#1
I usually just cover songs instead of write any, but I wanted to try.
And I just wanted to see if what I have is good/okay. So tell me if it sucks.
Be easy on me I'm 14 and just started this.
It's called Crush, Kind of short and I think it's kind of cheese and chiche. :/
If you think so too just confirm it with me haha

Your like a diamond
How you shine
And your eyes
Are so divine
The way you say simple things
Makes me shy
And my heart sings

Like little kids we'd run around
the little playground
You say things that make me blush
Because I'm just a little girl
with a little crush

I realize how much we don't know
about each other, But I don't care so...

Continue to make me smile and laugh
Although two halves make a whole
for now I'm happy for what we have

For knowing to little but hearing so much
You always could make me blush
Because I'm just a little girl
with a little crush

~~
Last edited by TeaOwl at Aug 8, 2011,
#2
It's not that bad - Yes, there's cheese and cliché in there, but with that sort of subject matter that's always going to be the case.

The only important thing is whether you like it or not.
#3
Think of a melody to go along with it.

You'll notice that you might have to contiuously refine your lyrics once you thought of a melody because you may or may not like the outcome, and thats fine. This process is called refining.

Other than that, looks good.
#4
Very nice, but i wouldn't use it in a song, however it would make a great poem ..

Source:
I am a poet
#5
i love this song... made me cry for personal reasons but yh tis good.


one criticism... im 15 now but was 14 when starting to write. avoid the rhyme trap!!! i hate rhymes. fair play some of mine do rhyme but i never play 'em. try not to rhyme

some of the lyrics are good that rhyme e.g. blush and crush

hope my advice helps
woodery9896
#6
Quote by woodery9896
one criticism... im 15 now but was 14 when starting to write. avoid the rhyme trap!!! i hate rhymes. fair play some of mine do rhyme but i never play 'em. try not to rhyme

some of the lyrics are good that rhyme e.g. blush and crush


No offense, but don't listen to the part about rhyming. If you feel like the song would be good with a rhyme, then rhyme. It's completely stylistic, don't say you'll never rhyme, and don't say you'll never write without rhymes. Don't try to do either, just do whatever fits.