#1
Behind every man there is a woman
Just as under every rock there is moss
Or an ugly earthworm
Insipidly sticking his head out of the dirt to taste
The fresh summer air.

With love there’s a breeze
Like with trees and their leaves
Whistling and rustling through life
The sweet scent of lilacs and lily pads
The sound of slow growing corn and crickets singing
Swinging on a porch sit a husband and wife.

Time in love moves slower than the rest
A cat sleeping in the window
A newly planted seed
Love is a burgeoning flower
Not an infinitesimal weed.


Disclaimer:
I took a long time off from writing, about a year and a half and i've just started getting back in the swing of things, so i just want to ask that you forgive my roughness and my amatuer-ness. This is a first draft, it will be revised with y'all's help.
Thanks,
Courtney
#2
let me start out by saying two things - he would indeed hate this and I'm glad you started writing again, you have definite talent.

Although explaining love is an extremely overdone and boring topic, this is done fairly well. The imagery throughout and sensory details are phenomenal, which I think is your main strength. The flow is there, but it's nothing special, but it's not bad, which does not distract the reader at all, which is good!

The second stanza is good, but a bit confusing. Maybe a semicolon after "life" just to denote that an idea is changing, while still referencing it back to the beginning. Also, growing up around corn my whole life, the rustling of corn is a very distinct sound that I think you could expand more on - really bring out those sensory details because I think you're capable.

The third is also good (maybe a bit more punctuation, even a hyphen, semicolon, something. They go a long way). Not sure what else to say about it but I think it's a good ending to a poem.

Overall, very good for not writing for over a year! Of course with such a cliche topic that's been overdone, you'll run into reoccurring thoughts, but I think for the most part you avoided this.

I'd go through and read it out loud, naturally and then how you would want to read it to someone, and see where you think small punctuation marks could go.

If you don't mind taking the time, I just put up a piece I did yesterday And the life depletes as it makes its way and it'd be nice if you could take a look at it
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#3
We need to start a Wisconsin Writers club. I like everything my fellow cheeseheads put out.
OBEY THE MIGHTY SHITKICKER