#1
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dXYFtvftk6E

Just a minute recording of what I'm working on. Let me know what you think. I'm heavily Chevelle influenced, just saying.

Lyrics.
How low (x3)
I found a lie, in your faith
i don't need it, i just want it all
I want it all (x4) <--This is what i had an idea of on the chorus, but i'm not so sure of it?
Say it,
#2
nice i actually like your voice...which is more than i can say for my own

it flows nicely id like to hear a finished version of this

if you want click on ma link(i was high when i recorded and then uploaded the last one...shh)
Last edited by supersac at Jul 28, 2011,
#3
I liked it. Vocals were a little pitchy but nothing that can't be fixed with more practice.
I think if you had other instruments / backup vocals come in on the "I want it all" part you'd have yourself a hell of a chorus
Cool chord progression, I'll be interested to hear the full song.
C4C?
https://www.ultimate-guitar.com/forum/showthread.php?t=1465105
American Circus
Like the White Stripes, RHCP, or Cage the Elephant? Check out mah band!
#4
HERE WE GO

nice rhythm goin along, I like your acoustic sound. Your VOCALS aren't PITCH PERFECT but to be honest I think it really meshes nice with style of music you're doing. The little screams a nice touch!KEEP GOING i like your sparse lyrics. you should finish this song in two days and post the results. I would try and alternate the rhythmic pattern for the next verse to come, just chill out the texture.


return the luv, my bruv

https://www.ultimate-guitar.com/forum/showthread.php?t=1464675

sub on the YT and they will too
Don't tell me what can not be done

Don't tell me what can be done, either.



I love you all no matter what.
#5
I would finish it before you post it. let me ask you this, do you like it?
http://richmusic.dmusic.com

"Those who dream by night, in the dusty recesses of their minds wake in the day to find that all was vanity; but dreamers of the day are dangerous men, for they may act their dream with open eyes, and make it possible."
#7
Quote by supersac
nice i actually like your voice...which is more than i can say for my own

it flows nicely id like to hear a finished version of this

if you want click on ma link(i was high when i recorded and then uploaded the last one...shh)



thank you. i did click on your link and listened to a few, my favorite was the latest one, the fish one lol :p


Quote by kraftmacaroni
I liked it. Vocals were a little pitchy but nothing that can't be fixed with more practice.
I think if you had other instruments / backup vocals come in on the "I want it all" part you'd have yourself a hell of a chorus
Cool chord progression, I'll be interested to hear the full song.
C4C?
https://www.ultimate-guitar.com/forum/showthread.php?t=1465105


Agreed but right now I don't have a drummer or bassist, just myself :| Thank you for listening, I'll check out your thread.


Quote by nightwind
HERE WE GO

nice rhythm goin along, I like your acoustic sound. Your VOCALS aren't PITCH PERFECT but to be honest I think it really meshes nice with style of music you're doing. The little screams a nice touch!KEEP GOING i like your sparse lyrics. you should finish this song in two days and post the results. I would try and alternate the rhythmic pattern for the next verse to come, just chill out the texture.


return the luv, my bruv

https://www.ultimate-guitar.com/forum/showthread.php?t=1464675

sub on the YT and they will too


Thanks, that's my biggest thing personally is the vocal melody. I find myself lost a lot in trying to fit one that I personally enjoy, so I tried to keep it simple. The verses not so much, but trying to fit a chorus with a melody I like is so challenging. But everyone is their own biggest critic. This was kind of a spur of the moment song, so I really haven't had too much time to put the lyrics together. Thats one other thing I'm currently having trouble with is finding a different pattern. Thanks for listening very much, I'll check out your thread.


Quote by rich2k4
I would finish it before you post it. let me ask you this, do you like it?


yes honestly, it's my favorite original thing so far that i have done. i do care too much about what other people think of the things i create though, thus being why i posted it before finishing it. :\ the only really solid thing i like about this so far is the chord progression, i still feel that i haven't found my voice.


