#1
The ceiling is indebted
To the left and the right
They hold each other up
But got no dogs in the fight
All I know is I'm alone
On this the longest night

But all I want is you
All I want is you
All I want is you

Tsunamis wash the sins away
And make the world clean
Earthquakes give us glimpses
Of the in-between
Tornadoes lift the rooftops
So the sky may be seen

And all I want is you
All I want is you
All I want is you

The ceiling is indebted
Tsunamis wash the sins away
Tornadoes lift the rooftops
Earthquakes got no dogs in the fight

All I want is you
All I want is you
All I want is you
All I want is you
Nothing to see here. Move along.
#3
Quote by Nilchii
The ceiling is indebted
To the left and the right
They hold each other up
But got no dogs in the fight
All I know is I'm alone
On this the longest night

The first three lines are great. The fourth line feels forced for the rhyme, and it's completely unrelated. The last two lines are fine.

But all I want is you
All I want is you
All I want is you

Cliche as all hell, but this would work fine if this is acoustic/folkish.

Tsunamis wash the sins away
And make the world clean
Earthquakes give us glimpses
Of the in-between
Tornadoes lift the rooftops
So the sky may be seen

This stanza is brilliant, especially the last four lines. My only qualm is the flow is off in the fourth line, but I'm sure you've worked it out to flow well in the context of the music.

And all I want is you
All I want is you
All I want is you

The ceiling is indebted
Tsunamis wash the sins away
Tornadoes lift the rooftops
Earthquakes got no dogs in the fight

The last line is the only line I'd change here. Again, the "dogs in the fight" thing feels completely unrelated and distracts from the natural disaster imagery.

All I want is you
All I want is you
All I want is you
All I want is you


Overall, this could be a beautiful folk/acoustic song. As a rock song, the chorus probably wouldn't work as well. Anyway, these are some of the best lyrics I've seen here in a while. Great work, mate.
Last edited by Winter Sky at Sep 7, 2011,
#6
somelines are too long and dont add up in the meter, but all in all, its a good work
(>^_^)>#