#1
So pit, I'm supposed to move out in two hours to my dad's. I'm having serious second thoughts, and I don't know what to do. I think I'd have more of an opportunity to find a job, and I can drive sooner if I move, but I think my mom will hate me for it if I do.

More context: https://www.ultimate-guitar.com/forum/showthread.php?t=1470165

And I know it's about the same thread, I just really need some reassurance that what I'm doing is right.

Thanks in advance.
#4
It sounds like you really aren't having a good time with your mum...you need to do what's best for you
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#7
Quote by MakinLattes
Has she calmed down at all or is she still freaking out at you?


Sort of, that's the weird part. She goes all out on a rampage, then calms down and is fine for a few hours.
#8
Quote by WinterEagle5
Sort of, that's the weird part. She goes all out on a rampage, then calms down and is fine for a few hours.

It's probably in your best interest to leave that kind of environment. If things don't work out with your dad you can always see about going back.
#10
Quote by MakinLattes
It's probably in your best interest to leave that kind of environment. If things don't work out with your dad you can always see about going back.


Well, yeah, that's true I guess. Thanks.
#11
Quote by Jon777
Oh hey, I remember you.

Anyway, what you're doing is the right thing, but is your mom getting some sort of help?


I told her she needed to talk to someone and get help, but the response was basically something to the extent of "it's none of your ****ing business now, since you're out of the mix, huh?"
#12
You should tell your mum this:

You haven't spent much time with your dad your entire life, and you've lived with your mum your entire life. It's time for you to get to know your dad better. You're not leaving her forever, you're just trying to experience the other half of parenting that has been nigh absent in your life thus far. You'll still visit her, and you could even spend a night at her house every week (maybe less, cause she sounds kinda crazy), but it's just time for you to spend the time with your father that you should have the past 13 years of your life.
Now I'm
#13
Quote by WinterEagle5
I told her she needed to talk to someone and get help, but the response was basically something to the extent of "it's none of your ****ing business now, since you're out of the mix, huh?"


Do basically what the poster about me said^. Hopefully she'll see that you really won't be "out of the mix."
#14
Quote by 727Helena
You should tell your mum this:

You haven't spent much time with your dad your entire life, and you've lived with your mum your entire life. It's time for you to get to know your dad better. You're not leaving her forever, you're just trying to experience the other half of parenting that has been nigh absent in your life thus far. You'll still visit her, and you could even spend a night at her house every week (maybe less, cause she sounds kinda crazy), but it's just time for you to spend the time with your father that you should have the past 13 years of your life.


Tried this too. She said basically, she's a mother, not Disney land, because that's how she sees my father. She thinks I don't have to face the 'real world' there, and that that's the only reason I like it there.

Edit: ^ Well, last night she said if I absolutely hated it I could come back a total of one time, and that if I came back I couldn't switch back and forth.

Edit II: v
Last edited by WinterEagle5 at Aug 16, 2011,
#15
Oh hey, we're the same age.
Get out of there, she'll learn to let go once you stay with your dad, anyways, your dad can connect to you more than your mom because you're both of the same gender and you can relate and other stuff like that.
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#16
Leave. She is obviously unbalanced, and needs help, but with her refusing help, it will be easier and safer for you at your dads. With you out of her everyday life, she might be able to step back and see how insanely she has been acting about this.
Quote by Butt Rayge
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I'm just a hedonist without happiness
#17
Quote by WinterEagle5
Tried this too. She said basically, she's a mother, not Disney land, because that's how she sees my father. She thinks I don't have to face the 'real world' there, and that that's the only reason I like it there.



Sounds like she's being completely unreasonable, and (hopefully doesn't have) some sort of chemical imbalance. How you described the drastic changes in rampage to completely fine moods in juxtaposition to my best friend Cassey who is bi-polar and does very similar things makes me think that she has some sort of issue controlling her intense emotions.
On the other hand, she may just be hurt and sad that you want to leave, and the only way she knows how to react to it is to be really angry like that. I know that I have a hard time telling people my emotions unless it's anger, maybe she does too.

Anyway, I think you should move out. Eventually, if you keep in good contact with your mum, she SHOULD see that you're just a normal teenager discovering different and new chapters in your life, and that you're not abandoning her completely.
Now I'm
#18
Quote by 727Helena
Sounds like she's being completely unreasonable, and (hopefully doesn't have) some sort of chemical imbalance. How you described the drastic changes in rampage to completely fine moods in juxtaposition to my best friend Cassey who is bi-polar and does very similar things makes me think that she has some sort of issue controlling her intense emotions.
On the other hand, she may just be hurt and sad that you want to leave, and the only way she knows how to react to it is to be really angry like that. I know that I have a hard time telling people my emotions unless it's anger, maybe she does too.

Anyway, I think you should move out. Eventually, if you keep in good contact with your mum, she SHOULD see that you're just a normal teenager discovering different and new chapters in your life, and that you're not abandoning her completely.


Thanks, this helped

It made me realize I don't have to completely abandon her just by moving out. I'd had that in the back of my mind, but with her guilt tripping, to try and get me to stay, I'd forgotten it.
#19
Quote by WinterEagle5

Edit: ^ Well, last night she said if I absolutely hated it I could come back a total of one time, and that if I came back I couldn't switch back and forth.


Wow... she's definitely not someone I'd want to live with.
Hopefully she'll be able to handle it, but yeah, you need to leave.
#20
Quote by WinterEagle5
Thanks, this helped

It made me realize I don't have to completely abandon her just by moving out. I'd had that in the back of my mind, but with her guilt tripping, to try and get me to stay, I'd forgotten it.



I'm glad
Yeah, just because you're not living with her doesn't mean you never have to see her again. If you know that, and if you tell her that, even if she gets angry and still doesn't understand you at first the thought will still be in the back of her mind, and maybe she'll realise the same thing too.

I hope things work out well for you, and good luck!
Now I'm