#1
Stepping over the rotten pieces
Of the life we had together
Broken whispers cut the air
Shattered promises of forever

Keep your arms crossed
Tight over your chest
Forget this game you lost
And let me lay it to rest

Say the last rites for
The man you once knew
I've never been anything
But dead to you

So leave me in my grave

You may have once thought
What I didn't know couldn't hurt
But now your life is buried
Six feet under sins and dirt

So
Keep your arms crossed
Tight over your chest
Forget this game you lost
And let me lay it to rest

Say the last rites for
The man you once knew
I've never been anything
But dead to you

And leave me in my grave

You could've grabbed a shovel
And tried to change your fate
Instead you slammed the coffin-lid
And you nailed it down with hate

Just leave it lain to rest
You know it's for the best

So leave it in it's grave.
#2
You don't know me, so I'm not going to pretend that I'm some amazing writer and tell you everything I say is right. I'm going to give you my honest opinion of this piece here, and please don't take it personally. If you don't like what I have to say just write me off as a douchebag and go about your day. No harm done.

I'm guessing this is one of your first trys at songwriting (if im way off I apologize). But my advice is to keep trying, it takes time to become a better writer. And the only way to become better is just to keep writing. That's the bottom line and I think alot of people would agree. But this piece has it's moments of potential. I will give it that. However, as I was reading this I felt you were trying to hard. I don't really know how to explain that but i hope it makes sense. It just felt forced, like you were trying to imitate those songs you hear on the radio. Not that that's a bad thing, i just don't think it worked here. I know it takes alot of balls to take something you've written and post it on the internet for criticism, and I commend you for that. But there isn't much of anything original here. This has all been said before. I don't believe this is YOU. I feel like this is you trying to be somebody else. But hey, I'm just an average guy so if you disagree, like I said just call me a douchebag and move on with your day. Hope I helped at least a little bit. And remember just keep on writing.