#1
In an old-school 12 bar blues style:


I got rights, you wrote them down for me.
I got rights, you wrote them down for me.
I got rights, I got rights, wrote down for me,

if only I could read.


I got rights, you read them out to me.
Yeah I got rights, you read them out to me.
I got rights, I got rights, read out to me,

as you walked away with the key.


I got rights, you made them up for me.
I got rights, you made them up for me.
I got rights, I got rights, made up for me,

how nice of you,
to tell me I'm free.


(instrumental chorus)


I had rites, he read them out to me.
I had rites, read out by the priest.
I had rights, all my life, taken from me,

but finally I'm free.


X


C4C
#2
So what do you want to hear?
Nice lyrics, but i dont get what its about or where/when that happend.
#3
Hey man, I want to let you know I really enjoyed this, it's very typical 12-bar blues and fits the genre really well, so great job on that. It was very clever, which is something you can't really learn, so that's definitely good.

One major thing I had an issue with, however. I'm not sure I understand the line about walking away with the key. The key to what? If the meaning of this were more clear I feel like it would really add to the lyrics, because I'm sure you meant something significant by that. I think that the problem is that you knew what you meant in your head, but couldn't find the space or didn't bother to fully spell it out. Now I'm not saying to spell anything out for people-that's bad. I'm saying that as it is, it's too vague for me to understand because there's no real connections I can make between that line and anything else you've written. Don't worry, though, a lot of people tend to do this. Just next time remember that the reader isn't in your head! I want to say again though: don't get me wrong. I'm not saying you have to sit there and spell things out exactly for the listener or reader. Just make sure there's enough description of what you're talking about for them to get something out of it.

I like the idea though. Keep writing!
Today I feel electric grey
I hope tomorrow, neon black
#4
I chuckled to myself when I read this. Lyrically, it is fairly simple, but oh so clever.

I'm personally think that every line in the song was very clear, from the guy being told to read his rights despite his being illiterate, being read his rights as he was locked up in jail, being read his last rights as he was about to be executed, and finally being free.

I could certainly see this serving as a rallying cry during the Civil Rights Movement.

Excellent work!
"Notes are expensive, spend them wisely." - B.B. King