These are the first lyrics I've written and actually liked, they are no 100% complete but this is what I have just now. Critique mine and I shall do the same for you. Any questions will be answered asap.

Trapped inside her hold
But I'd rather be with you
What I need is something bold
Cause I know who I want to choose

Why haven't I planned an escape?
Why haven't I listened to my heart?
**** this possessive landscape
I'd be with her if I was smart

She should be with me here
She would give me the key
I don't like this atmosphere
And someone else has given me the key

My mind is in another location
My heart is just beginning to start
It's warming up for it's vocation
It says I'd be with her if I was smart

I know you wanted this before
And believe me I want it even more
I think your feelings they are sore
Or I must just really want you more

I wish I'd listened to my heart
Right way back at the start
Because now you're stuck on someone else
And now I still want no one else.
I like this peice, the emotions are conveyed well, I also like the style of the girls hold being a different place ( **** this possesive landscape, I don't like this atmosphere). It gives the lyrics a good theme. P.s :L would you crit my work?

Josh, Cripples and Angels
Last edited by Cripplesnangels at Aug 16, 2011,