First off, cool lyrics and I like the vocals too. They seem a bit hesitant and flat at some points, but overall they fit with the lyrics. I'm trying to convince myself that it's a guitar you're playing but I'm not entirely sure. It is very tinny and weak sounding and i think it would make a huge difference to the song if this instrument was clearer. When I started recording stuff i used to run an aux cord from the headphone output on my amp to the headphone input on my laptop and just chuck a whole pile of effects and stuff on it, which gave a passable result and only cost the price of an aux cord. You could look into this, or even better look into a usb interface, which gives really awesome results.
The vocals need to come in with a punch, they start off too soft, making it hard to understand. Maybe a better mic would do you some good. Also, try singing more powerfully, from your gut, it will help you trust me. I actually like the sound of the guitar, if the vocals were cleaner it would make it a lot better. There should also be some kind of rhythm if you want to do that little guitar break thing, everything stops and it's very empty sounding, if there was some other thing playing (bass, drum, synth) it would work.


I think you may of already crited that one, if so just go on my profile and comment on one you haven't
Hey man thanks for the crit on my page!

First off the vocals were actually pretty good, had the right feel to it I can't really give you much advice on that though cause I don't sing lol. As for the guitar I think it might have sounded a bit better if it were cleaner maybe and not so distorted? I dunno just an opinion really and yes as the above poeple have mention try and add some rhythm into it or something (i.e. synth) to fill out the song a bit more, maybe even consider layering guitars, like a clean and distorted one. Overall pretty solid effort.
Much improved over the last song of yours I listened to!

Your vocals are louder and more confident, but still a bit hard to understand/hear. I know you're limited by your equipment, but you need to sing much louder.

The guitar sounds really quiet and muddy. I suggest moving the mic right up next to the amp the next time you record.

There are timing issues and I hear muffled notes, etc but that will improve with practice.

The song structure is a bit repetitive, keep working on it. Is there someone else singing in the room with you?

hope this helps

I like this a lot! The guitar could be cleaner and less thin sounding and the vox could be brought up just a bit but i really like your vocal tone, it adds a nice effect to the song. To me it has an overall sweeping, sort of drifting feel to it. I like what youre aiming for
Could be pretty awesome if you had some better recording equipment! Also, I would advise you on using some post processing EQ to get rid of some of those high frequency fuzz sounds. I'm not much of a singer so I can't really give you much on your singing technique. But to me, it sounds pretty good, just your recording isn't clear.