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#9
you try and introduce yourself
but then you get tongue tied
and jumble up your words
and start sweating
and get nervous and wonder if she can see you sweating
and you blush
and then you realize you're just babbling
and then you quickly run away
never to speak to her again, only to admire her from afar
#11
Quote by Deathro
I crack a corny as joke because im as corny as corn hahah. Be yourself and just let those words flow

flow like the liquid that will be flowing from her vagina once you let your load of words flow on her face
[img]http://cdn.gs.uproxx.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/05/v.gif[/img]
#12
Quote by mockingbirdnj
what would you say to a girl that you dont know to start a conversation?

I have a large penis would you like to see it? No well... So do you like vidya Games?
Quote by Twist of fate
Why must the fat die young
#14
To be helpful, don't approach her if she seems uncomfortable. Introduce yourself, start off with some small talk, slowly get to know her.

You could also reference one of the pit's hundreds of pick up line threads for some real gems. A favorite is "does this smell like chloroform?"
#15
After greeting the fair maiden, explain to her how you have sufficient funds in your account and how you will use them to purchase for her a cool, refreshing beverage.
I want to read your essays and blogs of the artistic nature!


Art evokes the mystery without which the world would not exist.

- Rene Magritte
#17
Usually just tell them what I want because I have no game.

If I didn't have certain advantages or wasn't slightly cute, I'd never get any girls.

edit: When I'm drunk, I'm usually a lot more blunt, and the kind of girls I'm into eat it up.
Last edited by -[NiL]- at Aug 23, 2011,
#18
ask her a question, find something to comment on or talk about something you notice she's interested in to start off a conversation. starting with a "hi" also works, but you need something to actually talk about.
Quote by Scutchington
I like this guy, he's UG's Greek, and he just told your ass in two paragraphs. And I once spent 5 minutes watching his avatar.


A Brain Malfunction

We'll Never Admit As Defeat
#19
*half shouting over the din of the bar* "Man, this music sucks!" A playfully bad attitude and a reference to something in the immediate environment usually gets things going. Or, even more cliche, ask or say something about her drink because that sets you up with an opportunity to buy her one.
#21
Actually, I'm currently developing a play called "The Noir".
It involves an external noir-esque monologue as you approach a girl, while taking note of every happening outside of the immediate peripherals.

Note: Voice must be smooth as ****, as must demeanor.
#22
Personally? Nothing. That's how cool I am. ...
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"Could everyone please stop sounding like everyone else that's trying to sound like meshuggah?"

-Emil Werstler

Quote by damian_91
Kurt Cobain, the best guitarist to ever live.

#25
but seriously. Start by talking about something in the room, or in the situation where you are. For example.

Girl steps on the bus and its raining outside "wow you barely made it huh"
Girls at a bar "Man are they making the alcohol back there? this bartender is slow as hell isnt he"

Another approach thats more direct is to complement them on something their wearing but not to do it in a direct way.

For example girls standing beside you and your holding a drink say something like "excuse me those are some nice boots, i dont wanna spill my drink on them" Then ignore her after she smiles, she will tr to continue the conversation because you sparked her interest.


Women when they dress always have a center piece that they show up and the rest of what they are wearing is chosen to accentuate that center piece. For example they maybe wearing some really cute shoes, they just bought an expensive purse, so the rest of their clothes will be color coded to match that. The girl isnt very attractive but she has large boobs, her boobs will now become her center piece. She will wear a very revealing blouse to get attention there. So compliment her on the blouse. If you can identify the center piece and make that article of clothing be the thing you compliment that will get them even more attracted to you.

Third approach thats effective Just go up to them and start talking to them, with girls it doesnt really matter what you say just how you say it, and how you respond to the bullshit they will throw at you.

All of this comes with practice experience and failing. If you do all these tips young grasshopper, after about 3 or 4 years you may get a handjob from a fat chick.
Quote by Twist of fate
Why must the fat die young
#26
"Not to be a complete stranger but I actually think my d*ck is the size of your forearm"

Said that once because I lost a bet...sorta worked, made a friend XD
#25 for top 100 UGer of 2009
UG's 2nd Funniest UGer and 3rd most likely to be a Serial Killer of 2009, 2nd of 2011
#27
You can also tell her that the problem isnt her guitar but that she needs a new amp. Bitches love new amps
Quote by Twist of fate
Why must the fat die young
#29
Quote by reggaebassman
but seriously. Start by talking about something in the room, or in the situation where you are. For example.

Girl steps on the bus and its raining outside "wow you barely made it huh"
Girls at a bar "Man are they making the alcohol back there? this bartender is slow as hell isnt he"

Another approach thats more direct is to complement them on something their wearing but not to do it in a direct way.

For example girls standing beside you and your holding a drink say something like "excuse me those are some nice boots, i dont wanna spill my drink on them" Then ignore her after she smiles, she will tr to continue the conversation because you sparked her interest.


