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#1
I have this one friend who is a female-to-male transsexual. I've discussed the issue of gender with him many times (I'm referring to him as a he out of respect, if you disagree, deal with it) and there's something I just can't grasp. When asked, What do you mean you aren't a woman? He says, I just don't feel like one.

My question is, what does it mean to be male or female? As a gender and not a sex, obviously. They say sex is between the legs and gender is between the ears. What are you saying about yourself when you describe yourself as male or female? Are we just responding to society's definition of male or female?

I dunno, maybe I'm retarded, but I just don't get it. Personally I've never felt like it was relevant to my identity. If asked what gender I am, I would say female because that's what I've always said my entire life; that's how I've been trained. But when I think about it, I don't even know what it means to be one, at least not in the head. I'll probably edit this post later for clarification when replies start coming.
Quote by Ian_the_fox
You're not girly enough of a boy for me, and you're not man enough to take the top. So like, sorry bitch but you ain't mine! Sorry.
#2
To be a male is to have a penis and testicles and the proper hormones that result from having such things.

Anything else is prescribed by society.
#3
It means he feels like he should occupy the 'male social role', for lack of a better phrase.

Quote by blake1221
To be a male is to have a penis and testicles and the proper hormones that result from having such things.

Anything else is prescribed by society.
She's talking about gender, not sex. She made that abundantly clear.
#4
I'm male.
I am biologically, mentally and socially male.

If I refer to myself in the third person I use the male terms. That is how I define myself.

Had this argument with someone on here sort of.
If you refer to yourself as a cat, and everyone else refers to you as a cat. Are you a cat?
#5
Its pretty complicated and confusing. I'm a genderqueer as it is. Basically, I inhabit a gender gray area of "both and neither". However I have several Trans friends who ARE transitioning and its basically this: imagine waking up in the morning and looking in the mirror and realizing that somehow today you woke up in the body of the opposite sex. And you're stuck there. Thats how it feels.


This is a good thing to read: http://tranarchism.com/2010/11/26/not-your-moms-trans-101/

Also feel free to PM me about any specifics, I foresee this thread turning into a possible flame war and I'd like to avoid it.
Gear:
Fender Classic Series 50's Strat
Vox VT15 amp
Bongos


Quote by BillyRamone
Looks like Harry Potter about to fly an old biplane. A lady killer, but the ladies cannot figure out which state he's from - Indiana, or Pennsylvania?
Owns the under 5'2" hotties.
#6
I dunno, I don't feel (mentally, mind you) like a male or female if I really think about it. I mean, instincts and hormones dictate my urge to bang females, and other than that, I do things that are fairly unisex. I guess I do things that guys do more, like fishing and camping but that's just because of how our society is shaped I think.

EDIT: I'm really having trouble grasping the idea of mentally being a different gender. With the analogy of waking up in the opposite sex's body, I can't imagine thinking much other than how sweet it is to have boobs (immature, but whatever) and mentally I think I'd act the same. I'd be an tom boy of a girl for sure, but I don't think it would change me very much mentally. And if I had female hormones and instincts I'd probably like men.
Last edited by sglover34479 at Aug 3, 2011,
#7
Quote by due 07
It means he feels like he should occupy the 'male social role', for lack of a better phrase.

She's talking about gender, not sex. She made that abundantly clear.


You actually read the OP? :
#9
Quote by PowerOfGlove
I think male means having a dick and two balls? I'm not entirely sure though.
Again -- she is talking about gender, not sex.
#11
Quote by SeveralSpecies
I scratch my privates shamelessly. That's what makes you fit the male gender role!

Not a fan of the show but it reminded me of this:
To be vulnerable is needed most of all, if you intend to truly fall apart.


Quote by due 07
You have no idea how much I don't want to tell stories about my mother's vaginal slime on the internet.


I make music sometimes.
#12
Quote by due 07
Again -- she is talking about gender, not sex.


Okay fine. I think being of male gender and not male sex means having a dick and two balls. Jheeze.
#13
Quote by PowerOfGlove
Okay fine. I think being of male gender and not male sex means having a dick and two balls. Jheeze.



That's not what gender means.
#17
Quote by PowerOfGlove
Okay fine. I think being of male gender and not male sex means having a dick and two balls. Jheeze.
Then you are wrong. It's not a 'I think' thing, you just don't know what the difference between gender and sex is.
#21
You're a girl?!?!?!

I dunno, I'm a dude biologically, and in many ways I'm a dude mentally as well, but I've really never felt manly. I enjoy "girly" movies as much as I enjoy "manly" movies and, aside from the fact that I'm not brimming with testosterone and attempting to have sex with everything around me, I can behave like most guys in my age group (18-24, I'm 21). That said, the instant I'm away from anyone who'd have anything to say about it, I get so flamboyant you'd swear I was gay.

