critting as i listen:
your guitar sounds a little out of tune
pentatonic soloing in the beginning is pretty weak
riff with the powerchords is definitely much better and would make a great verse
the little lead filler bits you throw in with the powerchords kind of throw off the tempo

I'd really only consider the powerchord part to be usable out of this recording, but i think it would lend itself to a great drumbeat and some cool vocals, something like queens of the stone age.

from 0:57 to 1:00 it sounds like you were onto something that would make a good breakdown/bridge, but then it kind of climbs up into some more pentatonic soloing stuff and it loses the appeal. the faster riff you have in there is definitely something too though, you just need to work on getting it cleaner.

i know i'm kind of ripping into this song a lot, but i do think the verse and that faster part are really usable for a verse or something.

can you check out my thread for my band and help us pick a song to record?
American Circus
Like the White Stripes, RHCP, or Cage the Elephant? Check out mah band!