Alright, so I've had this song idea for quite a while now and finally managed to get something down. However, I've only got a Pre-chorus/chorus and I'd like your opinion on what I've got.

Thanks everyone. C4C if you want it.


Scream until the sun draws
And wait for it all to begin again

Now I’m inches from the ledge
Facing a wind that begs me to fall
And these fractured wings made from steel
Bend the knees that fail to stand tall


That's all I've got thus far. Opinion?
"This nightmare's gonna break me.
Please, Daylight, save me..."
Last edited by DaysofGrace at Sep 10, 2011,
First of all thank you for you input i was unsure about a chorus myself i might take a verse and rework it in to a chorus.

On to yours
The chorus i really like wouldn't change it at all.
Not a critisim at all but the the last word "draws" on the first line of the pre chorus don't sit right with me.
I invision it more as a sun setting or waiting for the sun to rise.
But other than that it's really good i cant wait to read the finnished lyrics.
my intake on the chrous is drawn to struggle with inner self. making a poor decision thus leading to consquences. maybe its written with a preception of a bird trying to fly again after being injured. trying to move on again.