It's just who I am, it's who I'm comfortable being. It's not so much that I identify with the female gender, I just don't really identify with the traditional, societal definition of "man."
#23
Quote by PowerOfGlove
Okay fine. I think being of male gender and not male sex means having a dick and two balls. Jheeze.

So, if someone castrated you, you'd no longer be a male?

Please tell me you have more depth of thought than your freaking sex organs...
#24
Quote by sglover34479
I dunno, I don't feel (mentally, mind you) like a male or female if I really think about it. I mean, instincts and hormones dictate my urge to bang females, and other than that, I do things that are fairly unisex. I guess I do things that guys do more, like fishing and camping but that's just because of how our society is shaped I think.

EDIT: I'm really having trouble grasping the idea of mentally being a different gender. With the analogy of waking up in the opposite sex's body, I can't imagine thinking much other than how sweet it is to have boobs (immature, but whatever) and mentally I think I'd act the same. I'd be an tom boy of a girl for sure, but I don't think it would change me very much mentally. And if I had female hormones and instincts I'd probably like men.



Check out that link I posted and also keep in mind yeah, you'd have tits, your social role would be different, your hormones would be RADICALLY different and "instincts" is... an interesting term to use but not quite accurate because those hormones don't necessarily impact sexuality (or at least not by themselves). Also you'd have a vagina and your entire physiology would be altered. Your center of balance would be transferred from your chest (in males), to your hips. Your musculature would be different. You'd have a period. Its... not as simple as "boobs" or "penis". Its about the image of you in your head matching what you see on the outside.

You ever look in the mirror and say "damn maybe I should start working out" or see a zit that really bugs you? Well its like that times 1000. Because your entire body looks and feels out of place to you. In fact, it doesn't feel like you. It feels like you've been body snatched and put in someone else's skin.
Gear:
Fender Classic Series 50's Strat
Vox VT15 amp
Bongos


Quote by BillyRamone
Looks like Harry Potter about to fly an old biplane. A lady killer, but the ladies cannot figure out which state he's from - Indiana, or Pennsylvania?
Owns the under 5'2" hotties.
#26
Quote by PowerOfGlove
ISN'T!

Not sure if genuine or not....

Edit:
To be vulnerable is needed most of all, if you intend to truly fall apart.


Quote by due 07
You have no idea how much I don't want to tell stories about my mother's vaginal slime on the internet.


I make music sometimes.
#28
I totally called that this thread was going to disintegrate into flame war and trolling.
Gear:
Fender Classic Series 50's Strat
Vox VT15 amp
Bongos


Quote by BillyRamone
Looks like Harry Potter about to fly an old biplane. A lady killer, but the ladies cannot figure out which state he's from - Indiana, or Pennsylvania?
Owns the under 5'2" hotties.
#29
none of you seem to agree on what gender is. i'm male cos i have a male body and brain. my gender is dictated by this- male brain + male body= male gender. even if i did so-called feminine things, eg wearing makeup/women's clothes etc. i would still be male. the same in reverse applies for females

i don't understand enough about transexuality to describe that gender(s)
#30
Quote by PowerOfGlove
Is!


أنت متخلف إلى حدا كبيرا،و لقد إن كنت أمك، انني سوف أبكي ليلاً ونهاراً بسبب اخطائي في توليدك
#31
Quote by madbasslover
أنت متخلف إلى حدا كبيرا،و لقد إن كنت أمك، انني سوف أبكي ليلاً ونهاراً بسبب اخطائي في توليدك



"You are retarded to a great end, and if you have your mother, I will weep day and night because of my mistakes in Toledk"


...???

The hell does the second half mean?
#32
Quote by teh_goon
none of you seem to agree on what gender is. i'm male cos i have a male body and brain. my gender is dictated by this- male brain + male body= male gender. even if i did so-called feminine things, eg wearing makeup/women's clothes etc. i would still be male. the same in reverse applies for females


This is just completely incorrect. Please see my first two posts and the link I put here. If you don't have the attention span to read the link or if you still think this afterward, don't even bother replying to me because I'm not in the mood for a cisgendered elitist dictating to me his maleness.
Gear:
Fender Classic Series 50's Strat
Vox VT15 amp
Bongos


Quote by BillyRamone
Looks like Harry Potter about to fly an old biplane. A lady killer, but the ladies cannot figure out which state he's from - Indiana, or Pennsylvania?
Owns the under 5'2" hotties.
#33
Quote by SeveralSpecies
"You are retarded to a great end, and if you have your mother, I will weep day and night because of my mistakes in Toledk"


...???

