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#1
I've been dating this girl for a few weeks now. She lives 3 hours away, but we'll be going to college together in the fall. We lived in the same dorm and got to know each other when we both took organic chemistry.

Her dad's a evangelical youth pastor. I visited her over the summer for the weekend, and her family seems very nice, and they like me, too. However, she warned me that her dad was going to talk to me about jesus. And she said that it was kind of his job.

I was raised Lutheran. I don't really believe in Jesus being the son of God. Or God in the way most people see it. Or in heaven. But I do go to church. Not really to worship god but to sing hymns and hear the sermon (gives me a fresh point of view). Also I've noticed that in church my mind wanders, and it's a great opportunity for my brain to have a eureka moment.

But back to the topic: What the hell am I going to do/tell him?
#2
Talk to him about Jesus?
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#3
You mean he's gonna preach to you? Just nod nicely and wait for him to finish. What's the problem?

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#5
Quote by element4433
Talk to him about Jesus?

it's just that I can see this going down really badly... and i keep thinking to myself maybe i should just break up with her before something bad happens...
#6
Be respectful, just think about plowing his daughter during the whole talk, and tell him you were born and raised christian and that you still believe all of that. Then plow his daughter
#7
when he tells you he wants to talk about Jesus, ask him "what would you like to know?"
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#8
Quote by geetarguy13
it's just that I can see this going down really badly... and i keep thinking to myself maybe i should just break up with her before something bad happens...
How? Either you keep your beliefs and nothing changes or he converts you and you get religion. You don't lose in either situation.

Unless of course you're a huge dick to him about it.
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i kinda wish we all had a penis and vagina instead of buttholes

i mean no offense to buttholes and poop or anything

Rest in Peace, Troy Davis and Trayvon Martin and Jordan Davis and Eric Garner and Mike Brown
#9
talk to him about jesus and be respectful about his beleifs as long as you dont insult him/his beleifs you should be fine

also i doubf hes going to ask to many questions
#10
Quote by epiless
Be respectful, just think about plowing his daughter during the whole talk, and tell him you were born and raised christian and that you still believe all of that. Then plow his daughter


And how exactly is that being respectful?


Anyway, I think what matters most is that you and her agree religiously - or if not, are comfortable and willing to live with each other's differences. Let her father speak his mind though. Maybe afterwards you will have more clarity about the relationship.

Good luck!
#11
Quote by theogonia777
when he tells you he wants to talk about Jesus, ask him "what would you like to know?"

i'm worried that he's going to ask what i believe in. and if i answer with what i actually think (to me most of it is just hocus pocus) i feel like he's going to hate me, and then my gf won't like me anymore, and then i'll be all stressed out, and fail my classes... ahhhhhhhhhh
#12
be respectful man, that's key. tell him that you're willing to listen but dont try to HIDE that you dont believe. in my experience, pastors/preachers dont have a problem respecting that you dont believe as long as you respect that they DO. just make sure you're very polite so that you not believing doesnt affect him allowing you to date his daughter
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#13
Quote by geetarguy13
i'm worried that he's going to ask what i believe in. and if i answer with what i actually think (to me most of it is just hocus pocus) i feel like he's going to hate me, and then my gf won't like me anymore, and then i'll be all stressed out, and fail my classes... ahhhhhhhhhh


tell him Jesus was a real cool guy who didn't afraid of anything. no one can argue with that.
There's no such thing; there never was. Where I am going you cannot follow me now.
#14
Quote by geetarguy13
i'm worried that he's going to ask what i believe in. and if i answer with what i actually think (to me most of it is just hocus pocus) i feel like he's going to hate me, and then my gf won't like me anymore, and then i'll be all stressed out, and fail my classes... ahhhhhhhhhh

Just keep it simple. "I'm Lutheran". You don't need to pour your heart out to him. His goal isn't any different from that of a salesman. He's trying to sell you on something. Just give him that chance and say thanks but no thanks. And if he decides to hate you for not buying his product, that's not your problem. Furthermore, if your girlfriend bases the relationship around that, then she's obviously not a good fit.

...modes and scales are still useless.


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#15
Quote by geetarguy13
We lived in the same dorm and got to know each other when we both took organic chemistry.



Haha I bet !
#16
Quote by geetarguy13
i'm worried that he's going to ask what i believe in. and if i answer with what i actually think (to me most of it is just hocus pocus) i feel like he's going to hate me, and then my gf won't like me anymore, and then i'll be all stressed out, and fail my classes... ahhhhhhhhhh
You're thinking about it too much. Don't think. Don't stress. You're your own worst enemy. It's way worse in your head than it actually will be.
*-)
Quote by Bob_Sacamano
i kinda wish we all had a penis and vagina instead of buttholes

i mean no offense to buttholes and poop or anything

Rest in Peace, Troy Davis and Trayvon Martin and Jordan Davis and Eric Garner and Mike Brown
#17
You actively go to church, so just tell him what your religion is.

If anything, he should at least be satisfied that you're "trying" by going to church.
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#18
Quote by geetarguy13
it's just that I can see this going down really badly... and i keep thinking to myself maybe i should just break up with her before something bad happens...
Or you could not be a douche and just sit there and listen politely to her father.
#21
Quote by -tempest-
tell him god doesn't exist, because its never too late for him to hear the truth.

lol, truth.
#22
Quote by crazysam23_Atax
Or you could not be a douche and just sit there and listen politely to her father.

