#1
Hi my very first post and my very first attempt at writing. So any constructive criticism is welcome. Cheers.

-Wrestle With Power-

I woke up from my sleep last night
With the feeling that we struggle through life
What happens when we give up, do you shrivel and die?
An answer I'll never want to know

Where do you go in your dreams at night?
What do you do when you're in your dreams?

I know that sometimes I freeze
Been trying to break through since the day I could move
Life can be slow until you get that break
When it comes, will you be there to help

You've got to wrestle with power
Don't let them win
You've got to wrestle with power
For your life to begin
#2
Quote by boromat

-Wrestle With Power-

I woke up from my sleep last night
With the feeling that we struggle through life
What happens when we give up, do you shrivel and die?
An answer I'll never want to know This stanza seemed really cliche to me, I'd suggest changing/rewording it. Also "do you shrivel and die" was a great bit of hyperbole

Where do you go in your dreams at night?
What do you do when you're in your dreams? First line's a bit overused nowadays, but I like the second one. It seems a bit confrontational, almost passive even.

I know that sometimes I freeze
Been trying to break through since the day I could move I think maybe add some imagery here. Maybe describe being frozen in ice etc. Just something along those lines
Life can be slow until you get that break
When it comes, will you be there to help Didn't entirely enjoy this line to be honest, but overall this was my favorite stanza

You've got to wrestle with power
Don't let them win
You've got to wrestle with power
For your life to begin Although this line seems to go along with the theme, it seems to be there mainly for rhyming reasons


I thought this was a pretty interesting read and has a lot of potential. Could use changing up a bit at some parts, and I feel it should be way longer than it is. It's really great for your first time writing though, hopefully I'll get to see more of your stuff in here.

C4C?