Has anybody else had this problem with girls? I could use really some advise..

#1
Alright, hey guys! Hope everything's going awesome.

I'm a 17 year old guy, and I have never really had a girlfriend before, I mean there were plenty of chances where I COULD have, but you know, it just didnt feel right or whatever...I'm always "friend zoned" pretty fast once I actually do really start liking a girl.

Anyway, I've noticed as soon as I meet a cool girl, and start to hang out with them when my friend are around, they start "liking" them, I've been told alot that alot of my friends are "hot", or whatever, which just sucks for me. Every girl I meet usually just stops talking to me no matter how much I try to do something with them, and of course I dont like stalk them, and suffocate them or anything haha. Well they just start posting on my friends facebook 'walls' all the time, and are always so giggly around them, and in some events they start dating. Sometimes I really am crushed by that. I cant do anything otherwise..I'm really not an ugly guy or anything, but I'm totally not great looking. Ehhh back on subject haha, I can't escape this problem, these girls I meet never really like me, they just start falling for my friends, and I'm pretty bummed out by this, what do you guys think I should do, just find new friends? Be one of those hyper macho dudes, and just get super ripped, and aggressive? I'm pretty much up for anything as long as it's sound advise! I mean, I'm getting pretty sad about this, I would really appreciate some help guys, If you feel like trolling me or whatever, I mean that's cool or something, but I am pretty confused.


Thanks in advance everybody!
#5
You just need confidence. If you act like you're someone worth knowing, they'll want to know you better. If you sit there and try to play the "I'm gloomy but a nice person" card, it just won't work.
Member of the Laney Cult
#6
Your friends sound like they have you around to make them look better.

You're the bait, but their the fishermen.

And just keep looking man, there's tons of chicks out there, it's gonna happen eventually. I met two chicks who were interested in me the same day after months of nothing.
#7
Stop worrying, do your thing. you should just stop focussing on it. Don't be some one you are not, just be yourself and stop actually caring that much. girls in general dont like men who are having the whole "puppy syndrome" when they are near them.

Rest of the equation still has to be filled in, because i fail at the same part as you are right now the last 3 years, i used to have near 5 girlfriends in 2 years, and then suddenly nothing. (braces D

tl;dr:
Be yourself, start doing something except looking for girls, let them look for you. (Being outside more helps, getting a job in a public place etc. chance math? :P)
#8
Quote by Yoda_is_real
I'm a 17 year old guy, and I have never really had a girlfriend before, I mean there were plenty of chances where I COULD have, but you know, it just didnt feel right or whatever...I'm always "friend zoned" pretty fast once I actually do really start liking a girl.

Don't be alarmed... but I think we may be the same person.
#9
Quote by Jon777
Hang out with ugly people. Plus, it make you look much, much better.


Trolololol +1

But ok seriously. I totally get you bro. (god almost starting to sound like I'm from Jersey Shore. I had and well sort of still have that problem I guess and I'm around the same age. I ALWAYS got freindzoned and they wound up going out with some of my best friends which sucks (even more on the few occasions where I like the person. Ok one thing that seems to come across in your post is that you seem kinda insecure. I really don't think getting super ripped and acting aggressive helps (ok the buff bit does help). Its more about just being confident in who you are or at least pretending to be.

Personally just acting more confident for me did wonders. First night I tried it hooked up pretty easily, even though at the time I didn't really feel that good about myself just pretending I did worked out alright. SO... YEAH! give that a shot and try going to parties or other events where you can meet girls you don't already know. Who knows you might find someone that it works out with.

But ok seriously man the bottom line is that you should mostly just chill and don't keep appologizing or backtracking or whatever you call it with what you say (I noticed you kept saying "or whatever" in your post and I might be reading too far into it but anyways don;t think I am)

Best of luck with it bro oh and btw theres also a relationship thread that could help with this stuff.
#11
Quote by mikeyknowsbetter
The day you stop caring is the day that you will have multiple girls all over you.


so true... the girls you fawn all over never really reciprocate just maybe use you. The ones you mostly ignore are the ones that usually fall for you.

Also, I think a load of 17 year olds feel the same as us.
Last edited by adodin at Sep 3, 2011,
#12
Okay guys, thanks alot, from what I've gathered, I should just stop thinking so much about it and just let whatever happens happen, I'll probably try working out some because that couldn't possibly hurt, and I have noticed that when I just let myself be "happy" even If I'm not, more people will laugh at my jokes, and want to talk to me, so I guess I could just suck up my wimpyness, and give that a shot as well. Not giving girls so much attention would probably be nice, because then I would stop being used so often, and as a side, I never really know what to say anyway, so I could just use that as an advantage haha. Alright thanks alot guys, I'm sure this could work out, and I genuinely think I'm going to get away from some of my friends, I dont want to be that "bait", as someone put it. However, I dont want to do the same thing my "friends" do to me to someone else, so I'll probably just hang by myself for awhile. Thanks again guys!
#13
Stop looking. Best thing I ever did was to stop looking for a relationship, then they just happened. As you get more mature, though, you'll realize you're goofy as hell, not that you're ugly or anything, and you'll see that these girls aren't really for you, because if they were you'd be dating them.
Due what you want as long as you vote Due!
#15
Quote by sashki
Confidence is the key. Be yourself, don't try too hard to impress someone. Know that you are worthy of being loved.

