#1
I'll spare you the details of the story and keep this short. I have been playing with this guy for 4 months. (hes 20 years older than me) When I first met him, he just had quit his band and took most of the former members with him. He recruited an amazing singer too.

The singer has only showed up to one practice, and now may be deserting us.since the beginning, its just been me and the guitarist sitting in a crowded apartment riffing out songs, none of the others are involved yet. I have a decent recording setup on my pc, so i've been recording/producing all of our music too. I'm starting to think i might be able to have more musical freedom working by myself. Theres also quite a divide in playing ability between him and I. I'm starting to feel like i'm giving lessons.

My question is: How do I break the news to him politely? since we'll most likely be playing shows in the same area, i don't want to attract a bad reputation within the local scene. He's a real nice guy so I might even consider playing with him again one day, but right now id rather work on my own project.

any advice would be helpful
#2
Just say, "Hey man, I'd like to talk for a minute" and then explain your reasoning, say it's been a great time playing, recording, etc with him and all that stuff. That's all you can do unless you want to send him flowers too.
#3
cant you do both at the same time? your own project and his project?
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#5
Quote by severed-metal
Just say, "Hey man, I'd like to talk for a minute" and then explain your reasoning, say it's been a great time playing, recording, etc with him and all that stuff. That's all you can do unless you want to send him flowers too.
This sounds like the reasonable path to go down. Maybe do it outside of practice, perhaps over lunch. That, and act really sincere.
#6
Quote by severed-metal
Just say, "Hey man, I'd like to talk for a minute" and then explain your reasoning, say it's been a great time playing, recording, etc with him and all that stuff. That's all you can do unless you want to send him flowers too.


Sounds good to me. Make sure that it's either in person or over the phone, not via sms/email/fb chat etc. Make sure it's done respectfully.

Personally I'd stress that this process is taking too long, and at this rate isn't going anywhere. Tell him it was great to jam with him and if he ever gets anything up and running in the future contact you so you can organise some gigs together.
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#7
Quote by AlanHB
Sounds good to me. Make sure that it's either in person or over the phone, not via sms/email/fb chat etc. Make sure it's done respectfully.

Personally I'd stress that this process is taking too long, and at this rate isn't going anywhere. Tell him it was great to jam with him and if he ever gets anything up and running in the future contact you so you can organise some gigs together.

This is what I did and it worked just fine.

We had shows lined up so I told them "This isn't the music I want to create anymore, but I'll play that last show with you and then that's it". No hard feelings. Nothing. Just friends that jam. If he's 20 years older than you he should be mature about it.
#8
Quote by rocker222
cant you do both at the same time? your own project and his project?
Yeah, iv'e thought about it. this band is old school metal, my project is technical death metal so there's a big difference in styles. I really hate to quit, id rather just take some time off and work on my project until things are a little bit more solidified. Since the singer flaked and we don't even have a practice space yet, it gets boring just trading riffs in a cramped apartment. I feel i can be more productive recording by myself at this stage. once we get a practice space and a permanent singer, I'll be down in a heartbeat! I just need collected dedication.
#9
Quote by AlanHB
Sounds good to me. Make sure that it's either in person or over the phone, not via sms/email/fb chat etc. Make sure it's done respectfully.

Personally I'd stress that this process is taking too long, and at this rate isn't going anywhere. Tell him it was great to jam with him and if he ever gets anything up and running in the future contact you so you can organise some gigs together.

Yeah i figured that it would be kind of like breaking up with a girl. Big no no to do it over email. hell hath no fury like a woman scorned!
#11
Agree with what people say about talking to him in person, or on the phone.

Be honest, but don't get into the details of why his play is disappointing you.

"I've really enjoyed playing with you, but honestly I'm looking for a new direction and I think it's time for me to explore other avenues. We should get together and jam sometime (you don't have to mean that - it's like telling you girlfriend that you'll still be friends after you break up) but for now I really need to spread my wings a bit."
#12
Throw up in his speaker cabinet.
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#14
Quote by AlanHB

Personally I'd stress that this process is taking too long, and at this rate isn't going anywhere. Tell him it was great to jam with him and if he ever gets anything up and running in the future contact you so you can organise some gigs together.


Alan:

It was really fun jamming with you, but I feel the distance between us is limiting our productivity. The commute from Australia to Canada, I understand, is a real challenge for you, as you have only made it out to practice that one time.

I hope we can jam again in the future. Let me know if you have any shows ever booked in the area. I'd certainly come out and see you.

Regards;
Chris

Could I get some more talent in the monitors, please?

I know it sounds crazy, but try to learn to inhale your voice. www.thebelcantotechnique.com

Chris is the king of relating music things to other objects in real life.
#15
Make it a sandwich - praise him, then break up with him, then praise him.

"Hey man, you're really good at guitar, I love playing with you."

"But unfortunately, I can't/don't want to/etc play with you anymore. I want to focus on some of my own projects because I'm awesome and you're not." (OK, don't say that last bit)

"You're really good at guitar. We'll definitely see each other out on the circuit..."

Or you could just be blunt and tell him you're bored, disappointed and frustrated and that you're no longer going to put up with his shit. Up to you.
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#16
"I think we should see other people..."
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#17
Quote by apalm
Make it a sandwich - praise him, then break up with him, then praise him.

"Hey man, you're really good at guitar, I love playing with you."

"But unfortunately, I can't/don't want to/etc play with you anymore. I want to focus on some of my own projects because I'm awesome and you're not." (OK, don't say that last bit)

"You're really good at guitar. We'll definitely see each other out on the circuit..."

Or you could just be blunt and tell him you're bored, disappointed and frustrated and that you're no longer going to put up with his shit. Up to you.

This is the no nonsense answer i was seeking!