Smart, Sexy Spiritual Goddess Desired for Relationship with Extraordinary Man

#1
I posted this guy's site a couple years back, and much hilarity ensued. I am posting it again because since then a whole new dimension has been added to the ridiculousness: prostitution.



Hi! I'm Mark. Thanks for visiting my website.

I am a deeply spiritual gentleman, who is looking for a true Goddess for life-long intimate relationship and awesome (but unconventional) marriage. She is HIGHLY intelligent, VERY beautiful/sexy, and DEEPLY spiritual.

And she is a Prostitute* or a former Prostitute. Actually, she is (or formerly was) a Sacred Prostitute—I define that term below.

I want a powerful, liberated woman. She is THRILLED by the prospect of the work she and I will do together as a couple to tear down the ridiculous belief that prostitution is "immoral" and to teach society that prostitution is instead a good thing (indeed a very good thing) that is greatly needed for the benefit of society. As discussed below, we will change the laws.** And we will teach Prostitutes to become Sacred Prostitutes.


About Me:

Gallant. INTENSELY romantic. Perfect gentleman.

6-1, 180, 60. Deep, calm, sexy voice (women LOVE my voice).

Extremely brilliant. Extremely creative. Well educated. Visionary. Renaissance Man. Wise.

Balls. Obviously—otherwise I could not have put up this website!

Extremely passionate tantra master who does not ejaculate (except on rare occasions). Stays fully hard through multiple male orgasms without ejaculating. Can and will genuinely DELIVER "so many times you lose count," as stated above. Vasectomy.

Extensive experience sexually worshipping Prostitutes* and transforming them, at least for a brief time, into Goddesses. Most Prostitutes rarely (if ever) have orgasms during sex with their clients, and they are astonished to receive powerful, multiple, full-body orgasms from a client (me). I make Prostitutes feel HAPPY and PROUD about the work they do, and I teach them to bless their clients. Many have fallen in love with me. Huge topic.


Death to Ovation haters!
#3
oh dear god.
TABBERS WANTED
If you are interested, and are up to it, please PM me for more info on the song.
Yes, it's just one song in particular, theres no shredding or fast solos.
It is a mellow, instrumental, clean, song.
#6
Oh god here we go again
Begin again in the night, let's sway again tonight.
Your arm on my shoulder, your cheek against mine.
Where can we go, when will we find that, we know.
#10
Old.
Quote by Pleasure2kill
The truth is, Muslims never apologized for their faith having something to do with the attacks on 9/11.
#12
"She is NOT a Scientologist"

Hahahahahahahahahah hahahaha har har har
#14
I'm kind of surprised so many people remember this. A couple years is a lifetime in Pit years.
Death to Ovation haters!
#15
Oh god this is great
No gods or kings. There is only zuul.
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Now police, fire, and EMS vehicle's sirens sound in tritones. Suck it Christians, your protectors are satans minions.


I have been sigged by UG's Greek, what have YOU done today?
#16
Lol I remember this dude.


What exactly is a "Sacred Prostitute" anyway ? He's being pretty vague. A bird that likes a good dicking and wants to . . . change the laws . . .?
#18
Quote by PeZ546
I remember this guy's site having a bunch of references to transforming society to THE LIGHT, or something. Wonder how that went?

Yeah, his plan for all political problems was to transform them into LIGHT (always in caps). I wish he'd bring that back.
Death to Ovation haters!
#19
Quote by PatchworkMan
Yeah, his plan for all political problems was to transform them into LIGHT (always in caps). I wish he'd bring that back.



Did he ever define what the "LIGHT" was?
#23
I remember him claiming he was about to revolutionize the computer industry and subsequently bring about world peace. But his 'revolutionary technology' was basically a database with a GUI that looked like Windows 3.1.

Seriously though, this guy is a legend. Such a shame that things have yet to work out for him.

I mean, who would think that, even in this day and age; creating a website filled with crazy shit STILL isn't enough to land you a hot chick?!
#24
i remember this, i died in the last thread. please let this thread be just as good.
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AWWWWWWWWW FUCK NAW!!!!!!!



ಠ_ಠ
#25
Isn't he a computer scientist too?

I remember some epic shoops with his photos lol

,--.-'-,--.
\ /-~-\ /
/ )' a a `( \
( ( ,---. ) )
THIS WAS MEANT TO BE A PIG
\ `(_o_o_)' /
\ `-' /
| |---| |
[_] [_]
#26
Well, as insane as this guy is, I have to say that this:

Many people (and many religions) mistakenly view sex entirely from a material perspective. Consequently, many people with high spiritual aspirations mistakenly believe that celibacy is essential for attaining enlightenment. And for those who have relatively little interest in sex, the path of celibacy is just fine. But for intensely sexual people, celibacy is a path to emotional distress rather than joy.


is actually pretty intelligent
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I love you



Who's in a bunker?
Who's in a bunker?
Women and children first
And the children first
And the children
#27
Quote by namesroverrated
Well, as insane as this guy is, I have to say that this:


is actually pretty intelligent


Nah, that's nothing new. Even the Catholics don't preach no-sex-except-for-babymaking anymore.
Death to Ovation haters!
#29
May each woman who replies to this ad be PERMANENTLY surrounded by Angels of God and a Shield of Light that admits only Light, Love, Beauty, Joy, Wisdom, Truth, and Divinity into her body, mind, heart and soul, and that reflects back and ABSOLUTELY PROTECTS her from anything that is not of God regardless of how "well intended" or "spiritual" or "common sensical" its source may appear to be. May SHE, and may ALL her thoughts about me, and may EACH AND EVERY aspect of her interactions with me (including all electronic, software and database systems by which we communicate), and may our relationship (in whatever form it takes), be ABSOLUTELY PROTECTED from any intrusion or interference or obstruction or harm whatsoever.


Amen!