#1
I didn't know which forum to put this in, so here goes nothing...

So this might sound like I'm joking, but often times while playing a gig, in the middle the awesome confidence boost that surges when you're ripping the neck apart, the body of the guitar presses against "that" area and triggers a manly reaction--which is normally a source of pride, but it distracts me from playing properly and kind of makes me hold my guitar at a weird angle (or else I myself very uncomfortable). I've tried wankin it before gigging to kind of get it all out, but it doesn't really work. The only other thing I've thought of was an athletic cup, that that's uncomfortable.. advice? I'm sure I'm not the only guy who has ever gotten a rager while holding a guitar.
Epi Sheraton II or MIA FSR strat > wah Q535 > fuzzface > Keeley C4 > Qtron > Whammy > Liquid Chorus > Triboost > Hotcake > BigMuff > Small Stone > VolumePlus > SpaceEcho > Cathedral Reverb > LoFi > MemoryMan > BYOC vibrato > DD-7 > Vox AC15 C1
#3
put a sock over it whip that shit out as part of your performance.
"Dream as if you'll live forever. Live as if you'll die today."
#5
Hit a certain level of maturity that allows you to not get a boner from a piece of wood rubbing it on the outside of your jeans... Seriously? That's a freshman thing man, god forbid you should ever ride in a bumpy car, that might really set you off.
Better, Faster, Stronger

Kansas City Chiefs

Kansas State Wildcats
Quote by airbrendie
Hey guys in the last 3 weeks I ****ed all the girls in this picture, what do you think?

#6
Seriously... it's just that the guitar presses against me like my gf does... and so... yah.....

Also, sock's kind of big and floppy.... but I think I can cut the middle finger out of a snow glove? Still, that doesn't solve my angling issue
Epi Sheraton II or MIA FSR strat > wah Q535 > fuzzface > Keeley C4 > Qtron > Whammy > Liquid Chorus > Triboost > Hotcake > BigMuff > Small Stone > VolumePlus > SpaceEcho > Cathedral Reverb > LoFi > MemoryMan > BYOC vibrato > DD-7 > Vox AC15 C1
#9
Your gf presses against you like a rigid hunk of wood? This is getting really queer really fast. Reported.
Better, Faster, Stronger

Kansas City Chiefs

Kansas State Wildcats
Quote by airbrendie
Hey guys in the last 3 weeks I ****ed all the girls in this picture, what do you think?

#10
Quote by VanTheKraut
Hit a certain level of maturity that allows you to not get a boner from a piece of wood rubbing it on the outside of your jeans... Seriously? That's a freshman thing man, god forbid you should ever ride in a bumpy car, that might really set you off.




to op, i think every guy has encountered something like that, so please understand people are laughing because you posted a question that should not have been posted.
#11
lmfao this is great! i dont think hes been serious this is ridiculous.
GEARZ

Schecter Hellraiser
TS 808 modded tubescreamer
MXR six band EQ
boss DD-3 digital delay
Boss CE-5 Chorus Ensemble
ISP Decimator
1998 Marshall JCM2000 DSL 100
Avatar 4x12
#12
Quote by VanTheKraut
Hit a certain level of maturity that allows you to not get a boner from a piece of wood rubbing it on the outside of your jeans... Seriously? That's a freshman thing man, god forbid you should ever ride in a bumpy car, that might really set you off.

this...
Quote by Pan-Tallica
Quote by jrcsgtpeppers
But theres no reason why i cant be free like a raspberry stuck to the back of a horny elephants ass.

This is maybe the worst comparison in the history of comparisons.
#13
I'm glad you guys are having fun with this... meanwhile I think I've sound a solution: I have to wear my guitar so that the bottom curve of the strat is clearly above my waist... looks kinda goofy, but no more than propping the guitar with my leg so I can play comfortably...


for the guys saying I need to grow up: I know in 20 years it'll be an underused floppy appendage, but right now I'm 23, in my sexual prime... I can't help it
Epi Sheraton II or MIA FSR strat > wah Q535 > fuzzface > Keeley C4 > Qtron > Whammy > Liquid Chorus > Triboost > Hotcake > BigMuff > Small Stone > VolumePlus > SpaceEcho > Cathedral Reverb > LoFi > MemoryMan > BYOC vibrato > DD-7 > Vox AC15 C1
Last edited by cheeekens at Aug 2, 2011,
#14
Ohh Burn
Gear:

Gibson 2005 Les Paul Standard
Fender Road Worn Strat w/ Noiseless pickups
Marshall JCM 2000 401C
Marshall Vintage Modern 2266
Marshall 1960A cab (Dave Hill from Slade's old cab)
Ibanez TS9DX
EHX Little Big Muff
Freshman Acoustic
#15
Quote by cheeekens

for the guys saying I need to grow up: I know in 20 years it'll be an underused floppy appendage, but right now I'm 23, in my sexual prime... I can't help it


...Dude, I'm 19. I'm SUPPOSED to be a horny teenager, and I've never popped a boner when my guitar brushes up against my dick.
Kodiak bears make awesome bandmates.

Quote by wolvenrick
no seriously 7x NGD is epicness i declare you the winner of all NGD's on UG never have i seen this xD
#16
wear a cup
HILT!

