#1
Bored at 3 in the morning. Mucking around on my guitar. Came up with a couple little riffs and improvised some lyrics to go along with it. The guitar is uploaded on my profile if anyone would like to listen to that along with it. Lyrics start as soon as the guitar is played. Obviously not finished, and I'm open to constructive criticism for both the guitar and lyrics.

Words she said, she said to me
coming down, coming down
Such a harsh reality
Coming down, coming down

Wanna stay up on this cloud
Coming down, coming down
Never made my parents proud
coming down, coming down

But why does it even matter
anyway?
All common sense is out the door

I watch these people every
single day
Nothing has ever seemed so sure

[Random instrumental thing 12 measures or bars or somethings]

Remember what we did
When we were young?
Maybe it's time
to forget

Nothing is real
anymore
Everything is just
counterfeit
Last edited by Permaphrost at Jul 29, 2011,
#2
Quote by Permaphrost
Bored at 3 in the morning. Mucking around on my guitar. Came up with a couple little riffs and improvised some lyrics to go along with it. The guitar is uploaded on my profile if anyone would like to listen to that along with it. Lyrics start as soon as the guitar is played. Obviously not finished, and I'm open to constructive criticism for both the guitar and lyrics.

Words she said, she said to me
coming down, coming down
Such a harsh reality
Coming down, coming down

Wanna stay up on this cloud
Coming down, coming down
Never made my parents proud
coming down, coming down


I love the first two stanzas and feel like I want more of that - you invite me in and make me curious about the things that bring you down: what else does? (and the music works with it, too). I'm a particular fan of repeating phrases such as "coming down" and like how you use it. Love to see more.
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