#1
I've been involved with this girl for a few months. We've started to become pretty close. We didn't get together really until she broke up with her boyfriend and needed a prom date so she asked me. Turns out she has liked me for a while (like years) but I was always too shy to do anything. I guess she gave up and went after someone else. So, I'm a pretty weird guy about relationship stuff. I've never really had a girlfriend. It's cheesy but I'm all into the spending the rest of your life with someone deal and having a soul mate. Last night we were together and it was getting fairly intense. I felt it was time to ask her if she had had sex. It was difficult (she was crying bit) for her but she said she had. Her last relationship I guess the guy had cheated on her.

This put me through a whirlwind of emotions. I know I shouldn't be disgusted about it but imaging it leaves my stomach in knots. She says she regrets but it doesn't make me feel better. I mean, I'm getting into the game pretty late (I'm 18) so it is safe to assume a lot of people I meet will have been in a previous serious relationship. My brain is telling me: let go, it is in the past. She likes you now. It is ridiculous to assume every partner I have is going to be a virgin like me. This is how I should feel but I just can't let my other feelings go. Has anyone else dealt with this?
#3
Get over it, as long as she's clean, wrap it up and have fun.
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#4
Its not a big deal. I was concerned about that until I had sex the first time and then I realized I didn't really care.
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Quote by GoodOl'trashbag
omfg i totally forgot about that, you sir are jesus christ.
#5
Quote by shikkaka
Its not a big deal. I was concerned about that until I had sex the first time and then I realized I didn't really care.


Bingo. Once you get over the hump and get #1 out of the way, you get a whole lot less tense about the situation.
Gear:
1998 PRS CE 22-10 Top Natural Finish
MIM HSS Strat-Electron Blue
Vox AC4TV
#6
It's not a big deal, but I undertstand how you feel. I lost my virginity to my wife, but she had had sex with 2 guys before me, which given the slutty state of people her age is damn good. I still sometimes get a little knot in my stomach thinking of her with those other guys but I get over it after awhile. If you like her then go for it.
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#7
A man would dump her and go with someone else.
On playing the Paul Gilbert signature at the guitar store extensively, my missus sighed:
"Put it down now, It's like you love that guitar more than me!"
In Which I replied.
"Well it has got two F-Holes!"
#10
Its better when at least one person has some idea of what they're doing. Two virgins having sex can get awkward.
e-single
#12
why does it matter that she has already had sex? i never want to be a womans "first" because she cant enjoy it, its painful. atleast now if you ever have sex with her she wont be saying "slower, slower... ow.. ow no that hurts, slower"

people have this weird misconception about your first time.

ITS NOTHING SPECIAL, theres no magic sparks that shoot out your dick, jesus doesnt come down from the heavens and say "you are now a man my son" you pop it in, hangout for a bit then leave.
Last edited by chud123 at Aug 12, 2011,
#13
You made her cry about not being a virgin?

You are a very bad person and you should feel bad. Apologise for making it out to be a big deal and if you're going to be a bigot all your life, tell her and break it off.


By the way, people who are only interested in virgins are usually paedos, just a heads up.
#15
you are worried about her because she has had sex?


wow... grow up..
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#17
She had sex with someone else? Ignore her like the plague!

But seriously...it's not that big of an issue.
To be vulnerable is needed most of all, if you intend to truly fall apart.


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You have no idea how much I don't want to tell stories about my mother's vaginal slime on the internet.


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#18
OK, serious post this time...


I read your post and to me it sounds something like this:
Quote by y0d4
A girl that I like wants to have sex with me, but bla bla bla...

You just don't realize that I stop listening after the first part of your sentence.

When you say "A girl that I like wants to have sex with me", there is no BUT, there is only BUTT.

What the fück are you whining about? Seriously...?
Have sex, brag about it to your friends, be happy and satisfied and just be a normal person!
#21
Quote by Mistress_Ibanez
You made her cry about not being a virgin?

You are a very bad person and you should feel bad. Apologise for making it out to be a big deal and if you're going to be a bigot all your life, tell her and break it off.


By the way, people who are only interested in virgins are usually paedos, just a heads up.

#22
Quote by Norse Thrasher
*Here we go.*

Oh boy...
To be vulnerable is needed most of all, if you intend to truly fall apart.


Quote by due 07
You have no idea how much I don't want to tell stories about my mother's vaginal slime on the internet.


I make music sometimes.
#24
Quote:
Originally Posted by shikkaka
Its not a big deal. I was concerned about that until I had sex the first time and then I realized I didn't really care.


Bingo. Once you get over the hump and get #1 out of the way, you get a whole lot less tense about the situation.


This. I used to feel the same way about girls I liked, then I had sex and its something that you just stop thinking/worrying about. Because you realize how big of a deal its not.

So, go my friend. For yourself and the rest of mankind, have sex with this girl.
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#25
Quote by Onzaso
Because you realize how big of a deal its not.


I know you are agreeing with me, but...

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What?! There's a clean channel on my amp?!

Quote by GoodOl'trashbag
omfg i totally forgot about that, you sir are jesus christ.
#26
Quote by Mistress_Ibanez
You made her cry about not being a virgin?

You are a very bad person and you should feel bad. Apologise for making it out to be a big deal and if you're going to be a bigot all your life, tell her and break it off.


By the way, people who are only interested in virgins are usually paedos, just a heads up.


Yeah, this.
#27
I'm pretty sure the OP didn't "make her" cry. He brought up a subject that should be talked about between two partners and if she cried, then that's her issue. I don't want to sound insensitive, but let's grow up here.

Quote by Mistress_Ibanez
By the way, people who are only interested in virgins are usually paedos, just a heads up.

Or people who want to share that special moment with someone else who can share theirs as well.
#28
If it makes you feel any better all the sex I've had since I was 18 has been with girls who've done it before. It's only before that that I had me a few virgins. You're already too old to worry about this nonsense. If it bothers you so much then the solution is to not ask in the first place, or you'll really be a 40-year-old virgin.