#1
crit4crit
DRAMATIC BREAKDOWN

I feel so uninspired
Everything I write is so cliche
But that's alright with me
Mediocrity gets me paid
No one cares about the message
Just the smile on the messenger
I don't need to find the right words
Just the right clothes and
A Hollywood hairdresser

If you want to live the dream
Your mind must be comatose
Damn right I'm a sellout
I sellout all my shows

It's about getting paid
Getting laid
Girl you're my world
What more can I say
Maybe I should tell you
That I'm jaded by the darkness
Oh man that sounds deep
Choreographed emotion
Deep as any ocean
Deep as my pockets are going to be

If you want to live the dream
Your mind must be comatose
Damn right I'm a sellout
I sellout all my shows

Gotta keep them dancing
Gotta keep them buying
Dramatic breakdown
Can't you hear my crying

Oh your tears are like diamonds
Money in the bank

If you want to live the dream
Your mind must be comatose
Damn right I'm a sellout
I sellout all my shows
#2
This is the first time I didn't like something of yours.

Not to say it's not good, but I've never been a fan of the self-aware pieces, this one just struck me as too sarcastic. It served as good commentary but idk. Maybe I'm just not in the mood for that haha

Sorry I can't be more constructive right now.
#3
I'm with Blake. I usually like reading your stuff, but this was just too...in your face obvious/cliche? I understand that that's the point, but it just wasn't interesting to read, becuase it was soooo obvious. The topic has potential, but it needs a little spice.
#4
I agree with the above posters. I've never been a fan of this topic in general, and this piece did nothing new or interesting with it; it just employs the same cliche lines and ideas as people usually use when writing on this topic.