Where's Waldo?

#19
duct tape man.
Jumping on dat gear sig train.
PRS Hollowbody II / BKP Warpigs
Strandberg OS6T / BKP Aftermath
Strandberg OS7 / Lace Poopsticks
Skervesen Raptor 7FF / BKP Warpigs
Skervesen Raptor 6 NTB / BKP Juggernauts
Hapas Sludge 7 FF / Hapas Leviathan
Anderson Baritom / Motorcity Nuke BKP Sinner Anderson H2+
Warmoth Baritone / BKP Piledriver
Ibanez Rg2120x / BKP Nailbomb

Blackstar ID:Core Beam
#20
This thread reminds me of being 15 years old and getting random boners in school than being asked to write something on the board. Im happy to be 21 nd not get random boners...
Ibanez RG1550 Prestige
Schecter C1 Hellraiser
MIJ Ibanez Pro-line 1550
Takamine eg340c
Peavey 6505+ 112 combo
Ibanez Tubescreamer TS- 9
ISP Decimator
MXR M234 Analog Chorus
DeltaLab Digital Delay
Planet Waves Tuner Pedal
POD HD300
#21
think of your guitar neck as an extension of your wang and rock that as confidently as possible
[img]http://cdn.gs.uproxx.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/05/v.gif[/img]
#22
Quote by cheeekens
Seriously... it's just that the guitar presses against me like my gf does... and so... yah.....

Also, sock's kind of big and floppy.... but I think I can cut the middle finger out of a snow glove? Still, that doesn't solve my angling issue

Sounds hardcore, if you pardon the expression. Someone get Mr. Levenstein in here!
Quote by luxeion
i keep asking my dad for wood. but he keeps getting annoyed (he's working on a house). and i'm too young to go outside.

#24
Quote by Bongmaster
put a sock over it whip that shit out as part of your performance.


^ This hahaha. I got a boner from just looking at a guitar..Although I have never had your problem....hmm I have no idea what you can do about getting a boner on stage when playing guitar...I have never before in my life heard of that happening. Maybe try loose pants? Or tucking it? Whatever works for you.
#25
Quote by VanTheKraut
Your gf presses against you like a rigid hunk of wood? This is getting really queer really fast. Reported.




BEST POST IN THREAD.

/nuffsaid.
#26
Wait! Why not just dip your whole package in a bucket of ice cold water until they turn blue and crawl up into your stomach? Should do the trick nicely.
Quote by luxeion
i keep asking my dad for wood. but he keeps getting annoyed (he's working on a house). and i'm too young to go outside.

Last edited by StrykVladzimsky at Aug 2, 2011,
#27
Seriously guys, some of you never got a boner because of your guitar?
Quote by YouTube user
Hey it's Alek from Chillin in Bodom and ears a lick for bitch who can't play dicks.


#28
Pull it out and try and use it as a pic.
Yamaha FG700S
LTD EC-1000 MGO
Agile 3k
Laney Cub 15w Head with 2x12 cab
Vox VT 20+
#31
Stare into someone's eyes until it goes away. Like a boss.
Music Man JPX 6
Ibanez RGT220H
Fender 50th Anniversary Deluxe Strat
93 Jackson Std Professional (Japan)
03 Gibson LP Special
Alvarez AD60SC

Mesa Single Rectifier/Mesa 4x12 cab
Mesa Transatlantic TA-15
Hughes & Kettner Triplex
#32
So wood touches your wood and you like it?

TS, out of the closet much?
I Like Orange......

Wobble Wobble Wub Wub Dakka Dakka
#33
Well in order to give you the right advice OP, I will need more info. How long is your penis, and how thick (girth) is it? I need to know this to see which product will help tone your problem down.
#34
I'm an idiot and I accidentally clicked the "Remove all subscriptions" button. If it seems like I'm ignoring you, I'm not, I'm just no longer subscribed to the thread. If you quote me or do the @user thing at me, hopefully it'll notify me through my notifications and I'll get back to you.
Quote by K33nbl4d3
I'll have to put the Classic T models on my to-try list. Shame the finish options there are Anachronism Gold, Nuclear Waste and Aged Clown, because in principle the plaintop is right up my alley.

Quote by K33nbl4d3
Presumably because the CCF (Combined Corksniffing Forces) of MLP and Gibson forums would rise up against them, plunging the land into war.

Quote by T00DEEPBLUE
Et tu, br00tz?
#35
Quote by Dave_Mc


indeeed, lol
Quote by RetroGunslinger
using nines for drop C# is like stringing the guitar with spaghetti


My Colourful Rig:
ESP M-ii Deluxe
ENGL E570
Mesa/Boogie Simul 295 Stereo
Framus FR212 v30
#37
Quote by Steve635z
Why hasn't someone posted 'Not sure if serious?'


cuz it's not funny in this situation....

We all know he is really serious
Quote by RetroGunslinger
using nines for drop C# is like stringing the guitar with spaghetti


My Colourful Rig:
ESP M-ii Deluxe
ENGL E570
Mesa/Boogie Simul 295 Stereo
Framus FR212 v30
#38
Your girlfriend is a flat piece of wood? She has wooden planks for hands?

DETAILS MAN, DETAILS.
Such is posting in Soviet Russia