Women when they dress always have a center piece that they show up and the rest of what they are wearing is chosen to accentuate that center piece. For example they maybe wearing some really cute shoes, they just bought an expensive purse, so the rest of their clothes will be color coded to match that. The girl isnt very attractive but she has large boobs, her boobs will now become her center piece. She will wear a very revealing blouse to get attention there. So compliment her on the blouse. If you can identify the center piece and make that article of clothing be the thing you compliment that will get them even more attracted to you.

Third approach thats effective Just go up to them and start talking to them, with girls it doesnt really matter what you say just how you say it, and how you respond to the bullshit they will throw at you.

All of this comes with practice experience and failing. If you do all these tips young grasshopper, after about 3 or 4 years you may get a handjob from a fat chick.

Those old-school tricks don't work anymore, man. They've caught on. You can look at a girl at a bar and she knows you're trying to take her home these days.

The bit about their center piece is still pretty valid though.
#30
[quote="'-[NiL"]-']Those old-school tricks don't work anymore, man. They've caught on. You can look at a girl at a bar and she knows you're trying to take her home these days.

The bit about their center piece is still pretty valid though.

Yeah man im old school my game doesnt work on any woman under 25 lololol
Quote by Twist of fate
Why must the fat die young
#31
This is so relevant. I have a crush on a girl at work and I just do not know what to say to her. She keeps to herself, but is SO friendly to everyone. She walks around on her lunch and reads all the time, I would feel like a dick almost disrupting her. I have to grow some balls though, she's adorable.
#32
Quote by TP500
This is so relevant. I have a crush on a girl at work and I just do not know what to say to her. She keeps to herself, but is SO friendly to everyone. She walks around on her lunch and reads all the time, I would feel like a dick almost disrupting her. I have to grow some balls though, she's adorable.


What the... that's like the easiest situation ever. I am jelly.
#33
Quote by TP500
This is so relevant. I have a crush on a girl at work and I just do not know what to say to her. She keeps to herself, but is SO friendly to everyone. She walks around on her lunch and reads all the time, I would feel like a dick almost disrupting her. I have to grow some balls though, she's adorable.


Find and read academic critique of the book she's currently reading, and impress her with your knowledge of the book's themes and shit.
#34
Quote by hriday_hazarika
Find and read academic critique of the book she's currently reading, and impress her with your knowledge of the book's themes and shit.


Careful with how far you go with that; no woman on earth wants to date a literary critic.

I have a degree in literary criticism
#35
Quote by TP500
This is so relevant. I have a crush on a girl at work and I just do not know what to say to her. She keeps to herself, but is SO friendly to everyone. She walks around on her lunch and reads all the time, I would feel like a dick almost disrupting her. I have to grow some balls though, she's adorable.

yeah dude that situation is way too easy. Just approach her one day at work, bitch about your boss, then ask her what she does for fun, and make her talk about her self. Then tell her you have to get back to work. The next day you bump into her talk some more then give her your number and tell her something like "you're pretty cool i like talking to you we should hang out.

Then text her up one day ask her what shes doing later. When she tells you tell her that sounds incredibly lame, ask her out.

Or you can do it old school and say "hey sweet cheeks, so we got a new storage closet wanna go f--k" She says no threaten to fire her, and ruin her career, then stalk her.
Quote by Twist of fate
Why must the fat die young
#36
Quote by dullsilver_mike
Careful with how far you go with that; no woman on earth wants to date a literary critic.

I have a degree in literary criticism


I'm doing a BA in English, and it sucks balls.

I JUST WANTED TO READ SOME LIGHT NOVELS DAMMIT
#37
I would give her a nice poem

Roses are red,
Violets are blue,
I've got a knife,
Now get in the fuckin' van.
Quote by lambofgod127
btw im in hs and im almost 18 so if u do think she was flirting with me dont say that its wrong im almost a grown man.




༼ ▀̿Ĺ̯▀̿ ̿ ༽ WE ARE ROB ༼ ▀̿Ĺ̯▀̿ ̿ ༽
#38
Quote by slash_GNR666
I would give her a nice poem

Roses are red,
Violets are blue,
I've got a knife,
Now get in the fuckin' van.



I want to read your essays and blogs of the artistic nature!


Art evokes the mystery without which the world would not exist.

- Rene Magritte
#39
"I like your eyes.


On a platter."
Quote by slash_GNR666
You sir, are a giant c*** and you finger will forever haunt my dreams.


Quote by Kind, Non-Existant User
Coco-Loco is the finest bit of meat on the butcher block.
Last edited by coco-loco at Aug 23, 2011,
#40
Quote by slash_GNR666
I would give her a nice poem

Roses are red,
Violets are blue,
I've got a knife,
Now get in the fuckin' van.


The "fuckin'" completely destroys the rhythm.
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