#1
A very hip-hop inspired piece I wrote about a month ago. I also make a few references to some artists I like, see if you can find them.


I have a confession of obsession
I dream of self esteem because we wish
for things that we lack but need
There was a time I beamed with pride
and I was happy but now
it only seems like I am satisfied and pleased
Cross my heart, hope to die
Stick a needle in my eye and I’ll cry
just like the way I didn’t when my grandmother died
I wish I knew why I didn’t try
I could’ve had a chance, it wouldn’t have been
the final goodbye, but now it’s too late and I’ve fooled myself
The casket’s closed, everyone has left
and you’re already dead
physically, but not inside my head
You never left, you’ve always been there
smiling with your eyes and shining with your smile
I keep telling myself it’ll just be a while
But it’s been a while or two and nothing has changed
Oh no, I just lied, everything has changed
Consumed with depression, or perhaps consuming it
You sent me an encoded transmission
that I deciphered into submission
Forever in a fetal position
I am spineless and growing mindless
with each day the sun sets, and I wait to see it rise
Only lonely people are awake at night
trying find a sense of purpose I’ll never find
because I had one but you made me lose it
When I look in the mirror I have to close my eyes
so I don’t see myself sigh, I just need to hear it
After I’ve fired my .45
I can’t climb into my hole in the sky
Heaven’s only for people who have died
I can only empathize with sympathy
because I’ve never been there
I just try to see what it would be like
to live a life unfair
Yet I still manage to bitch and whine
despite having a roof over my head
while I sit and dine on food that’s fine
There is nothing wrong with me, except that’s the problem
The sad singers play tragic
just like how I try to be toxic
You caused it
You created me to destroy me
Like a domino rally, it either works out it doesn’t
No matter the outcome, you’re left with a mess to clean up

I am a coward, I am a pussy
I am disappointing and void of creativity
I am a liar, I am an act
always reading from a script and calling it fact
I am a tool, I am a task
never being completed, I just change my mask
I am complete and I am broken
I will never forget those last words you’ve spoken
#2
This is very creative. It has an interesting story to it.
But in some parts I get lost in the writing. Maybe separating the big paragraph will make it a bit more manageable.
This piece has a lot of potential. In my opinion it just needs to flow a bit more.
I hope this helped!