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#1
I'm rather bored, so I looked to the internet for some old-timey insults too spew at friends and family when the mood strikes me. Having done a brief google search, I'm turning to the Beef-Witted Mountebanks of the pit for more examples.

Such as:
Rube
Jackanapes
Swillbelly
Smellsock
Slummock
Dandy
Ninnyhammer
Cockabaloo
Blatherskite
Jubbernowl
Malt-Worm
Dandiprat
Lickpenny
Trollybags
Gundygut

I found most of these, and a few more here
... For A Pair Of Brown Eyes

Quote by Bladez22
smoke, you get more awesome by the minute..... You have an epic beard, live near woods, listen to metal, grill stuff using makeshift bbqs out of old cans, and now we find out you have stabbed someone in the dick
#4
I've heard my grandpa say cockgoblin a few times
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#6
Quote by metalh3ad88
I'll dandy your trollybags...

with my cockabaloo

You dishonor me sir! I'd challenge you to a duel, were you not a craven land-fish!
... For A Pair Of Brown Eyes

Quote by Bladez22
smoke, you get more awesome by the minute..... You have an epic beard, live near woods, listen to metal, grill stuff using makeshift bbqs out of old cans, and now we find out you have stabbed someone in the dick
#7
Quote by BottleOfSmoke
You dishonor me sir! I'd challenge you to a duel, were you not a craven land-fish!


I would not deign to lower myself to such a level sir.

My butler will be on the green at three with his matchlock to deal with your jackanapery.
#11
this shakespearean insult generator yields many an insulting quip:

http://www.pangloss.com/seidel/Shaker/index.html
... For A Pair Of Brown Eyes

Quote by Bladez22
smoke, you get more awesome by the minute..... You have an epic beard, live near woods, listen to metal, grill stuff using makeshift bbqs out of old cans, and now we find out you have stabbed someone in the dick
#13
gaylord
Guitars
Godin Velocity w/ Schaller locking tuners
Ibanez RG7321 w/ Dimarzio Crunchlab & Liquifire
Seagull Coastline S6 Burst GT QI
Random Ibanez Bass

Gear
Blackstar HT-5 Head
Avatar Contemporary 212 Cab
Peavey Valveking 112
#15
Quote by Jackal58
Of course you have a small penis.

...
Last edited by devourke at Sep 9, 2011,
#17
You young whippersnappers with your new-fangled Ip Ods and Game Boys!
Quote by EndTheRapture51
who pays five hundred fucking dollars for a burger
#18
you milk-livered strumpet!
... For A Pair Of Brown Eyes

Quote by Bladez22
smoke, you get more awesome by the minute..... You have an epic beard, live near woods, listen to metal, grill stuff using makeshift bbqs out of old cans, and now we find out you have stabbed someone in the dick
#20
You are as rheumatic as two dry toasts.
Your virginity breeds mites, much like a cheese.

also from Macbeth:
Your face is as a book, where men may read strange matters.

Shakespeare the new nostradamus?
you still have zoiiidbeeeerg
(V) (;,,;) (V)
YOU ALL STILL HAVE ZOIDBERG
Quote by TheBurningFish
It's more shocking to see Tom dressed at all.
Quote by suckersdream
I don't think I've ever actually seen him clothed.
Sexy Peoples Only
◕ ‿ ◕
TweetZ
#22
You utter nitwit sir! I'll have you out on your ear!
"You're not hardcore unless you live hardcore"
#23
"I hate thee, pronounce thee a gross lout, a mindless slave"

"My wife's a hobby horse"

"You are rough and hairy"

"She is spread of late into a goodly bulk"

The Winter's Tale is badass.
#28
She was a spent piece of used jet trash.
Quote by Gabel
You are EXTREMELY WRONG! I have played it. I own an 18W and it would be an awful stereo amp, it's way too bright, breaks up too easily and so on. Secondly, why would a guitar store sell an hifi amp.
#33
Quote by halo43
You foul baboon. You bleeding sore on a dog's hind. Thou art as warm and kindly as a Northerly wind, and thy kiss is as sweet as a hornet's sting.

You dim witted troll of a man. Go back to your mother's teat, you pompous ass.


I read that in Stephen Frys voice.

There is a bit in a Laurel and Hardy film where Ollie says to a guy "you snake in the grass!" then Stan follows up with "yeah, you toad in the hole!", i think it is something you need to see to get the joke really.
WHOMP

Think of that next time you are not allowed to laugh.
#34
Quote by donender
I read that in Stephen Frys voice.

There is a bit in a Laurel and Hardy film where Ollie says to a guy "you snake in the grass!" then Stan follows up with "yeah, you toad in the hole!", i think it is something you need to see to get the joke really.


Frigid narrative, sibling.
#35
You're naught but fat and tallow. On Judgment Day you'll burn longer than half the world.

[IN PHIL WE TRUST]


Quote by Trowzaa
I only play bots. Bots never abandon me. (´・ω・`)

#36
Quote by donender

There is a bit in a Laurel and Hardy film where Ollie says to a guy "you snake in the grass!" then Stan follows up with "yeah, you toad in the hole!", i think it is something you need to see to get the joke really.


The joke is, a 'snake in the grass' is someone who is likely to betray you so it is therefore a genuine insult, while 'toad in the hole' is a traditional English dish (Stan Laurel was an Englishman) consisting of sausages in Yorkshire pudding batter so it's just plain silly to attempt to insult someone with it.
#37
Quote by SlackerBabbath
The joke is, a 'snake in the grass' is someone who is likely to betray you so it is therefore a genuine insult, while 'toad in the hole' is a traditional English dish (Stan Laurel was an Englishman) consisting of sausages in Yorkshire pudding batter so it's just plain silly to attempt to insult someone with it.


I know.
WHOMP

Think of that next time you are not allowed to laugh.
#38
Quote by donender
I know.

So does everyone else now.
See? It wasn't something you need to see to get the joke, it just required an explanation.
#39
And there I was thinking toad in the hole was a euphemism for teh buttsecks.
For Frodo!
Quote by jrcsgtpeppers
No because a world full of marbles silly man is just as real as a half empty glass of microwaved nesquik.
#40
Your mother is a beep beep beep ing beep lora nimson beep beep beep agnitem verium bep beep beep beep tragula beep beep beep beep beep beep hippopotamus beep beep beep beep beep beep republican beep beep beep and Daniel Radcliff beep beep beep beep with a bucket of beep beep beep beep beep in a castle far away where no one can hear you beep beep beep beep beep soup beep beep beep with a bucket of beep beep mickey mouse beep beep and a stick of dynamite beep beep beep beep beep magical beep beep beep beep beep alakazam!

oldest one in the book

Wizard Swears
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