clanderson32
Registered User
Join date: Feb 2009
482 IQ
#1
Well this is my latest piece, imho a little more orginal in some places than some stuff out there. Its not yet complete and a few fills and breaks are still a little rough but its mostly done.

Anyway id appreciate thoughts on it and C4C
Attachments:
metalcore song number 1343235.gp5
Erra93
erriuyai
Join date: Nov 2009
1,682 IQ
#2
First thought: loved the intro

Bar 17 + 18 could work well with a drum-fill imo
The part that comes after that could work very well with a bit of harmonization (doesn't have to be all of it, could be just certain notes) and some spiced up drums
I think I've heard the breakdown a billion times, but at least it works.
55-58, it's so simple yet has a lot of feeling to it!
Don't have much to say about the chorus, it's not bad, it's just not my cup of tea

Verse 2 sounds faaaar to rock:y for me to consider it metalcore :|
Good job on the chords that come afterwards though, and the solo, great work indeed

If you'd like to, you can crit my song "Proud Of The Crows", it's in my signature
frankibo
UG Board King
Join date: May 2007
3,093 IQ
#3
This is exactly what well written generic metalcore looks like.
It's assembled well but completely lacking in originality.
My songs are all located here .
Feel free to drop by and crit a song.
Leave a link and I'll return a crit



Colossus
GU5T4V
Registered User
Join date: Aug 2011
223 IQ
#4
There is no denying your prowess in making effective, catchy metalcore riffs. But as stated earlier, this could very well be a Trivium song or whatever - it simply doesn't stand out when compared to other metalcore.

Anyway, some things I thought about while listening to it:
I would rather see the breakdown after the chorus, and not before it.
What is up with all the parts where all the instruments cut out and there is just a single guitar? You do it far too much. It can be effective at times, but this is abusing.
The sweeping part of the solo is even more generic than the riffs - I recommend a total rewrite.
The chorus have some nice melodies going on.
Intro is quite nice.
Riff for the first verse is great, but generic. Generic have never been the opposite of asskicking, though.

I say keep it up - we all have to write generic songs before we're able to fully bloom as songwriters - most people never do. That's what musical progress is all about

Now, I uploaded an album (yes indeed I did) earlier, would be great if you could listen to a couple of the songs and crit them back! Cheers!

https://www.ultimate-guitar.com/forum/showthread.php?t=1467949