jtaf
Registered User
Join date: Dec 2010
265 IQ
#1
I've been messing around with it lately, but I dont know if its worth it to keep working on it. Any opinions are really appreciated.
C4C of course
Attachments:
d.gp5
Last edited by jtaf at Sep 8, 2011,
mcorrea94
Registered User
Join date: Jul 2011
32 IQ
#2
i think the vocals in the verse are a little boring, you want to give them a more interesting rhythm or something. Also, some parts of the chorus sound really dissonant becuase of the vocals, i'd change that. Although that, your song is good, but clearly you need to work on it a lot, polish it and then you will have a nice overall song.
jtaf
Registered User
Join date: Dec 2010
265 IQ
#3
Thanks a lot for your comment, I'll keep in mind what you said
Mean Mr Mustard
Naked By The Computer
Join date: Aug 2007
6,868 IQ
#4
I have to agree with the above poster about the vocal lines. I liked your use of strange chords, and it was a nice pleasant sounding rhythm behind it, but try to vary the phrasing a bit on your vocal melody. Especially in the pre-chorus.

The chorus was pretty strange to me, because of all the chromatic melodies and everything. I think it worked though in itself, but from the verse, it seems like it doesn't fit. It just has a different feel to it. I see that all you have right now is the verse, pre-chorus, and chorus to your song. I'd recommend trying to take the verse and pre-chorus and try to add another chorus section to your song if you could. The chorus is fine really, but comes out of nowhere.

As usual, I liked the sound of your piece, it's a nice break from all the metal that gets posted here, and I really like how you usually implement some sort of a walking bassline in your work, I like it, and you have some fancy chords to throw in. Keep going at it, because it sounds okay, but again, I don't really think the chorus fits all that well.