#1
Some girls might, Have tear drops on their guitars
But mine has cigarette burns and angry scars
and one day her tears will dry
but my marks will always show you Where I,
I've been
but maybe thats just the kind of love I'm always in

And while she cries her tears
I'll drown mine in a couple more beers
and she has her ways and I have mine
but I'll do anything it takes to get you off my mind
and maybe one day I won't spend all my time thinking of you
but only god knows when
maybe thats just the kind of love I'm always in

and even though I know I
Bring this pain on myself
sometimes a woman makes do when there is no one else
people say that time heals all things
but it sure is hard to fly with two broken wings

and while she cries a few more tears
I'll still be drowning mine in a couple more beers
and she has her ways but I have mine
But I'll do anything it takes to keep you off my mind
and may be one day I won't spend so much time thinking of you
but only god knows when
but may be thats just the kind of love I'm always in

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This the newest one I just finished...
#2
Quote by catlycat
Some girls might, Have tear drops on their guitars
But mine has cigarette burns and angry scars
and one day her tears will dry
but my marks will always show you Where I,
I've been
but maybe thats just the kind of love I'm always in

The flow seems to be all over the place, but it's always hard to tell without the music. The content is really good. I like the idea of tears leaving temporary marks, while cigarettes leave permanent burns. I dig it.

And while she cries her tears
I'll drown mine in a couple more beers
and she has her ways and I have mine
but I'll do anything it takes to get you off my mind
and maybe one day I won't spend all my time thinking of you
but only god knows when
maybe thats just the kind of love I'm always in

Again, I can't pinpoint the flow. In the middle of the stanza, it gets pretty cliche, but the last line redeems it with some originality.

and even though I know I
Bring this pain on myself
sometimes a woman makes do when there is no one else
people say that time heals all things
but it sure is hard to fly with two broken wings

The only line I don't like here is the last one. It's just a bit too cliche for my taste. The rest is pretty good.

and while she cries a few more tears
I'll still be drowning mine in a couple more beers
and she has her ways but I have mine
But I'll do anything it takes to keep you off my mind
and may be one day I won't spend so much time thinking of you
but only god knows when
but may be thats just the kind of love I'm always in

The repetition of the previous verse works well here, though I'm still not sure about lines four and five. I'd also suggest changing the last line just a little bit since it's the last time it's repeated. Maybe to something like "but maybe that's just the kind of love you've left me in" or something. Just change it up a little and give it some finality.

___________________________________

This the newest one I just finished...


This was actually a pretty good read. Some of it got a bit too cliche, but a lot of the imagery was really interesting, and the emotion is pretty strong in this. I enjoyed it.