#1
This is more a rough draft or outline than an actual piece. I'll likely expand on the idea later tonight when my brain goes into creative mode.

C4C, as always.


The trees will shelter me
in the summertime,
and they will bury me
beneath their mountains of red
in the harvest
to become a colorful igloo
in the wintertime -
the safest place to hide.
Last edited by Winter Sky at Aug 7, 2011,
#2
I read this over a couple times, and I had to back out and read a few other entries while I chewed on this.

I really like how you go about linking the seasons, the imagery is vivid, and it really speaks a lot about what we as a species take from nature.

In Summer, the trees are thick and full, and we reap the shade. In Autumn, we find solace in the calm of their colors, and as the leaves fall, we find pleasure once again in their cool embrace, raking them into piles just to lay among them.

Now, here is where I think you have a neat idea going, where you bring both the shelter and calm/safety and shape them into an igloo for winter, where, blizzard be damned, you are again safe and comforted by nature. I didn't understand the "colorful igloo" part, but you could edit or expand upon this.

This would benefit greatly from you sitting down and really hashing out your idea. You've already started so many ideas that you could "branch out" (pardon the pun, I couldn't help myself) and expand upon.

Keep us updated, I'm interested to see where you go with this.

BTW, thanks for the critique. I read your entry like right after you posted it, but I didn't quite know how to process it, lol.
#3
The "colorful igloo" was meant to suggest hiding under the fallen leaves through the winter until they froze over. So, if you can picture a pile of leaves frozen in ice, maybe you'll get what I mean. But, yeah, I definitely want to flesh this out. It came to me as a simple idea, so I jotted it down, but I'd like to make it longer and more vivid.

Thanks for the words.
#4
Your use of imagery is fabulous. The whole seasons thing is an age-old tool that you managed to make sound fresh. I could see it all vividly and in full color. Keep up the good work.
#6
Thank you for the crit. I appreciate it. I enjoy how you were able to pack so much imagery in so little space. I admire that. But I do think that this definitley needs to fleshed out to explain things better. The lines abouyt autmn were the best part in my opinion. The winter part though is the one that needs more fleshing out for sure. I understood what you meant by colorful igloo, but colorful is just a weak word in my opinion, unless you contrast it with something like, "a colorful igloo in a gray winter scene". Kind generic I know but you get the point. Anyways, I hope to read more from you soon.