#1
Second post here, C4C:

ive lived in the sky and died in my mind
beautiful girls and half assed tries
back to square one, ill cast it away,
i can do without flamboyant L.A.
Im off to the canyons where i stare to the hills
eyes gleaming with a passion that kills

Chorus : *i wanna go back
to the age of intuition
where the sun will rise
and my doubts will disappear
take me back
to the age of intuition
yeah,
anywhere away from here*

~bridge~
mind control, mass display, we reproduce and for that we pay

Im not one of them though i fit the mold
so i lie by myself, bitter and cold
id like to go back to the times of old
alone in the twilight my soul has been sold

*chorus*

I lie and wait, but it will never come
Last edited by mojorisin313 at Sep 5, 2011,
#2
i get a vibe from guns and roses with a killer riff in the first stanza. too much chaos in the rock in roll life drugs, sex, and rock in roll. Retreating to the (canyon) arizona to escape. arizona pictures in my mind when you talk about canyon and hills.

1st chorus describes you are tempting to go back to the rock and roll life style. I'm not sure about the age of intuition? college or vocational schooling. Anyways you want to retreat from that and rock out. doesnt make a clear connection with the first verse. may want to emphasize why you're rebellioning against intuition.

Bridge talks about mainstream society to pay for our entertainment. video games, music, flat screen tvs, friends/ groups, etc.

2nd verse has a good connection with the 1st. you dont want to go back but you sold your soul to rock and roll. i like the rhyming.

don't understand the last chorus at the end. doesnt make sense to the rest of the peice.

hope this helps
#3
Quote by jod23
i get a vibe from guns and roses with a killer riff in the first stanza. too much chaos in the rock in roll life drugs, sex, and rock in roll. Retreating to the (canyon) arizona to escape. arizona pictures in my mind when you talk about canyon and hills.

1st chorus describes you are tempting to go back to the rock and roll life style. I'm not sure about the age of intuition? college or vocational schooling. Anyways you want to retreat from that and rock out. doesnt make a clear connection with the first verse. may want to emphasize why you're rebellioning against intuition.

Bridge talks about mainstream society to pay for our entertainment. video games, music, flat screen tvs, friends/ groups, etc.

2nd verse has a good connection with the 1st. you dont want to go back but you sold your soul to rock and roll. i like the rhyming.

don't understand the last chorus at the end. doesnt make sense to the rest of the peice.

hope this helps


To be honest.. that ^^ isn't what it meant at all. it's nothing to do with rock and roll and going back to the life style, or rebelling against intuition (in fact im embracing it) and it is far less literal than you interpreted. the piece has a whole other meaning, that i know is kind of hard to understand, but let's see what others can draw from it. I'll get to your stuff later tonight or tomorrow, thanks for the critique
#4
yeah,
anywhere away from here*


Replace this with a more intelligent catchy line and the lyrics are gold IMO.
It's spelled wiener.