The hell does the second half mean?


He's done this a few times. It doesn't copy over right.
#34
Quote by JTBach
Its pretty complicated and confusing. I'm a genderqueer as it is. Basically, I inhabit a gender gray area of "both and neither". However I have several Trans friends who ARE transitioning and its basically this: imagine waking up in the morning and looking in the mirror and realizing that somehow today you woke up in the body of the opposite sex. And you're stuck there. Thats how it feels.


This is a good thing to read: http://tranarchism.com/2010/11/26/not-your-moms-trans-101/

Also feel free to PM me about any specifics, I foresee this thread turning into a possible flame war and I'd like to avoid it.


I can't really understand what the problem would be, to be honest. If I woke up in a male body, but remained the same mentally, wouldn't trying to feminize myself be a reinforcement of gender roles?

Quote by sglover34479
I dunno, I don't feel (mentally, mind you) like a male or female if I really think about it. I mean, instincts and hormones dictate my urge to bang females, and other than that, I do things that are fairly unisex. I guess I do things that guys do more, like fishing and camping but that's just because of how our society is shaped I think.


That's how I feel. I have female body parts, and I'm straight, but other than that, I don't know what to say for myself. I hate being seen as a female for the sole reason that society takes me less seriously and I'm seen as less intelligent, but I'm indifferent about my sexual organs.
Quote by Ian_the_fox
You're not girly enough of a boy for me, and you're not man enough to take the top. So like, sorry bitch but you ain't mine! Sorry.
#35
Quote by SeveralSpecies
"You are retarded to a great end, and if you have your mother, I will weep day and night because of my mistakes in Toledk"


...???

The hell does the second half mean?

That's what I got.
Quote by madbasslover
أنت متخلف إلى حدا كبيرا،و لقد إن كنت أمك، انني سوف أبكي ليلاً ونهاراً بسبب اخطائي في توليدك



OT: We talked about this in Psychology class one day. I really don't remember much but if I remember it'll probably answer your question or not..maybe not...
To be vulnerable is needed most of all, if you intend to truly fall apart.


Quote by due 07
You have no idea how much I don't want to tell stories about my mother's vaginal slime on the internet.


I make music sometimes.
#36
Quote by madbasslover
أنت متخلف إلى حدا كبيرا،و لقد إن كنت أمك، انني سوف أبكي ليلاً ونهاراً بسبب اخطائي في توليدك


oh god, not you again.
#37
Quote by madbasslover
أنت متخلف إلى حدا كبيرا،و لقد إن كنت أمك، انني سوف أبكي ليلاً ونهاراً بسبب اخطائي في توليدك


What's that Lassie??

Infidels!?!?

May Allah smite them!!!
#38
I saw a nice video on TED about this once.

I feel like a boy because I was raised as one. If I wasn't, I feel I would be confused about myself and worse off, so I have no problems with that.
Click here to hear my BOB DYLAN (Blowing in the Wind) out right now May 2k17
#39
Quote by madbasslover
أنت متخلف إلى حدا كبيرا،و لقد إن كنت أمك، انني سوف أبكي ليلاً ونهاراً بسبب اخطائي في توليدك


مهلا أيها الوغد، أنت لست الوحيد الذي يمكن التحدث الهندية! الجحيم نعم الكلبة. Ooooh أراهن هذا هو مجموع
mindfuck لك الآن هاه؟ Wahahaha
#40
Quote by fail
I can't really understand what the problem would be, to be honest. If I woke up in a male body, but remained the same mentally, wouldn't trying to feminize myself be a reinforcement of gender roles?


That's how I feel. I have female body parts, and I'm straight, but other than that, I don't know what to say for myself. I hate being seen as a female for the sole reason that society takes me less seriously and I'm seen as less intelligent, but I'm indifferent about my sexual organs.



Did you click that link and read it? because thats REALLY what explains things. I'm afraid if that doesn't sum it up nothing will.

Honestly its just a feeling of not being "right". Its this very deep, emotional, feeling of wrongness in your body or your presentation. Its this sickening feeling in the pit of your stomach of "thats NOT who I am!"

For me, I counter that feeling by being gender ambidextrous. For others a complete physical change is necessary. But honestly its just this feeling that you were meant to be something else and sometimes this something ends up being the opposite gender.
Gear:
Fender Classic Series 50's Strat
Vox VT15 amp
Bongos


Quote by BillyRamone
Looks like Harry Potter about to fly an old biplane. A lady killer, but the ladies cannot figure out which state he's from - Indiana, or Pennsylvania?
Owns the under 5'2" hotties.
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