Poll: Your poop time?
Poll Options
View poll results: Your poop time?
Under 30 sec, I squeeze it right out.
5 9%
A good minute, no more.
12 22%
Somewhere between 3 and 5 minutes
15 27%
5 to 10 minutes.
13 24%
15 minutes or so.
5 9%
20 minutes or more.
5 9%
Voters: 55.
#1
Sorry for the grotesque nature of this question; I am prepared for an immediate close, and/or responses such as "wtf dude, what are you thinking about all day??!" but frankly I've always wanted to see what people say because, for this particular action, I think us humans vary so widely, so why not put up a poll about it?

Well?
Quote by Overlord
It's not hard to be nice, but it's nice to be hard
#4
Usually it depends. If I'm having stomach problems, it tends to either be under 30 seconds (It just rips me a new asshole and flushes itself) or over 10 minutes (I have to go very bad and have to squeeze the bastard out)
If it's a normal day, usually about 5 - 10 minutes. Depending on how bad I have to go/been holding it in.
Quote by DonGlover

You look like a young Eugene Levy, but with a moustache.

Quote by slapsymcdougal
Quote by Dreadnought
Kicking a man when he's down, I'm proud of you

When they're down is the safest time.

Soundcloud
Sharks Stanley Cup 15-16
Sharks Stanley Cup 16-17,,,,?
#6
Usually 2-3 mins.
Sometimes I have a Phantom Jobby though and It takes me about 30 seconds.
On playing the Paul Gilbert signature at the guitar store extensively, my missus sighed:
"Put it down now, It's like you love that guitar more than me!"
In Which I replied.
"Well it has got two F-Holes!"
#8
Usually ill sit down and get comfortable for about minute or so make sure ive got toilet paper and such

then ill sit and wait a bit

usually takes a minute to come out

then ill check see what ive got there

maybe wait a minute in case theres any extra

then wipe, flush and wash hands
Quote by The Spoon
Unless you're sure she likes you, telling her you like her has a 110% chance of failing.

But hey, at least you have a 10% chance of absolutely guaranteeing failure.
#9
I take my phone in there, often masturbate, get caught up texting and stuff, often around 40 minutes. It's my daily fix, I make 90% of my decisions on the shitter.
Quote by slash11896
I picked up my guitar this morning and started playing next thing i know i cant stop playing In the key of A, the first letter or her name, I ended up recording a whole song in A.


Quote by WhiskeyFace
I like women with balls.
#10
bout 15 minutes considering its th eonly time i ever get any privacy and most of those 15 minutes are me thinking about important things really takes me less than 5 minutes
#12
"Poop is never finished, only abandoned"-Leonardo da Vinci
Quote by the_white_bunny
the point of life is to die.
and pay taxes.


Quote by /PurpleWhalez/
Blasphemy as severe as this is fucking unforgivable and by bullshito code you must commit sudoku for disgracing famirys honoru.
#13
You asked for it. The actual pooping process can on average take upto 20 seconds to 1 minute depending on how congested I am. THen if any little straglers have to come out they will. The other 30 minutes is spent playing my gameboy.
#14
Quote by hr113
"Poop is never finished, only abandoned"-Leonardo da Vinci


"Tr00 dat" - oscar wilde
Quote by Night
wtf is a selfie? is that like, touching yourself or something?
#15
It depends on the size, shape, texture, and amount that wants to come out.

Sometimes it takes forever. Like the ones that you can't force out by pushing, and have to patiently sit and wait for it to come out on it's own.
#16
Quote by Stugg334
I take my phone in there, often masturbate, get caught up texting and stuff, often around 40 minutes. It's my daily fix, I make 90% of my decisions on the shitter.


That's naaasty.
#18
i have crohn's disease, so 6 days.

can anybody beat that

wait for it

shit?
"I specialize in driving a set like I'm driving a Lexus" - Uncle Mez
#19
Quote by supersac
bout 15 minutes considering its th eonly time i ever get any privacy and most of those 15 minutes are me thinking about important things really takes me less than 5 minutes


Hey we have the same pooping routine.
Gear:
Schecter C-1 Elite
Squier Strat
Fender Acoustic
Line 6 POD XT-Live
Blackstar HT-1 Combo
#21
I squeeze it right out, it takes like 5 seconds. No joke. If you guys need more than a minute you either need to drink more water, eat more fiber, or both.
#22
Quote by Poglia
I squeeze it right out, it takes like 5 seconds. No joke. If you guys need more than a minute you either need to drink more water, eat more fiber, or both.



Sorry, captain exlax, but I like to take my time