#1
This is my first post, also my first piece of literature, so please help me out here

"Break off the strings,
With your creativity in hand.
Clean up the residue;
Twist around the pegs.

Precision and control.
Grace under pressure.
Change up the rules.
They're made to be broken."
#2
This has potential to it. I prefer the second stanza to the first. And, much like my latest piece, the title is too obvious. I think the title really takes away from the piece because it's too "THIS IS WHAT I'M WRITING ABOUT" you know? We don't need you to tell us that bluntly. That's just my opinion though. It's not bad.
#3
^ I second that completely. I would have been a lot more intrigued if you had been more cryptic with the title, and let the piece itself do the talking.
Being blunt and being effectively creative don't usually mix. Not never - rarely.

As for the piece itself, it seems good. If it was longer and you got into what you are trying to say I think it would draw me in more.
Obviously it's a WIP, so I hope you finish it.
#4
Thanks guys I didn't expect anyone to critique my lyrics so thanks a lot for taking your time to do that.
#5
nice short piece but you may want to expand it too with great length and also make it more layered an indepth. but its a good start though because to get the direct pieces there. but in this piece you have the creative words there that has a nice flow. i usually break my strings as well when tuning from standard to open g, its always that last string. other than that good start with this piece. good luck.