#1
http://soundcloud.com/harlothero/everything-i-see

This song is written from many different viewpoints.
The lyrics may not make sense, because said viewpoints jump around a lot.
Probably one of my more 'personal' originals.

Note: After the line "But they're not the ones to blame" kicks in, the instruments are purposely meant to drown out the rest of the vocals during the electric line.

Lyrics:
You're everything, And in between
That I can see, So try to breathe
And every time, You open your own mind
To see what's on the inside
People change, but friends don't stay the same
But they're not the ones to blame

(Chorus 2x)
And I would see
What lies beneath that tree
Just dead memories underneath
And all the secrets that you keep
Just dead memories underneath

I'm taking my lies, Holding them loud
For the wind to, Blow them out
And when I finally, See you around
I'll be able to, Show you out
When I feel, Like falling down
To be burning straight to the ground
I'd get back up, Three last words
Them all being, "See you around"

(Chorus 2x)
And I would see
What lies beneath that tree
Just dead memories underneath
And all the secrets that you keep
Just dead memories underneath

Please, don't hold back on your opinions and thoughts.
I'd love as much criticism/feedback as possible.
Critique for critique as always.
Thank you for taking time to listen to my music.
#2
critting as I hear it:
acoustic is really pretty and very well recorded.
the vocals sound sort of imperfect, but i feel like thats kind of the sound you were going for
electric lead sounds a little out of place at times. it might just be a little off beat or something though
after the lead goes away, the phrasing on the vocals gets a little strange to me.
at 2:39 or so the lead guitar (is it a guitar?) seems off
when it picks up around 4:19 it sounds great, but it felt like it took a little too long to get to that point. Also you might want to try to have it pick up even a little more, because it sort of feels like i'm being ripped off, like i was expecting some big climax to the song and it just wasn't 100% there.

I know i did really rip your song a lot, but don't take it the wrong way I think it's a good song. It just needs to be worked on a little more.

C4C?
https://www.ultimate-guitar.com/forum/showthread.php?t=1470487
American Circus
Like the White Stripes, RHCP, or Cage the Elephant? Check out mah band!
#3
I like the picked bit over the chords in the intro, makes the whole thing sound more dense and interesting.
I think the vocals came out a bit weak in some points, but I'm guessing you meant for it to sound a bit like that?
I really like the lead guitar bits, especially when the harmony comes in.
I'm not a fan of the whole "two voices" thing you did after the lead harmony part, it sounded a bit off/out of sync.
The bit from about 3:40 - 4:15 was really nice, and the bit after that was great, except again I think it would have sounded better with either one voice, or if the two were synced better.

I did that as I listened, and I'm not very good at these so sorry if it didn't help. Great song though, I definitely enjoyed it. Mine is a slightly different style and genre to yours, but I'd still love for you to check it out anyway? https://www.ultimate-guitar.com/forum/showthread.php?t=1470211

Great job
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#4
Pretty mellow stuff dude, not my usual style but I thought I'd give a crit a go .

Acoustic comes through nicely and is all mixed well but when those vocals hit, something doesn't sit quite right. I'd suggest maybe adding more reverb or lowering the volume a tad maybe? Might jsut be my own preference there.

The distorted guitar works well in a power-ballady sort of way. Levels and mixing sounds good to me. 3:20 is a much better effect for the vocals on this kinda' track to be honest. It gives that hollow sound (that with more reverb!) would sound perfect beside the delicately played guitar.

4:16 the acoustic strums seem a little bit out of time sometimes but sort themselves out by 4:35. I'm not a huge fan of the double syncing on the voices here (seems to be a common criticism here, sorry!) as it can get choppy or out of time if not disguised/mixed in enough.

All that aside, it's a nice relaxed ballad number you've got here. Definitely your style I'd say, good work.

C4C on something completely different to this? Any comments/criticism is welcome even if it's not your thing: https://www.ultimate-guitar.com/forum/showthread.php?t=1469429
#5
HarlotHero,
At 0:11 (and similar), the timing seemed a bit odd. Other than that, can't find much to gripe about. Audio quality is quite good. Guitars sometimes remind me of "Zombie" (the Cranberry's). Singing is good overall. For some reason, the vocals reminded me somewhat of Pink Floyd at times (the best vocals I've heard you do in some time.....maybe ever?). Good vocal & guitar melodies! Layering the vocals was a good idea. Overall, I think the song's quite good! Please review my music at this link:

https://www.ultimate-guitar.com/forum/showthread.php?t=1465574
Last edited by aaron aardvark at Aug 13, 2011,
#6
Critting as I listen.

Like the intro. The two guitars over one another make it more interesting than just an acoustic strum passage. Also, the acoustic tone is very good. Nice and shimmery. What guitar/mic setup did you use?

I like your voice, your tone is solid. Here's my one suggestion, sing with more confidence. In a few parts it sounds as though you're unsure of how you want to sing a line, and in those parts, the pitch suffers, usually on the flat side.

Nice electric tone. I dig the line as well. Layered well. I would have liked to see this section lengthened or developed a bit further.

The vocal doubling sounds odd in the chorus. Sounds like a phase issue to me the way the vocals become warbly and super thin sounding. How did you go about doubling the vocals here? If you just duplicated the vocal track and offset it my a few ms, that's why it sounds funny.

2nd verse needs to be sang a little more from the gut, IMO. Put a little more power behind those notes, as it sounds like they're edging out of your breathy vocal range. Just because the song is mellow doesn't mean you can't put some oomph into the singing.

How come that electric guitar was so far in the background when it came back? I really dug it. The piano was a nice addition, but I was left wanting a little more from that ending. The song feels as though it lacks climax a little bit. That electric part towards the beginning marks the most intense point of the song, and it's within the first half. A proper climax would do this song oodles of justice. Perhaps lengthening the outro over some strings or pad synths?

All in all, I liked the song very much. The lyrics in particular managed to be clearly personal and sentimental without sounding contrived and lame, like most sentimental acoustic ballads tend to be.

The two overall criticism I have for you are as follows;
1. Sing out a little more. Have confidence in your voice, it sounds like you're holding back a bit. And I don't mean necessarily to sing louder, just to sing more from the gut and with more conviction.
2. I would lengthen the outro and build it more. Something in this genre, with the fairly simple chord progression, just begs to be layered and layered. Some more instrumentation to take up space underneath would do wonders for this track towards the end.

All in all though, solid tune. I thoroughly enjoyed it.

Crit my newest?
Icarus