I keep going through in my mind, wanting to ask him "how is your religion any more genuine than any other religion on this planet?"

but of course that's probably not being respectful.... also would totally blow my cover of being lutheran... ahhh i'm stressed because i've had a lot of issues with this type of stuff in the past, losing friends over religious beliefs.. it's stupid but i can't stop feeling compelled to challenge him...
#23
Just sit there, answer his questions with "haven't thought about it too much", and he will try to educate you. It will suck ass, I kid you not, but it be better than pissing him off and losing the girl, no?
#24
Quote by geetarguy13
I keep going through in my mind, wanting to ask him "how is your religion any more genuine than any other religion on this planet?"

but of course that's probably not being respectful.... also would totally blow my cover of being lutheran... ahhh i'm stressed because i've had a lot of issues with this type of stuff in the past, losing friends over religious beliefs.. it's stupid but i can't stop feeling compelled to challenge him...


so yuore going to challenge the beleifs of father of the girl you are dating

good luck with that


just sit there and be respectful
#25
Quote by geetarguy13
I keep going through in my mind, wanting to ask him "how is your religion any more genuine than any other religion on this planet?"

but of course that's probably not being respectful.... also would totally blow my cover of being lutheran... ahhh i'm stressed because i've had a lot of issues with this type of stuff in the past, losing friends over religious beliefs.. it's stupid but i can't stop feeling compelled to challenge him...
So, stfu. You can respect his religion. If nothing else, this chick likes you enough to go out with you. Don't fuck it up because you can't keep your damn mouth shut. Say, "I'm Lutheran." Listen to his speech. Carry on.
#26
a girls father hating you boosts your chances of getting laid.

also is your gf aware of your religious views? thats what I would be more worried about. I have never dated a religous person (I don't live in a very religious area) but it seems like it would be way more of a hassle then dating someone with really religous parents (which I have done)
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#28
Quote by geetarguy13
I keep going through in my mind, wanting to ask him "how is your religion any more genuine than any other religion on this planet?"

but of course that's probably not being respectful.... also would totally blow my cover of being lutheran... ahhh i'm stressed because i've had a lot of issues with this type of stuff in the past, losing friends over religious beliefs.. it's stupid but i can't stop feeling compelled to challenge him...

Ya dude, stick up for yr beliefs, & why don't ya just tell him you can't wait to be nailin' his daughter everyday at college while yr at it? I mean, as long as yr bein' honest.
#29
How old are you? 10? Talk to the man, be respectful, keep your beliefs or change if you feel you want. Pastors are some of the nicest least-judgmental people you'll ever meet. From my experience anyway. And I'm not religious in any way.
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#30
You have 2 options:

1. Simply nod at anything he says and agree with him. You're evading conflict but on the other hand you have to keep up the lie that you're a christian like him.

or

2. Tell him that you have different views and he must respect that. He can't judge you based on something which cannot be proven.
I recently discovered this youtube channel about a guy who was raised very strictly as a christian and because he was pushed into it, he became an atheist. Check some of his videos if you want to learn how to defend your lifestyle choice in a polite and rational manner.
---> http://www.youtube.com/user/QualiaSoup?blend=1&ob=5
#31
Quote by geetarguy13
I keep going through in my mind, wanting to ask him "how is your religion any more genuine than any other religion on this planet?"

but of course that's probably not being respectful.... also would totally blow my cover of being lutheran... ahhh i'm stressed because i've had a lot of issues with this type of stuff in the past, losing friends over religious beliefs.. it's stupid but i can't stop feeling compelled to challenge him...

Nisi it bothers you to bullshit your way through the rendezvous, just bullshit your way through it. Just smile and nod politely, unless you want to make your girlfriend's dad think you're a godless commie.
#33
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#34
Quote by geetarguy13
I keep going through in my mind, wanting to ask him "how is your religion any more genuine than any other religion on this planet?"

but of course that's probably not being respectful.... also would totally blow my cover of being lutheran... ahhh i'm stressed because i've had a lot of issues with this type of stuff in the past, losing friends over religious beliefs.. it's stupid but i can't stop feeling compelled to challenge him...

This post makes it seem like you are the reason that you lost friends over this shit before. Challenging religious beliefs is a very good way to offend almost everyone on the planet.

I get that no religion can prove that its right, but that also goes for whatever it is that you believe. How can you prove that your beliefs are 100% completely correct?
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#35
This thread is now Jesus pics thread.
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#36
politely tell him your views, perhaps have a healthy debate about it, and get on with your life. simple.
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#37
I have dated girls before who either they or their family was VERY religious.

I'm sure you gave heard some Minister's Daughter type jokes?
Just keep thinking of this...
Girls that were raised in a very religious household?
Yeah they **** like rabbits.
#38
listen to what he has to say. and then tell him what you have to say. intelligently tell him where you agree and disagree. POLITELY of course.
#DTWD
#39
Well, you can use my method if you want: Let him propose concepts or whatever, then respond and ask your own questions. That's all. If he starts raging and getting mad because he thinks you're taking a dump on his beliefs, remind him that it was not you who wished to discuss religion, but him, and all you're doing is asking questions and listening.

It's a pretty good method, I think, and it usually works and the person usually comes to realize that you've actually been quite pleasant about it. I've only lost a couple of friends due to religious differences (but generally those were the people that were crazy, hardcore fundamentalist types), but for the most part, a lot of my friends are Christians, Buddhists, what have you... and I myself am an atheist. I really enjoy having friends of different beliefs. One of my best friends is a Buddhist. I may be lucky in this, but we share our experiences and advice with one-another from our own unique perspectives that the other one might not have considered.

I don't know if I would lie to him, either. Odds are he main objective is to get a feeling for you to know his little girl is with someone decent... I mean, if you feel desperate, it never hurts to throw out the old, "I know we have our differences, but I really care for your daughter and have feelings for her." That kind of thing.


tl;dr Don't be a pussy.
Last edited by nincompoop at Aug 6, 2011,