Quote by pagosapig
Its a pretty cool song, i agree, I like the little screams. I think the final version should be really good. The lyrics seem a little simple, but sometimes thats just what people need. very nice. I like the chord progressions.

c4c? https://www.ultimate-guitar.com/forum/showthread.php?t=1464865


Thanks a lot for listening, and I agree with the lyrics. I will check out your thread definitely! :]

Thanks again everyone for listening.
#8
I like your voice almost as much as I hate mine. That's saying something. It's not pitch-perfect but it works and the little screams are a nice touch.

As others have said, the sparse lyrics definitely work for the style of this song.

I like the chord progression, but I'd definitely switch it up a bit during your next verses. If the song's in the 3-minute range this one progression would get tedious. Change it up a bit and you'll be fine though.

Let me know what you think of this?
https://www.ultimate-guitar.com/forum/showthread.php?t=1465490
#9
next time, i would make sure to work on it until you are satisfied with what you have, and then post it for comments.

you have to remember that songwriting is very subjective. so you may have one person who completely hates it. but another person who thinks it is gold. First thing that matters is whether you like it or not. Then it's a matter of if the right person likes it.
http://richmusic.dmusic.com

"Those who dream by night, in the dusty recesses of their minds wake in the day to find that all was vanity; but dreamers of the day are dangerous men, for they may act their dream with open eyes, and make it possible."
#10
It's always nice to see songwriters at their craft!

I like the "idea" of the song. The main guitar part is very interesting and sounds really nice on the acoustic, but it does get repetitive. I'm sure there'll be a lot of the changes to the song structure before it's done.

Your voice is very pleasant. Not pitch perfect, as many have noticed, but it is perfect for the alternative rock thing you've got going. However, I do feel that you're too eager to start yelling and screaming. What you've got so far is a good intro and half of a first verse. I don't think you need to bust out the screaming vocals until the song has built up enough for it.

Do you intend to redo the guitar part on an electric?

I'm looking forward to the final result! Hope this helped

c4c
https://www.ultimate-guitar.com/forum/showthread.php?t=1461784
#12
Quote by rich2k4
next time, i would make sure to work on it until you are satisfied with what you have, and then post it for comments.

you have to remember that songwriting is very subjective. so you may have one person who completely hates it. but another person who thinks it is gold. First thing that matters is whether you like it or not. Then it's a matter of if the right person likes it.


agreed, and thank you for reminding me of this. i've been tempted quite a few times to put up again what I have so far on this, but I'm waiting till it's finished to update the thread with the final, it's coming though.


Quote by AeolianInvasion
It's always nice to see songwriters at their craft!

I like the "idea" of the song. The main guitar part is very interesting and sounds really nice on the acoustic, but it does get repetitive. I'm sure there'll be a lot of the changes to the song structure before it's done.

Your voice is very pleasant. Not pitch perfect, as many have noticed, but it is perfect for the alternative rock thing you've got going. However, I do feel that you're too eager to start yelling and screaming. What you've got so far is a good intro and half of a first verse. I don't think you need to bust out the screaming vocals until the song has built up enough for it.

Do you intend to redo the guitar part on an electric?

I'm looking forward to the final result! Hope this helped

c4c
https://www.ultimate-guitar.com/forum/showthread.php?t=1461784



Thank you for listening. I have changed up the guitar parts a bit and finally came up with a chorus. I've changed up the vocals as well, I really didn't realize that I just had one vocal melody for all of the verse, so I've been throwing in a few changes to it to add some spice to the verses. And yes, if it would sound good I was just yell and scream the whole time :p but, that wouldn't sound good to me. And yes, every song I write, I plan on eventually putting it on electric, with a band that I will find sometime. This did help, thank you, I will get to your thread asap.

Quote by aaron aardvark
PENG,
This reminds me of Nirvana (this is a compliment). Singing's pretty good & I like the guitar chords. Audio quality could be better, but not bad for a youtube video. Keep at it man! Please review my music at this link:

https://www.ultimate-guitar.com/forum/showthread.php?t=1465574


Lol thanks. I thought it kind of sounded like Nirvana too, although that's not what I was aiming for, I'm okay with it. I will check yours out asap as well!