I sarted writing a riff and then kept tuning the low string till i could find the note I wanted. Tell me whatcha think of the result.

Im a bassist so any help with drums or ideas for guitar leads would be great. (especailly in the chours)

Do you think keyboard parts would work for this song? My band has a keys player but Im not sure if they would work in this song.
Drop B.gp5
Last edited by corrda00 at Aug 8, 2011,
First off, thanks for the crit, I appreciate that.

I'm gonna try to be objective, but those b5s reeeeeeeaaaally aren't doing it for me. Maybe every once in a while it'd be nice, but to make that sound the focus of the piece just wasn't a wise choice, in my opinion.

Once it speeds up it becomes a little less harsh, and the drums really help.

The verse is kinda neat if you're going for an intentionally harsh noise-core kind of sound. 92-93 was great, would've liked to see a bit more of that sort of thing. Following the first chorus, everything's nice, although the jazz bit came waaay out of left field. It's good and all, but it's totally out of place here.

It's alright, but I'm really not fond of the b5 in the main riff. That's really what kills it for me.
Why didn't you just make the guitar a 7 string? You just tuned the low E6 down into the B7.

I like the use of the Dim chords in the intro, although I don't know how well the bass B works with it. I also like the A#Maj7#8 in bar 9 (Or whatever its called, thats the best name I could come up with for the moment) and the bass build is also great.

Piece builds very nicely to the verse. Verse is good, although those dissonant harmonies in the 4/4 bars could turn most listeners off to the piece. The section at 35 is slightly off putting, and I should say that I absolutely HATE drumming like that, with all of the off beat accentation... Just frustrating for some reason.

The triplets and inconsistant harmonies between the guitars are also off putting. Chorus is good, and has this really strange but great vibe that I can't quite place at the moment.

I should say that all the other variations are good, such as the verse alterations and guitar harmonies, like in 101. Bass solo at 106 was awesome.

Bridge was interesting, although a bit strange. I really liked the clarifying transition at 128. The jazz section is awesome, although I'm not entirely sure that it works with the piece for what it is. The chords in it are great, and you have a good progression there.

Overall, an interesting piece and it was surprising hard to crit. Its a good piece, although it could use some work to make it more consistant with itself.
SORRY I TOOK SO LONG TO GET BACK. I've been working so much, and also have been putting off because this sounded tough to crit for me.

The dissonance during the acoustic part first off already bothers me honestly. It feels so so awkward for me. In the wrong way. >_>

Measure 17-28 I love though. It has such an extremely slow groove to it.

The verse is alright in bits. I just don't like how 'thin' it stays, which I guess could be fixed with a real recording maybe, and it also feels like it's trying too hard to be dissonant and 'experimental' sometimes.

Again, enjoy the chorus' feel a lot.

Interlude is alright, the acoustic sounds a lot better with the bass and such.

Verse, as I said before again.

Drum solo: Well, can't really say much cause it's not here, haha, though tbh it's hard to imagine one there for me. Maybe I'm not very imaginative.

Chorus again

Bass solo is nifty, though I don't particularly care for the end because it just loses the groove that the rest had, and the A it ends on just again feels like it's played just to try to be somewhat dissonant/out there. An A# makes it feel so much more right to me.

Bridge is alright. Kinda basic imo, but oh well.

Jazz section is neat. I like the placement, and I can definitely imagine a great jazz solo over it.

HOWEVER. I cannot imagine that long of a drum solo with that setup. All I can imagine is it being set up for some ridiculous constant 16th notes just doing silly cliche fills. Though I'm not imaginative when it comes to drums. I imagine there could be a set up to work much better in that section.

As it is now the acoustic comes in really awkward, I guess a drum solo or whatnot could transition it better though.

Chorus as an outro works good.

Overall it has lots of potential through out and some solid moments. I also should say it's not at all my style, so don't take anything I say too bad, haha. I do love about all the bass writing though, it's really nice. And also, as for your last question there, I'm not sure how much I can imagine keyboards in this. Piano in the jazz bit could work great, but in a lot of the more dissonant sections, I dunno, besides maybe for some ambiance to fill up the sound.
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