#1
Hi, I'm new here. Been writing a lot of lyrics lately, but I've never really been proud of them or something, no matter how much some of my friends like them. So I'm open for suggestions, just don't be too harsh... I think the meaning of this song is pretty self-explanatory (it's about innerbeauty and stuff). Imagine an A7x-like song, with softer and heavier parts. There might be some grammar mistakes and stuff, PLEASE point them out to me, thanks


Beauty fills our heads with wonder
Drives us mad with jealousy
Oh, if there only wouldn’t be such a thing
The cruelty of striving towards perfection
A curse, never to be broken
Not now – not when death lasts forever
Essence is empty in us, insanity left us all blind

[Chorus:]
Can you feel it burn, burning like a thousand suns
Or has your heart been frozen for too long?
True matter lies within the heart
Sanity’s flames died out long ago

It seems we have closed our eyes
Grown blind for all this pain
Now don’t you realize what you’ve done?
A millions of hearts are broken by your view
And there’s no more chance to make it right
Hatred all around the world has grown
Essence is no longer there, insanity left us behind

[Chorus2]
Can you feel it burn, burning like a thousand suns
Or has your heart been frozen for too long?
True matter lies within the heart
Not an illusion fed to the brain
Hatred flows inside my veins
My anger to release on the cold-blooded
The window’s dirty, the mirror’s shattered
Reflections of ugliness stares at us
I know how you must be feeling
You’re not the only one
#2
after reading this peice i feel alot of emotions in it. that your describing this person as cold-hearted living in this world. for example your heart's been frozen for too long. nice describition on that lyric. your asking the person is your heart burning for a thousand suns but that person is unresponsive. It feels that this person has lied, cheat, steal and simply using the narrator for emotional support.

chorus 2 should be condense with a primary focus of burning hatred thus lead to insanity.
dont like the ending though because the narrator has comprised with the individual.

"I know how you must be feeling
You’re not the only one"

It doesnt connect with the rest of the peice. I figure the narrator would move on from this individual. the narrator asks certain questions of what have you done and why is your heart cold.
Maybe the narrator never got a clear answer and got very angry and blaming others. i dont know

overall good describitions of the approach with this particular individual's anger but lost focus at the end when comprising with the individual. it came out of left field.

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https://www.ultimate-guitar.com/forum/showthread.php?t=1476374
#3
I quite like the first verse, but it doesnt seem to have much flow to it, whith the first two lines quite short it makes the second 2 seem really long, also is the "insanity left us all blind" stolen straight from an A7x song?

I really like the chorus, ut maybe change "buring" to just "burn" again

same problems with the second verse as the first, but i like the seconc chorus again.
#5
Firstly, let me congratulate you on your correct use of apostrophes. It gladdens my heart.
Third stanza: a millions of hearts needs correcting, also in the last stanza reflections of ugliness stares at us would sound better if it was stare at us.
I like it :-)
not going viral


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