
The question was is it worth going to the trouble of leading a band?
Life Story.
Kicked ass at Guitar Hero.
Decided To learn Guitar coz I felt like a pro.
Kicked ass at guitar. Learnt Bass.
Now Guitar Hero looks so F***in Gay.
There are general rules for facilitating a discussion:

1. No name calling (because then it becomes more about the people involved than the matter at hand).

2. Really listen to what the other people are saying and then repeat it back to them in your own words: "so what I am hearing you say is...." Then you turn to the other members and say, "well what do you think about that?" Then you can say, 'well, here is how I feel about it and why that is."

Males tend to be dominance oriented, so when the aggression starts reason gets tossed out the window amid all the posturing and personal agendas. Therefore, as the leader, you have to find a way to channel the differing personalities of your bandmates into a constructive framework that will enable you guys to stay on point. Disengage yourself emotionally from the discussion and just keep going back to what you see as the objective benefits of what you propose. But also know the point at which you are beating a dead horse and need to either drop the idea or table it until a later time.

3. Remind them that you were appointed to lead the band and you therefore need to act positively to keep everything moving forward, such as finding material for you guys to do.

4. Take a vote. Do you want to do the song I brought in or not? If it is voted down then find another song. If you win, the party that lost has to be mature and accept that you can't get your way all the time, ESPECIALLY WHEN YOU DECLINED TO LEAD THE BAND YOURSELF.
Last edited by CrawlingHorror at Jul 26, 2011,
It's only worth it if you think it is, if you see the potential of what's there then it can be worth it, but it's probably going to take a lot of work. If you don't like where the band is going, of course it wouldn't be worth it.

Band leaders, to me, see the potential and have a vision of where the band could go and are the ones that do a lot of dirty work to see that potential filled. They may write most of the material, or see to it that material is being written, they make sure that everybody does the homework and that everybody has a ride and gets to practice, as well as a lot of other little things that most bands take for granted.
Oct. 20th, 2009: New guitar AND front row for Mars Volta.

Quote by denizenz
Is that a ukulele in your pants, or did you just rip ass to the tune of "Aloha Oi"?

I met Sonic Youth on June 30th, and Mars Volta on Oct 20th.