#1
This song is about solipsism.

Lyrics by Cody Gudmundsen

Perspicacity

My existence has no limits
True by spirit
Self divinity
I can feel infinity
From this real world deficiency

If I can feel, I can be
I am, but what is me?
By myself, through undertow
This is for only me to know
To reap what I sow

Selfish through thought
Yourself is naught
To me is what matters
For I am the only matter
In this realm where I am tatter

Could it very well be?
That I am just imaginary
If that is fact, I am free
In this mind of mine - this dead sea
To be as I please for all eternity
#3
"I can feel, I can be. I am, but what is me?" - I love that. A great song could come out of this (if it hasn't already). It's very intellectual, and those are the lyrics I enjoy reading.

My advice would just be to look at the 3rd section, the rhyming feels a little too forced and excessive, maybe because I don't really know the word "tatter" all that well. In your last section, see if you can rework the rhythms a little bit to flow smoothly, but otherwise this is really good stuff.

What are your plans for it?

EDIT: Looked up "tatter", it made me feel dumb. Check to make sure you're using the right tense there, I'm not sure if you meant "tattered"?
Last edited by Rockford_rocks at Aug 4, 2011,
#4
Thanks a lot, I really appreciate it.

I will definitely heed your advice! I'll give those sections a little close attention tonight.

I'm really not sure what I'm going to do with this, I've been trying to form a Metal band, and I've been trying to write lyrics for it. This was going to be a Metal song, but after I wrote it and read it a few times, it doesn't really have that vibe to me anymore. I was going for a Technical Death Metal kind of feel to the lyrics - introspective and heavy. But like I said, after I read it a few times, it doesn't hold that vibe with me. I guess I'll just give it time and see what I can come up with to justify the lyrics!