Alright guys. Here's my issue.
I've been wanting to record some tracks on my laptop with Reaper and my distortion is coming out all compressed. It's quite possibly the most frustrating thing I've experienced in my 19 years. Besides a Rubik's Cube. Can you guys give me some advice on fixing this atrocity?
PRS Tremonti
ESP LTD Deluxe Viper 1000
Fender Telecaster
B.C. Rich Warlock
Epiphone Goth SG
Randall RD200
Line 6 Spider IV 150
A couple of thoughts here:

Distorted guitar is generally very compressed *anyways.*

That said, you can get more dynamics from your guitar by turning the gain down on the amp ( you always need much less gain than you think you do when you record).

Could I get some more talent in the monitors, please?

I know it sounds crazy, but try to learn to inhale your voice. www.thebelcantotechnique.com

Chris is the king of relating music things to other objects in real life.