[/20 year old virgin with neck beard giving advice]


This is job interview advice. Honestly, it's not about acting confident. You should build a friendship with them. I don't think the friend zone exists, it's just a place where girls don't have to feel bad about turning you down. I mean, girls aren't some odd species, they think just like guys, girls don't seriously go. "Oh man I'd totally **** that guy, if only I didn't want to ruin our friendship." No, male friends can turn into boyfriends, they grow feelings just like boys do, you're ignorant if you think otherwise.
Due what you want as long as you vote Due!
#16
Be yourself, live your life. Don't - and I mean DON'T - prioritize "finding a girlfriend". One day eventually you'll find the good one. It doesn't matter if you had chances or not, because those chances will come back. You will make some mistakes - everyone does - and just move on.

But like I said, don't make the girl hunt a priority, it's the worst thing to do unless you're only looking to one-night stands or **** friends (or a "relationship" where sex is the priority.. you know what I mean).
#18
Quote by tayroar
This is job interview advice. Honestly, it's not about acting confident. You should build a friendship with them. I don't think the friend zone exists, it's just a place where girls don't have to feel bad about turning you down. I mean, girls aren't some odd species, they think just like guys, girls don't seriously go. "Oh man I'd totally **** that guy, if only I didn't want to ruin our friendship." No, male friends can turn into boyfriends, they grow feelings just like boys do, you're ignorant if you think otherwise.

This is pretty much some of the best advice you're going to get. The best relationships often start out from being friends.
I think it's time for a change.



Sig v5.0 (approximate)
#19
Silly kids and their thinking that a girl will make their life better....That's a full blown lie. Just having a girlfriend will not make your life better, it'll prolly make it worse, unless you find a good girl, which is almost impossible to do nowadays.

Just wait dude, I know you've prolly heard this a million times, but you'll know when the right one comes along, and she's out there.
#21
Just keep trying. I was in the same situation until one month ago, then I met an awesome girl over the internet, met her irl and we're in a relationship now. And it's been the hell of a relationship, I tell ya

Just meet more people. Be who you are and find someone who appreciates that! And good luck, mate.
#22
Quote by JaykeSucks
You just need confidence. If you act like you're someone worth knowing, they'll want to know you better. If you sit there and try to play the "I'm gloomy but a nice person" card, it just won't work.


This.
#23
Alright, thanks again for everything guys! Some of this advise just seems to make so much sense, I dont even know why I never thought of it on my own...Thanks guys.
#24
Im surprised no one has made a refrence to the relationship thread or trolled the crap out of this guy. Pit Monkeys are being nice tonight.
...it was bright as the sun, but with ten times the heat
#26
advice*
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#29
Confidence my friend, you need confidence. Girls look for that, don't be an arrogant shit head because it sounds like you're looking for a girlfriend and not a one night stand.
Gotta keep my eyes from the circling skies...
tounge tied and twisted just an earth bound misfit...

>CRYPTIC METAPHOR<


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ilikeyou.

not hated
#30
Quote by ethan_hanus
Silly kids and their thinking that a girl will make their life better....That's a full blown lie. Just having a girlfriend will not make your life better, it'll prolly make it worse, unless you find a good girl, which is almost impossible to do nowadays.


Listen to this dude.

You don't need a girlfriend to get laid. Just hang out at parties and make more friends. If you're chill you'll get some lady attention.
THE SOLE PURPOSE OF THIS SIG IS TO GRAB YOUR ATTENTION TO THIS POST OF UTTER GENIUS
#31
HILT!

Where's Waldo?

#32
Quote by c3powil
Im surprised no one has made a refrence to the relationship thread or trolled the crap out of this guy. Pit Monkeys are being nice tonight.


He even said we can troll him (or whatever)!

Smart kid, using reverse-psychology on The Pit.
#33
Stop worrying; Love is out there, man, even for you. I used to be in the same position... Now I'm in a great relationship with a woman whom I love.
Tell me who's that writin'...
#35
Quote by ethan_hanus
Silly kids and their thinking that a girl will make their life better....That's a full blown lie. Just having a girlfriend will not make your life better, it'll prolly make it worse, unless you find a good girl, which is almost impossible to do nowadays.

Exactly: you should go gay TS.

[IN PHIL WE TRUST]


Quote by Trowzaa
I only play bots. Bots never abandon me. (´・ω・`)

#36
Your looks are not the issue so long as you aren't a dirty/deformed/fat bastard.

They're probably showing more romantic or sexual interest in your friends because said friends are probably giving them romantic and sexual hints. You have to show hints of interest, flirt with them. Just don't be creepy about it. Give them a hook to bite on or they will find another.

It will feel awkward at first. You'll probably get turned down or lold at some. But dude. Learn this shit now while you are in high school. That way once you are in college (if you are going) you'll have some experience. Don't worry about ruining chances to your high school mates you'll probably never see them again anyways.
#37
Quote by Yoda_is_real
If you feel like trolling me or whatever, I mean that's cool




don't worry some day you will meet a girl that's interested in you just the way you are